I'm beginning to dislike my friends

[McarP]

I've recently left school and have started at university. Lately I've been feeling more and more distanced from my high school friends, which I know is a common occurrence. I have made some friends at uni, but none I'd consider to be good friends or people that I can discuss these sorts of things with.

The thing is, I've started to feel something like hate towards my friends - especially to my best friend. I'm growing increasingly intolerant of them, and am talking with them less and less. Every time I do have a chat with them I feel agitated and angry, almost frustrated. When I'm with my friends I'm extremely irritable.

 I've always enjoyed my own company, but I'm starting to feel increasingly lonely. Which is funny, because I'm the one pushing them away! 

 I know something as trivial as this probably belongs in a teen magazine advice column, but I figured I'd throw it out there to see if any other people have dealt with the same issue and have any advice.

Thanks,

🙂

[morgs29]

Hi McarP,

Welcome and thanks for sharing. I think this is a feeling everyone has experienced at some stage. Following on from White Knight's sage insights, it might be an idea to just take a step back and see what happens.

I'm 27 now and I have been through this feeling many times with groups of friends I've had. I've come to learn that's it's completely okay and normal to drift from people, especially if they are frustrating you. If they are meant to be a friend for life, I promise you that you will both make the effort to continue rekindling the friendship.

Let those feelings you have come up and just acknowledge them. It's great that you've reached out for clarity.

Take care,

Morgan

[McarP]

Wow! Thanks so much every one, the response to this has been awesome!

I've definitely taken everyone's advice: put my feet up and am floating downstream! After distancing myself from a few people I've found myself a lot more relaxed, and I'm doing a couple of things like meditation etc to try and become a little less closed-minded 🙂

I've connected with a few people from uni and have been hanging out with them a bit. I think it definitely helps to just remember that life goes on and everything will be ok! The friends that matter will still be there!

It's reassuring to know that so many people have been through the same thing and have pulled up ok.

Again, thanks heaps. Hopefully this post can be a big help for others who are looking for a bit of advice with this issue!

Mad

xx

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi McarP,

Thanks for reaching out to BB.  Friends are definitely tricky business!  They are hard to make, hard to keep and hard to let go from.  What's important though, is that you can start to recognise when maybe some of those relationships aren't healthy (when you aren't yourself and really disliking them).  

I heard this quote once that said 'friends are for a reason, a season or a lifetime', and that really sticks true to me.  It's okay if you want to let go of your friends - it doesn't have to be purposeful (e.g. "go away") but it can be you spending more time with people who you enjoy hanging out with (like your uni friends) and seeing where that goes.

🙂

[shad0wings]

Hi McarP!

As many people have been saying, school relationships are different to outside ones. With school you all have the same things in common, studying, grades, teachers, subjects, etc. And as such you bond over those things. Seeing eachother all week and then even hanging out with them after school makes for very strong relationships. 

It is when you start to grow as an individual that you start to see things in yourself, and your friends that you do not necessarily connect with. I assure you this is normal, I've recently gone through the exact same thing. It does not mean you are a bad person, or your friend is a bad person - it just means you both have matured into young adults and your paths do not necessarily cross. 

You are probably getting agitated by them because you may find the topics they are talking about do not relate with you. It is constantly a struggle to be in relationships with people where this is consistently happening. It is extremely difficult to form relationships with people when you cannot connect with them.

Try to expand your circles and meet more people, you will be surprised with how many people share the same interests as you! 

It's a big world out there, trust me - you fit right in. 

~ Taylor