I don't know how I feel anymore.

[Kamh]

I'm sorry if this is all over the place, it's my first time posting in these forums. I just recently got diagnosed with depression after struggling with severe anxiety for a few years. Everything has kinda changed the last few weeks though. I can't really feel anything but anxious. I feel numb, and I have no idea how I am. I really hate it, it's scary. My sister said that feeling numb means you are getting better? Is that true? I feel like I'm going to explode, kind of like I have all of this pentup emotion that can't come out. Is this a symptom of anxiety/depression? My mum thinks I don't need counselling anymore because she thinks I'm getting better, but I really don't feel like I'm better. I just feel different. But not in a good way. I still feel like I'm drowning in sadness, but it's not the type of sadness that makes you cry (though I feel like I'm going to, but I can't cry). I'm sorry if I'm not describing it very well. Please tell me if you know what's wrong, or have any idea how to help.

thanks so much!

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

We cant diagnose, neither can gamily members and professional medical people know when you are well enough to stop treatment.

Often depression and anxiety is lifelong. That numb feeling could be anything. Please consult your doctor more regularly.

Here is a few threads you can read that will help you learn about your illness. Google them

Topic: depression, a ship on the high seas- beyondblue

Topic: how I eliminated anxiety- beyondblue

Tony WK

[Pysis]

Hi kam

well everyones experiance is differnt but feeling numb defently dosent mean your getting better it is in my opinion part of depression sometimes and that deep sadness that you describe is defently what depression feels like for me. I would explain to your mum that feeling numb isn't something that you like feeling it is actually quite a horrible feeling. When your depressed sometimes your emotions can be all over the place and it can be very overwhelming and I think that's kind of what your describing like you have a lot of emotions under this numbness that all kind of want to come out at once. Have you gone on any medication sometimes that can change the way you feel in a negative way it's a matter of trying differnt things to find what helps you.

you can always talk on here if you want there are lots of very nice people on here that can try and help the best they can.

Sorry my writing a bit all over the place tonight I'm a bit tierd.

thinking of you

nath

[Kamh]

Hi Pysis,

Thank you so much for replying. I thought being numb didn't mean you were getting better. If anything I feel like it's worse. I tried to explain to my mum that I wasn't better, and what the numness feels like, but she is convinced I'm getting better. You describe how I'm feeling so well! I'm not on medications. My psychologist and doctor gave me a script for antidepressants, and gave me the option on wether I wanted to use it or not. My family likes to do everything naturally, so as much as I want to take them (my mum did say it was ok, but I feel like there would be a lot of judgement), I decided not to. My sister (she's a naturopath) has tried me on a whole lot of herbs, but none have worked. If anything it made me worse.

thank you so much,

K.H

[Pysis]

Hi kam

no problem I just hope I can help in some way. Sometimes I've found that when you are feeling numb people tend to think you doing better becuase your not that sad emotion person you were before you went numb but you are still depressed, I know the numb feeling all to well and sometimes I think it's worse than the deep sadness becuase you do have emotions there but you can't I don't express them or feel them properly at least when your in that sad state you can have a cry or something and it helps a little. I personly would go on anti depressants it is a personal choice but depression isn't really something you can beat on your own very often. My mum is against anti depressants but she can see that they make me better so she's kind of ok with it, really the herbs and natural stuff can help a little but they don't do the same job as anti depressants and going in them dosent mean your on the, for ever you might only be on them for a little while until you can get back on your feet. It's about you and no one else at the moment it's your emotions and it's your life so if antidepressants hell you than that's what matters don't worry about your family.

the reason you feel like I can describe how your feeling so well is becuase I've been through it myself and still am going through it so your not alone there are plenty of people feeling exactly how you are. Hope your ok.

im here if you need to talk.

Nath

[Kamh]

Hi Pysis,

You are helping a lot, thank you. Yes, I agree. When you are numb it's not as noticeable as when you are a sad emotional mess. When you are numb it's hard because you know what you should be feeling, and I don't know about you, but it makes me feel very unconnected from the word.i guess you are right, no matter how hard I try, I, not going to beat the depression on my own. I'll be 18 in Dec so I will be able to do what I want with dealing with my depression. I'm really thinking I will try the antidepressants. Did you find the right one for you the first time? Or did you have to try multiple?

Do you find that everything's looks fake to you? Kind of like everything is 2D, and doesn't really exist?

I hope you are doing ok!

Thank ni you so much,

K.H

[Pysis]

Hi kam

im glad I'm helping you in some way sometimes I worry I'm not helping anyone at all. You can just call me Nath if you want that's what most people call me.😃

You said that your mum was ok with you taking antidepressants and if that's the case I would sujest going on them as soon as you can they really do help a lot, you really don't sound like your that bad even though it might not feel that way and your writing is nice and cositant so you can think ok even if it might be a little difficult sometimes so you probably wouldn't be on anything to strong but that's up to your doctor. Um yeah I pretty much found somthing that worked straight away it took a long time to kick in but once it did it really helped mines a fluoxetine hydrochloride based medication it's not overly strong but it dose the job but you could be completely differnt it's up to your doctor.

Um sometimes it feels like I'm kind of just living in a movie or something and I don't actually have controle over anything and everything's fake but I'm better now now than I was and I don't have as many days like that.

thinking of you

Nath