I think I'm in denial about being depressed and my friends dont care.

[Liza_O12]

I struggle to get out of bed every day, I feel sad almost ALL the time and I have Lots of symptoms of a depressed person but I am very good at hiding it. I get to school and I'm a bubbly, funny and happy person who's kind to everyone. That's why I'm still debating whether or not I'm depressed, because I can 'snap out of it' so easily. It's still there, in the back of my mind, but I can push it away.

i don't think it's healthy to hide it the whole time. Recently I had an argument with my friends at school which somehow ended up in me telling them that I have been struggling with feelings of anxiety and depression, which I had never told anyone. It resulted in them saying 'they wish they knew so they could help' but since then, no one has talked to me about it. I'm not even sure they're my real friends anymore. That's why I miss so many days of school, because I don't think I fit in.

sorry if my writing is all over the place, I'm just trying to write how I feel and any advice would be greatly appreciated. Basically, high school sucks and feeling anxious and depressed sucks even more. Writing on this forum is a big step for me, because for a long time I've been debating whether or not how I'm feeling is hormones or something more.

[Pysis]

Hi Liza

im not a proffesonal but it's sound to me like you are depressed just becuase you can hide it dosent mean it's not there I'm the same I can hide my depression and like every things all hunky dory but inside I'm not ok and just becuase you are depressed dosent mean you can't feel some happiness it just tends not to last very long. With depression it is an extream sadness or empty kind of feeling that dosent ever go away while you have it, dose that make sense?

no it's probably not healthy to hide it all the time but it's not something that a lot of people know how to deal with so your friends probably do care about you but it's not something they know how to help you with, if you really want them to help you just try opening up to them a little and see how they react if they are understanding and caring then if you feel up to it keep talking to them about it, but if they act strange and don't know what to say try not to take it personally it's just they don't know what to do.

hang in there ok, I'm sure your friends care about you.

im here if you need to talk as well as a lot of other very nice people.

good luck Nath

[swtpotato]

Hi Liza!

Yes, high school does suck. It's also more difficult to recognise feelings of depression or anxiety, and I feel like more likely to blame ourselves as many people in high school haven't experienced mental illness in friends/family or personally. Looking back at it now (4 years ago) I can tell I was depressed, but I didn't realise I was at the time. I wish I had been more open with my friends about my feelings, as I know now that a lot of them were going through a lot at the same time but we were all too anxious/embarrassed to tell one another.

I would say it is very likely that your friends are not sure what to do about it, and also at that age may be very self-absorbed and there's just not much you can do about that. Starting with sharing your feelings of sadness, which are universally understood, may help. Telling them what you need, like going over for a movie/walk/tea would help them help you. I also find talking about these things on the phone much easier, I am always much more honest.

Try not to overanalyse your feelings too much (I do that, it doesn't help). Stay with them, they may be scary but sadness is natural. There is too much pressure to be happy esp in high school. Things that help me: friends, journalling, yoga, meditation (most helpful so good).

I think what would help most is counselling, even just a school counsellor. I know it can be scary, but this is very normal and they hear about this kind of stuff all the time. They would be able to assess you and empower you to make some life changes.

This is my first post helping others so I hope this is in some way reassuring, I am also very new. I hope you can tell us more about yourself and what you enjoy (or used to) it would be nice to get to know you.

Stay strong! Hope it gets easier soon!

[MsPurple]

Hi Liza and welcome to the BB forums.

It is common for anyone with a mental illness or going through a stressful period to put a mask on to hide how they are feeling. Unfortunately we still have some stigma towards mental health. It is getting better over time however more education is still needed. People don't understand mental health like they do physical health.

Have you looked into maybe talking to a school counsellor? They maybe able to help you through this tough period. Mental illness affects 1 in 4 at some point in their lifetime, however only 20% get help and struggle alone. I struggled alone for ages and I wish I hadn't.

Might I suggest a youth mental health service called headspace. you can find them at www.headspace.org.gov.au I would look into your local headspace and see if it is for you. You can also take advantage of their online services where they have online chat services and you can call someone up for a chat if you like.

I just want you to know you are not alone. I also struggled in high school but tried to avoid it. I eventually got really unwell and my parents got me help which I am thankful for.

MP

[geoff]

hi Liza, welcome to the site, have been able to do the K-10 test it's a test to see if and what level of depression you may have, I suggest doing it a few times but not straight after the other, different times of the day and then let us know what score you get.
You can't keep pretending that everything is supposedly OK, because it's too exhausting and the more you put on a brave face the higher you will fall, but you have to realise that what happens with your friends is that they slowly disappear and lose contact with you.
They do this because they are not sure on what to say to you, and secondly they are self-fish, they don't want to be burdened with trying to provide answers for you, especially when a depressed person doesn't follow through with them or just can't do them.
Do your parents know how you are feeling because they will need to know so that an appointment can be made with a doctor, if you don't want them to know, then perhaps try and involve another family member who is over 18, an aunt, brother, sister or g/mother, because you're only young it needs to be handled now, tomorrow is too late, and please let us know how you get on. Geoff.

[Liza_O12]

Hey, thanks for responding, I really appreciate it.

I get what you mean about it never going away, I'll be doing something and I'll feel happy and then all of a sudden I feel down again...

Maybe you're right about my friends not knowing what to do about it and I will try to open up to them a bit more.

Thanks again

[Liza_O12]

Hi, thanks so much for responding.

I would love for me to be able to talk to my friends about the kind of things that I would like them to do to support me, however I feel like they are a bit less mature than I am and I feel like there's never a good time to talk about it, which sucks!

Thank you for the suggestions, I think I will try out yoga, I've heard from a lot of people that they love it.

I would go and see a school councillor, however the councillors at my school are also teachers and for some weird reason I don't want to talk to them because I feel as though they'd treat me differently if I had a class with them or something (weird, I know). And I don't really know what I would say at counselling because I can't figure out a real reason for me feeling depressed and anxious, so I don't know how they'd help me (also weird, I know).

Your post definitely helped me a lot, thank you so much. The support I have already gotten on this website so far is more than I've ever had 🙂

[Liza_O12]

Hey, thanks a lot for your reply.

I'm worried that if I go and see a councillor that I will have nothing to talk about because I don't know what's causing my depression and anxiety if that makes any sense. I've never been to a councilling session before, so I don't really know what goes on but the whole thing seems pretty daunting.

I'll definitely look into headspace and see if it's for me, thank you for suggesting it.

Thank you so much for your advice, it feels good that I am not alone.

[Liza_O12]

Hi Geoff, thanks for responding.

I have done the K-10 test multiple times and every time I got around 35-high.

I feel like I am preparing myself to drift from my friends because I can't be friends with people who don't care about how I feel.

My parents know that I get anxious some days and they know that I've felt down a lot recently but because I try to hide it all the time, I think they think that it's not as bad as maybe what it actually is.

I will definitely let you know how I'm getting on soon, everyone's kind advice has inspired me to stop pretending that there's nothing wrong and to do something about it.

thanks again

[swtpotato]

Hey Liza,

I definitely understand the weirdness of going to see a school counsellor. I felt pretty anxious my first time, I found it really strange as I wasn't sure what was expected of me or how to go about it. They may ask about your situation - family, friends, how you're finding school, and what you are finding the most difficult. Hopefully it will help you validate your feelings and find ways to move forwards. Sometimes I'll have a session where I don't really learn any new strategies, but just being able to externalise my emotions and thoughts to someone who understands makes me feel a little better. You don't need to have good reasons behind your depression and anxiety, and feeling guilty/ashamed for not being able to get over it is simply part of the depression. It sucks haha. But there are plenty of options out there for help and treatment.

Friends - possibly one on one time? You don't need to spill all of your feelings out at once, but maybe just letting them know what's going on? Like - I've been feeling really shitty, want to make hot chocolate and watch a movie for e.g. If not any of your friends, a family member? Don't worry I know how difficult it is to talk about it!

I also know when I was super depressed, I didn't want people to tell me how I could get better - it made me feel like I was a problem to fix. So I hope you know you aren't alone, and that it is completely okay to feel like this. When you feel like you are ready you can start taking the steps to get help.

This might include: regular sleep schedule, meditation/yoga, healthy diet (eat ur veggies), GP visit - let them know, check iron levels, vitamin d, etc, ask for a mental health care plan (or do this at headspace), it's so easy and they are so professional, ask a friend/family member to come with you, regular exercise (could just start with short walks). Also therapy workbooks are really helpful honestly, it may feel a little embarrassing but it's great to work through and sometimes completely turn my depression around, I just get the top ones from amazon to read on my laptop.

That might be a little overwhelming haha, take from this whatever you want and seems helpful, all just suggestions.

Hope to see you around - good luck! I am sure you will be okay.