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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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Username_Blank So much I need to say, so I’ll do it in a Q&A format
  • replies: 5

Q: Are you happy? A: No Q: Why are you not happy? A: Because I hate myself Q: Why do you hate yourself? A: Because in my 25 years of being alive most of it has been me making bad decisions which I regret making and I hate myself because I barely made... View more

Q: Are you happy? A: No Q: Why are you not happy? A: Because I hate myself Q: Why do you hate yourself? A: Because in my 25 years of being alive most of it has been me making bad decisions which I regret making and I hate myself because I barely made the good decisions. Q: Name one of these bad decisions. A: Not thinking twice before diving into my relationships. Q: And why do you consider that a bad decision? A: Because I learned a painful lesson, Girls are trouble, always have been, always will be, I should have known better than to be so naive and think that all relationships were perfect. Q: And had you not made this bad decision what would have happened? A: I would not be so emotionally and mentally shattered, I would be a little bit happier knowing I am not having to deal with all the crud of relationships. Q: What about knowledge, would you know as much as you do now had you not made that decision? A: I have a habbit of researching when curious, I would have researched Relationships at length, trying to extrapolate every inch of information I could, from that my knowledge on relationships would grow. Statement: Had you done that you would still been researching for all the answers, why because to learn everything about relationships without ever having been in one takes longer than firsthand experience. Counter-Statement: And Firsthand experience is exactly what lead to me being a mental and emotional mess, I hate being a mental and emotional mess, therefore I hate the decision I made to dive into a relationship without knowing all the information prior.

mango76 Stuck in a really huge rut- can't think of a way out.
  • replies: 3

At present I currently have no high school education - not even a year 10 certificate, never had a job, can't drive, not in uni and live in the middle of nowhere. The nearest civilisation is 10 mins away aka I can't even walk or ride a bike anywhere ... View more

At present I currently have no high school education - not even a year 10 certificate, never had a job, can't drive, not in uni and live in the middle of nowhere. The nearest civilisation is 10 mins away aka I can't even walk or ride a bike anywhere and I don't even have neighbours that I could talk to. I don't know what to do. Every day I do nothing. Get up, go on the computer, read, cook, sleep. Every single day for the past few years. I have no memories really of anything. I don't have any friends that I could hang out with since I never leave my house I don't have any. I thought my only solution to this problem is being able to drive but I can't drive. No matter how hard I try I suck at it. I almost run into people all the time. I get so anxious when I drive and I don't even realise. I tried to drive for a little over a year but now I've given up. I was only on my L's though so I couldn't drive by myself anyway. So because can't drive I can't ever go anywhere and both my parents work so I am at home alone all day every day. I don't even apply to jobs anymore because I have no availability. I've gone almost 2 months without leaving my house earlier this year. I am soooo lonely but I'm very used to it. I can't think of any solution. My parents always ask me if I am depressed all the time and I always say no because I don't know if I am. I'm just numb. I think I am a really big burden on my family and I don't even like them to see me because I feel guilty. Idk what to do. I'm 18

Supreme-Leader-Sun Lost an important friendship two months ago, still unable to make peace with it.
  • replies: 2

Hey everyone, this one might be a bit long but bear with me. Roughly two years ago, I moved from New Zealand to Australia and the first place I lived at was a residential college. Most of you will be familiar with the reputation that residential coll... View more

Hey everyone, this one might be a bit long but bear with me. Roughly two years ago, I moved from New Zealand to Australia and the first place I lived at was a residential college. Most of you will be familiar with the reputation that residential colleges have, especially when it comes to alcohol and partying. Naturally, I found it somewhat hard to fit in, since I don’t drink (alcohol intolerance, made my 18th birthday really fun). There was one other person in my college who did not drink too, and we became very close friends. We were so close that our mutual friends would compare us to an old married couple. Unfortunately, at the start of this year I decided to move out of the residential college, I was fed up with the constant partying and my scholarship had finally expired. My friend stayed however. So around the start of the semester I messaged her asking if she wanted to hang out sometime, she said yes and we arranged a date and time. However, the day of our meetup rolled around and she was sick, and could only see me for half an hour, or we could postpone to another week. I said I understood, though I joked “but I can’t possibly last another week without you!” we used to always say things like this to each other, so I thought it was fine. It was not fine, she said that my joke was super creepy, and she was not comfortable seeing me. I apologise and say I will give her however much distance she needs. Roughly a month later I message her again apologising and saying that I never meant to creep her out, and that I am willing to do anything to mend the friendship. She responded saying that I am not forgiven, and that upon reflecting on our friendship, she was always uncomfortable around me and did not enjoy any of the time we spent together. She then finished by saying I should never contact her again, and any attempts to convince her otherwise will make her more sure of her decision. I tried asking what is it that I do that makes her uncomfortable since she had never brought it up with me previously, but she then proceeded to block me on all forms of social media. Thank you for reading that small tale of woe, it has been two months since this incident has happened and I still feel worthless sometimes, I wonder was I so stupid and shortsighted that I never noticed her being uncomfortable for two years and I still have fears about ever finding someone I’ll be so close to ever again, I hope there are people out there who can relate.

archbsihopofanxiety I am 20 years old. I have thrown up everyday for the last 2 years.
  • replies: 5

I don't remember the last time i cried. However, after spending the last 3 hours reading multiple posts and stories on this forum, I can't stop the tears. I am male, 6 ft and some, i have blue eyes and I spent my formative years chasing popularity an... View more

I don't remember the last time i cried. However, after spending the last 3 hours reading multiple posts and stories on this forum, I can't stop the tears. I am male, 6 ft and some, i have blue eyes and I spent my formative years chasing popularity and girls. If you saw me in the street (which, recently, is a rare sight), you wouldn't be able to tell I have the level of anxiety I do and that, for me, is the worst part. The fact that so many people can be walking by me during the day and enduring this kind of suffering, is heartbreaking. I put off coming to this forum because I was worried about what I would find and whether my story was "worthy" to be shared. I never tell people about my state of mind because ultimately, I don't think I deserve the sympathy. Since High School, my entire persona was built around figuring out what people wanted me to be, say and look like and adjusting to that image. The status and popularity I had (despite how shallow it was) kept me in a state of delirium and unparalleled motivation. I was always chasing that high of approval. I became captain of the sports team, frequently did speeches, became school leader and when school finished, I started a charity, wrote a book, etc. Yet, everything I did was motivated by the attention I received from the people around me. I had experienced bouts of anxiety before but I always came out the other side. Then, I experienced loneliness, social isolation, alienation, agoraphobia, constant vomiting, the palpitations, shaky hands, never eating, significant weight loss, loss of confidence, depersonalisation, fear of depression, fear of death, fear of everything and hypochondria. I am terrified of passing out and the thought haunts me everywhere i go. I wake up sick so I don't eat and then I get more scared of passing out. I have seen six therapists, two psychiatrists and lost count of how many doctors. I know the location of every hospital and always check how far away it is from my current location. I have tried medication but I was so scared of it doing something to me I ended up throwing it up anyway. I don't know what result or response I expect from writing this, if any. I just know that I am strangely hopeful about my situation. It could be delusions of grandeur but I feel sure i will emerge a better person. Or, I may be too far gone and only fame will retrieve my purpose for life. I don't know what values I have left that are authentic to me and not what someone else wants me to be.

KitEmily Urgent Friendship Help
  • replies: 5

Hello, Many name is Kit and I have always struggled with making friends. I lived in the UK originally and had lots of friends, moved to Australia and didn’t make as many friends. I had a few guys as friends but we grew apart. This continued through p... View more

Hello, Many name is Kit and I have always struggled with making friends. I lived in the UK originally and had lots of friends, moved to Australia and didn’t make as many friends. I had a few guys as friends but we grew apart. This continued through primary, secondary and collage. I had a couple of friends in collage but recently one of them was bullying me and calling me names behind my back like “fluff for brains.” So I stopped being her friend, and lost another who does everything she says. I recently reconnected with a friend from collage and she seemed really nice and laid back, but when we want to organise something she always organises it at the last minute and it makes me anxious and stressed. I like to be super organised I have OCD along with Anxiety and I’m on the autism spectrum. I wanted to see her yesterday, and she got back super late. I had been on holiday and was super tired so I slept in, she got pissed off because she wanted to see me in the morning. And she blames me for being not flexible. I don’t think we are friends anymore as she’s sort of made it clear that it’s the last time she will bother to see me. But the thing is I’m the one who organises any of our catchups, the last couple of time I’ve let her we haven’t even seen each other! We’ve go to a party that I organised, the movies, a market all those sorts of things because I organised when and where. Either she doesn’t want to see me or something because whenever I ask her to organise it never happen. And she’s blaming me! She didn’t even ask me how my holiday was, I let my mum read our messages on Facebook and my mum said it felt like she was attaching me It’s the small things and I always make an effort and send smiley faces and all that but I don’t get much back. What do you think about this? I’m lucky I have a lovely boyfriend and family, but I struggle with people my own age especially girls. I feel as if I am not a conformist and my own person, and don’t always fit into the categories people like putting people in. Thanks Kit

LilacGirl How do I deal with a fear of failure?
  • replies: 7

Hey everyone, this is my first post on this site and I am a little nervous to be honest so I'm going to apologise in advance for any rambling that may occur. As I'm sure you guessed from the title, I have a major fear of failure that's messing with m... View more

Hey everyone, this is my first post on this site and I am a little nervous to be honest so I'm going to apologise in advance for any rambling that may occur. As I'm sure you guessed from the title, I have a major fear of failure that's messing with my life. I'm 21 and feel like I have achieved nothing since graduating high school. I have dropped out of university so many times; in fact I've never actually completed a semester because every time I feel like I might fail a subject I just drop out before it can get to that point. I don't want to have to deal with the embarrassment of finding out I'm a failure. Ironically, I feel like a failure already because of how many times I've dropped out. I also lack self-discipline. I was able to achieve pretty good grades in school but only because there was always someone hanging over my shoulder forcing me to do my work. Without that I'm completely useless. I am posting this hoping that somebody has dealt with a similar problem and has any advice for me. I considered some form of exposure therapy but I'm not sure how well that would work, or even how I'd go about that. Thank you for the taking the time to read this, hopefully I can reciprocate the favour in some way.

katackisoho I feel like I’m worth nothing anymore
  • replies: 7

Hey everyone, I don’t know why I’m posting here, but I think it will help to hear others stories/get some advice. I’ve had sad times in my life, nothing terrible though. Up until October last year. I turned 22 and I feel like everything went downward... View more

Hey everyone, I don’t know why I’m posting here, but I think it will help to hear others stories/get some advice. I’ve had sad times in my life, nothing terrible though. Up until October last year. I turned 22 and I feel like everything went downwards, I received a promotion which should have been exciting right? But it wasn’t. I fell into this never ending sadness, I would call in sick to work constantly and all my boss would do was make me feel like crap. We had a sit down and she said “I should just get over it” which lead to me walking out and seeking help from my old boss who took me in with open arms. I started back as a casual at my old store and it didn’t get any better. I was once again told to get over whatever I was upset about, that I’m hardly there anywhere so I have no reason to be sad. I feel like this is all over the place, but my workplace starting making me feel depressed and anxious. When I knew I had work the next day I couldn’t sleep, I’d feel physically ill and when I went to work I couldn’t relax. I knew it was time to look for a new job, so here I am. 5 months into my job seeking journey, I get interviews but I never receive a job offer. My partner doesn’t understand how hard it is for me, he’s always been someone who gets everything handed to him from his dad and has never had to experience the job seeking process. I feel like his family judges me when all I’m doing is my hardest. I feel stupid, and I really do just feel worthless. I had everything once upon a time and now I feel like I have nothing. I had plans to start saving for a house, but all I get is four hours a week from my job.. It feels like it won’t get better. I guess I just need reassurance from someone who is/has been through all of this before.

AnxiousS Uni Anxiety
  • replies: 8

I'm in my first year of uni and finding it really tough. I graduated high school with a good score last year and I've always been one of those people who seemed to have their life all together - I was good at sport, academic, a school leader, had a s... View more

I'm in my first year of uni and finding it really tough. I graduated high school with a good score last year and I've always been one of those people who seemed to have their life all together - I was good at sport, academic, a school leader, had a social life, and had multiple jobs because I wanted to save money. I never had everything together as well as most people thought I did, but I managed at high school - uni has been a different story. Firstly, I'm finding it hard to make new friends and I feel really lonely. I'm outgoing and I'll become friendly with people in my classes, but I just can't seem to make actual friends. Everyone else I know seems to have made friends and I don't know why I can't quite do it. I'm still good friends with people from high school but I want to be able to make other friends and I don't know why I'm finding it so hard. Secondly, I'm really struggling with the academics. I've always been a high achiever and I feel enormous pressure to succeed in my course (which is a very hard course). I'm not enjoying it and I think I want to transfer but I don't know how to explain it to my family especially as we don't really have a discussion about mental health in this way. I've just finished exams and I found myself crying constantly during exams because I was struggling and I think I may have failed, which is something I'm not used to and I'm not handling well. I've been feeling really anxious about my future as well and I think it started with worrying about my career but has spiralled into a fear of never having a family and not having enough money and all these other things and I often struggle to sleep at night due to the stress of it all. I don't really have anyone to talk to at the moment, especially as the only person I every really spoke to about these things was a teacher at high school who I don't see anymore so any help on what I might be able to do would be super helpful

ralfaman I feel nothing
  • replies: 3

Hi , I don't know how and from whom to ask help . I don't feel happy or sad just fear.

Hi , I don't know how and from whom to ask help . I don't feel happy or sad just fear.

Tanye Feeling helpless and frustrated
  • replies: 4

I have trouble discussing mental health with my parents as I feel very guilty when I do so. Around 7 months ago I hit a really low point and tried to open up a bit to my mum. Doing this she promised me that we'd look into a form of counselling. I've ... View more

I have trouble discussing mental health with my parents as I feel very guilty when I do so. Around 7 months ago I hit a really low point and tried to open up a bit to my mum. Doing this she promised me that we'd look into a form of counselling. I've opened up more since then and I've shown interest in recieving counselling more and have been told many times that I will get it. My mum has expressed that it is quite expensive and I have been using coping techniques for some of my problems, but some of my problems I have no what they are or how to cope with them and would like some professional help. I understand counselling is very expensive, so I've tried to just be as patient as I can, and after the birth of my brother I know my mums a little stressed. Despite trying to be understanding, there have been circumstances where I've been feeling like my feelings were being neglected. I've been told counselling is expensive and it will take a little while to get it because of it, but my siblings are often getting new video games or other things they don't need, or we buy dinner multiple times a week despite having food in the house. I've just been feeling a little frustrated that I keep expressing that I feel I need professional help, for it to be said that it's quite expensive, and then have my parents turn around and spend money like this. I feel really guilty for being frustrated because it makes me feel like I'm being a spoilt brat and not thinking about anyone but me, but I'm still getting frustrated. I feel especially bad as my mum took me to the GP and had a short discussion on it, so it was more than nothing. What I want to know is if I'm just being impatient and a spoilt brat or if I have a semi valid reason for being frustrated. If so, does anyone have any tips on how I can talk about it with my mum without seeming like I'm nagging?

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