I think I'm in denial about being depressed and my friends dont care.

[Liza_O12]

I struggle to get out of bed every day, I feel sad almost ALL the time and I have Lots of symptoms of a depressed person but I am very good at hiding it. I get to school and I'm a bubbly, funny and happy person who's kind to everyone. That's why I'm still debating whether or not I'm depressed, because I can 'snap out of it' so easily. It's still there, in the back of my mind, but I can push it away.

i don't think it's healthy to hide it the whole time. Recently I had an argument with my friends at school which somehow ended up in me telling them that I have been struggling with feelings of anxiety and depression, which I had never told anyone. It resulted in them saying 'they wish they knew so they could help' but since then, no one has talked to me about it. I'm not even sure they're my real friends anymore. That's why I miss so many days of school, because I don't think I fit in.

sorry if my writing is all over the place, I'm just trying to write how I feel and any advice would be greatly appreciated. Basically, high school sucks and feeling anxious and depressed sucks even more. Writing on this forum is a big step for me, because for a long time I've been debating whether or not how I'm feeling is hormones or something more.

[Liza_O12]

Thank you so much for your help. I really appreciate it and will definitely take your advice on board.

[Pysis]

Hi liza

with your friends I agree with swypotato this is something that can be very overwhelming so if you go and tell them all at once that your depressed that can scare them, start by telling them about emotions your feeling that they can relate to, sad, emotional ect and then slowly tell them what that means at the moment. I'm sure that they care about you but like I said just have no idea how to help you or understand. My best friend hasn't got any idea how to help me and I'm ok with that at first when my depression was really bad I just thought it was becuase she didn't care about me but really that was my depression talking, she is like my family and that will never change but she jaunt dosent know how to be here for me at the moment, so don't take it personally if even after you open up to you they still don't try and help you it's probably just becuase they don't know how.

i can understand being worried about going to the school counsellors and really I think you should go see a gp and ask to be referred to a physiologist this dosnt mean there is something wrong with you it just mean that your going through a rough patch and need just a little help getting through. Don't worry about not knowing the reason why your feeling this way a physiologist will be able to help you understand and figure it out and sometimes there isn't any real reason it's just how you feel at the moment and that's just how depression works.

good luck Liza

nath

[Liza_O12]

Hi Nath,

thanks so much for your advice, I have definitely taken it on board and I really appreciate your help.

[Pysis]

No problem liza

you should check out the thread, join our circle of friendship and suport in social threads

it's just where some of us talk and get to know each other if you want to of course.

There are a lot of good people on here that can offer you suport. I've only been on here a week and I've found it helpful.

anyway I'm here if you need to talk.

nath

[Pysis]

Hi Liza how are you going?

[Cesca1557]

Hi Liza,
well done for reaching out! you have definitely come to the right place 🙂
yes high school can suck at times and feeling anxious and depressed definitely does suck even more

I can identify with so many things that you have said and are going through! From what you have said, it does sound like you have some level of depression, being skilled at hiding it doesnt mean its not there.
Its what I like to call 'functional depression'. Where you are able to put on a mask and have laugh and talk with friends, go to work and act normally, study and do well at school but when you get home, everything can sort of just fall apart and thats when the sadness or emptiness hits. It is what I have as well.
It can be easy to think that you are okay, or atleast managing because you are still able to interact with friends and family almost as if nothing is wrong.

I can tell you first hand that it is not healthy to hide it. Ive had depression for around 7 years and have only recently decided that I need to try everything i possibly can to get better now (including taking Antidepressants), as im not happy with just getting through each day and being happy most of the time when im with friends but then being a mess when im on my own.

Please dont do what I did and wait so long thinking that you can handle it on your own, or thinking you are okay and dont need the help. Have you thought about seeing a psychologist? or talking to your GP about it?
I also know what its like to not feel like your friends understand, i have one or two friends who have also gone through a lot that I do feel comfortable talking to about my depression and anxiety, but most of my other friends either dont know the extent of it, or dont know there is anything wrong at all. Its hard because when they havent been through anything themselves, its hard for them to know what to say or do.

i know its hard, but try not to put too much pressure on them not saying or doing the right thing. i know its hard on you because you need their support more than ever, but im sure they really do love you, they might not know what to do.
how have you been since you first posted this thread?
always here if you need to talk

cesca

[Liza_O12]

Hi, I'm going pretty well I think. I decided to talk to my mum about what I'm going through and she took me to my GP who referred me to a psychologist, who I'm seeing tomorrow. I'm pretty nervous to go because I don't know what I'm going to say but I know that it will benefit me.

Thank you for checking up on me!

[Liza_O12]

Hi Cesca, thanks for responding.

I feel like you read my mind! It feels good to know that others can relate to what's happening to me.

Recently, I spoke to my mum about what's happening and we went to the GP and she referred me to a psychologist. I feel like ive gone from ignoring my problem to fixing it very quickly and I am proud of myself for doing that.

Thank you for supporting me, I really appreciate it and good luck to you as well.

Liza

[Cesca1557]

Hi liza,

so glad to you took that positive step so quickly and spoke to your mum about it! talking through everything will definitley help

theres a really good article on themighty.com called 'What Are the Signs of 'High-Functioning' Depression and Could You Have It?' which is definitley worth a read if you have the time

[Cesca1557]

oh and good luck for the psychologist appointment! it can be hard not knowing where to start but the most important part is that you are starting