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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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LilacGirl How do I deal with a fear of failure?
  • replies: 7

Hey everyone, this is my first post on this site and I am a little nervous to be honest so I'm going to apologise in advance for any rambling that may occur. As I'm sure you guessed from the title, I have a major fear of failure that's messing with m... View more

Hey everyone, this is my first post on this site and I am a little nervous to be honest so I'm going to apologise in advance for any rambling that may occur. As I'm sure you guessed from the title, I have a major fear of failure that's messing with my life. I'm 21 and feel like I have achieved nothing since graduating high school. I have dropped out of university so many times; in fact I've never actually completed a semester because every time I feel like I might fail a subject I just drop out before it can get to that point. I don't want to have to deal with the embarrassment of finding out I'm a failure. Ironically, I feel like a failure already because of how many times I've dropped out. I also lack self-discipline. I was able to achieve pretty good grades in school but only because there was always someone hanging over my shoulder forcing me to do my work. Without that I'm completely useless. I am posting this hoping that somebody has dealt with a similar problem and has any advice for me. I considered some form of exposure therapy but I'm not sure how well that would work, or even how I'd go about that. Thank you for the taking the time to read this, hopefully I can reciprocate the favour in some way.

katackisoho I feel like I’m worth nothing anymore
  • replies: 7

Hey everyone, I don’t know why I’m posting here, but I think it will help to hear others stories/get some advice. I’ve had sad times in my life, nothing terrible though. Up until October last year. I turned 22 and I feel like everything went downward... View more

Hey everyone, I don’t know why I’m posting here, but I think it will help to hear others stories/get some advice. I’ve had sad times in my life, nothing terrible though. Up until October last year. I turned 22 and I feel like everything went downwards, I received a promotion which should have been exciting right? But it wasn’t. I fell into this never ending sadness, I would call in sick to work constantly and all my boss would do was make me feel like crap. We had a sit down and she said “I should just get over it” which lead to me walking out and seeking help from my old boss who took me in with open arms. I started back as a casual at my old store and it didn’t get any better. I was once again told to get over whatever I was upset about, that I’m hardly there anywhere so I have no reason to be sad. I feel like this is all over the place, but my workplace starting making me feel depressed and anxious. When I knew I had work the next day I couldn’t sleep, I’d feel physically ill and when I went to work I couldn’t relax. I knew it was time to look for a new job, so here I am. 5 months into my job seeking journey, I get interviews but I never receive a job offer. My partner doesn’t understand how hard it is for me, he’s always been someone who gets everything handed to him from his dad and has never had to experience the job seeking process. I feel like his family judges me when all I’m doing is my hardest. I feel stupid, and I really do just feel worthless. I had everything once upon a time and now I feel like I have nothing. I had plans to start saving for a house, but all I get is four hours a week from my job.. It feels like it won’t get better. I guess I just need reassurance from someone who is/has been through all of this before.

AnxiousS Uni Anxiety
  • replies: 8

I'm in my first year of uni and finding it really tough. I graduated high school with a good score last year and I've always been one of those people who seemed to have their life all together - I was good at sport, academic, a school leader, had a s... View more

I'm in my first year of uni and finding it really tough. I graduated high school with a good score last year and I've always been one of those people who seemed to have their life all together - I was good at sport, academic, a school leader, had a social life, and had multiple jobs because I wanted to save money. I never had everything together as well as most people thought I did, but I managed at high school - uni has been a different story. Firstly, I'm finding it hard to make new friends and I feel really lonely. I'm outgoing and I'll become friendly with people in my classes, but I just can't seem to make actual friends. Everyone else I know seems to have made friends and I don't know why I can't quite do it. I'm still good friends with people from high school but I want to be able to make other friends and I don't know why I'm finding it so hard. Secondly, I'm really struggling with the academics. I've always been a high achiever and I feel enormous pressure to succeed in my course (which is a very hard course). I'm not enjoying it and I think I want to transfer but I don't know how to explain it to my family especially as we don't really have a discussion about mental health in this way. I've just finished exams and I found myself crying constantly during exams because I was struggling and I think I may have failed, which is something I'm not used to and I'm not handling well. I've been feeling really anxious about my future as well and I think it started with worrying about my career but has spiralled into a fear of never having a family and not having enough money and all these other things and I often struggle to sleep at night due to the stress of it all. I don't really have anyone to talk to at the moment, especially as the only person I every really spoke to about these things was a teacher at high school who I don't see anymore so any help on what I might be able to do would be super helpful

ralfaman I feel nothing
  • replies: 3

Hi , I don't know how and from whom to ask help . I don't feel happy or sad just fear.

Hi , I don't know how and from whom to ask help . I don't feel happy or sad just fear.

Tanye Feeling helpless and frustrated
  • replies: 4

I have trouble discussing mental health with my parents as I feel very guilty when I do so. Around 7 months ago I hit a really low point and tried to open up a bit to my mum. Doing this she promised me that we'd look into a form of counselling. I've ... View more

I have trouble discussing mental health with my parents as I feel very guilty when I do so. Around 7 months ago I hit a really low point and tried to open up a bit to my mum. Doing this she promised me that we'd look into a form of counselling. I've opened up more since then and I've shown interest in recieving counselling more and have been told many times that I will get it. My mum has expressed that it is quite expensive and I have been using coping techniques for some of my problems, but some of my problems I have no what they are or how to cope with them and would like some professional help. I understand counselling is very expensive, so I've tried to just be as patient as I can, and after the birth of my brother I know my mums a little stressed. Despite trying to be understanding, there have been circumstances where I've been feeling like my feelings were being neglected. I've been told counselling is expensive and it will take a little while to get it because of it, but my siblings are often getting new video games or other things they don't need, or we buy dinner multiple times a week despite having food in the house. I've just been feeling a little frustrated that I keep expressing that I feel I need professional help, for it to be said that it's quite expensive, and then have my parents turn around and spend money like this. I feel really guilty for being frustrated because it makes me feel like I'm being a spoilt brat and not thinking about anyone but me, but I'm still getting frustrated. I feel especially bad as my mum took me to the GP and had a short discussion on it, so it was more than nothing. What I want to know is if I'm just being impatient and a spoilt brat or if I have a semi valid reason for being frustrated. If so, does anyone have any tips on how I can talk about it with my mum without seeming like I'm nagging?

hellothere12 I need my ex back!
  • replies: 1

My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me 6 months ago. I didn't see it coming and was very very much in love with him. The reasons are still unclear, but he's blaming it all on me. We're in contact a lot but it's never good. He has moved on... View more

My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me 6 months ago. I didn't see it coming and was very very much in love with him. The reasons are still unclear, but he's blaming it all on me. We're in contact a lot but it's never good. He has moved on and got another girlfriend almost instantly, but I'm always contacting him for different reasons. But right now I feel like I need him back. I still love him, even though he's broken me and has said some quite nasty stuff to me. I know that he doesn't love me and doesn't want me in his life at all but I am stuck in this depressed, unhappy place and I cannot get out. I've been seeing a counsellor and stuff but I miss being happy and the person I was. It feels like the only thing that will take me out of this is him. I've had an urge to call him and tell him that I love him and that I would do anything to have him back because I would. I really genuinely love and care about him, as a best friend as well. I wrote him a message about a month back explaining that I loved him still but now I just really, really desperately want him back. He's happy with his new girlfriend, who I'm so so jealous of and upset about whenever I see something about her/them, and out of nowhere he just changed and gave up on us and me. I want a second chance, and I would literally do anything to have him back again. I've tried moving on and getting to know other guys and stuff (and I'm not giving up on moving on), but I'm still in love with someone else and that makes everything so hard. I really love him as a person and he was my best friend, and I can't let him slip away like that without fighting for it. I want to ask him what it will take for him to come back but I know the reality is that he wouldn't. I still have the urge to call and cry to him and *beg* him to come back and I still want to try and make it possible. We had a very honest and genuine relationship and I still feel like I can tell him anything without him judging me or without trying to impress him, which is why I feel this way. I'm not sure what I'm asking - if anyone knows how I can reach out to him and let him know that I would do anything to love him and be with him again, or how I can just move on. I've realised that life is unfair and that we don't always get what we want, which is why I've kind of accepted the fact I might just have to move on (even though I'm finding that so hard). But if he came back I couldn't explain to you how much happier I would be.

Frankie_P Constant third wheel
  • replies: 3

Hi, I am in high school and I do have quite a lot of friends throughout my year but recently I have been feeling very down. I am with this one group of girls and I constantly feel like a third wheel when I am with them. I used to be really close to t... View more

Hi, I am in high school and I do have quite a lot of friends throughout my year but recently I have been feeling very down. I am with this one group of girls and I constantly feel like a third wheel when I am with them. I used to be really close to these two girls who are best friends but while 1/3 of the time it was fun, 2/3s of the time I was feeling left out. Their friendship is also quite toxic so sometimes they'd be in the middle of a fight and because they couldn't talk to each other they'd talk to me, which was great, but when they were friends again I'd go back to being ignored. I do have other friends outside of my group but wherever I look everyone always seems to have a best friend, and Ive always been able to get on with these girls individually but as soon as they're in their pairs I feel left out. It's just simple things that make me feel so inferior; people blocking me off, someone mentioning something I'm not invited to... Maybe I am just sensitive? Anyway, every time this seems to happen I stoop into this mood where I don't feel like talking to anyone and then it just becomes a cycle because I guess my friends think that i am mad at them or that I'm in a bad mood so they don't talk to me either. I guess I should try harder or tell them how I am feeling but I just can't help feeling a strong sense of resent, I feel it almost all the time now. I feel resent at my friend's happiness, accomplishments, recognition. I feel angry when they copy my style or when they pursue things I am passionate about or even when they laugh at a joke I don't know about. Please help, I don't know what to do. Surely these feelings aren't normal.

Hannahw No individualality
  • replies: 1

Hi. I have a twin sister. She is basically the better,smarter, skinner and prettier version of me. She is with me all the time. I don’t like it. I am VERY independent and I don’t like people so having her around 24/7 makes me feel trapped. I’ve told ... View more

Hi. I have a twin sister. She is basically the better,smarter, skinner and prettier version of me. She is with me all the time. I don’t like it. I am VERY independent and I don’t like people so having her around 24/7 makes me feel trapped. I’ve told her to go. To leave me alone but I can’t excape it. She now works at the same place as me. Every person I know gets me and her confused. I have no sense of individuality because no one knows who I am. No one knows the real me. My life is a constant questioning if I was meant to even be here and is my sister the one who my parents wanted.

mellissa health anxiety
  • replies: 2

My physical symptoms are driving me mad, bloating, burping and indigestion. I am constantly focused on my stomach and hypersensitive to it. I have this awful feeling I have a form of the dreaded C!. I have been telling myself its my anxiety but the s... View more

My physical symptoms are driving me mad, bloating, burping and indigestion. I am constantly focused on my stomach and hypersensitive to it. I have this awful feeling I have a form of the dreaded C!. I have been telling myself its my anxiety but the symptoms persist making me feel like there is really is something wrong!

Just_another_guy I love my best friend but she has a boy friend. I'm too scared to talk to her about it.
  • replies: 4

G'day everyone. So I don't really know how to explain this. So I'll try my best not to make this too confusing. I used to live in Dubai when I was little (from about 6-9 years of age) and during my time there my family had built a really good friends... View more

G'day everyone. So I don't really know how to explain this. So I'll try my best not to make this too confusing. I used to live in Dubai when I was little (from about 6-9 years of age) and during my time there my family had built a really good friendship with another and their children became really good friends with my brother and I. I won't reveal her actual name but for the sake of clarity I'll call her 'L'. So L has an older brother and he and I became really good friends for a long time, L and I are the same age and he older brother is 2 years and some change older than me and my brother. They left Dubai about one and a half years before I did and I was really gutted when they did because I had lost my two best friends. We'd always keep in touch and like their family, mine is lucky enough to afford travelling over-seas frequently. And so when ever we had a really big stint of travelling we usually did it with them. She lives in Singapore currently and I live in Victoria so it's quite the distance apart. As of recently however I traveled over-seas with my family and met up with theirs for their dad's 50th. Being the same age as myself, L and I were talking quite a bit. I'm not very confident around girls I fancy but I feel quite comfortable around her since I've known her since I was a little tot. Whilst her brother and all the adults where off drinking we had a good chat and she revealed to me that she had a boy friend. At this point I felt like I was kicked right in the teeth, I'm not one to prophisize myself being together with one certain person and would do anything to make it so like in the movies but I felt a real sense of jealousy, guilt and a whole host of other emotions. It was obvious to her that what she said had hurt as I'm pretty awful at hiding emotions like these but I brushed it off. This guy she's with is completely different to me, he's fit, athletic, charming, not socially awkward and very, very good looking. I'm a nerd, a gamer, I like watching anime and haven't missed an episode of Dragon Ball for the last year. I'm not fit nor am I athletic but I'm certainly not in bad shape per say. I'm arrogant and very selfish since I've never like human interaction and I am in no way shape or form charming, I'm an arsehole. I don't know how I go about laying my cards on the table or, at the very least, telling her about them because it could after all destroy our friend ship. Please help. Sincerely, Just Another Guy.

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