I'm always so angry with anything and everything in life

[Exambolor]

This is my first post so hello.

I'm having this issue lately when I seem to get angry at anyone and anything around me and I don't know how to fix it.

Everything never seems to work in my favour for some reason and it drives me up the wall.

I'm also having a hard time at University because I don't feel that I can fit in with the stereotypical personalities and that I feel I'm an outcast.

I dont know what to do.

thanks for reading

[swtpotato]

Hello Exambolor,

I think it's great you have reached out for help here - welcome to the forums!

I am 22 and also at university and have been struggling with anxiety and depression, I get the feeling of being an outcast.

Do you feel guilty/hopeless/anxious as well as being angry?

I have felt really irritable when my mental health gets out of hand, but it is pretty rare for me I usually get more sad than angry but everyone reacts differently. I usually write down what I am feeling, go for a walk/exercise, and then come back once I have calmed down to rethink the situation - try to think about the anger separate from the situation/person that caused it and try not to act on it.

Anger is tough as I believe it distances you more from others than other symptoms of depression, and can lead you to further withdraw yourself.

You do know somewhat what to do - you posted here! Meaning you'd like to get some kind of help. Talking to a uni counsellor would be a great first step -- they are free and very understanding. Your uni will probably have drop in appointments too - just check. Getting the issue out into the world helps so much. From there you can decide if you want to get a mental health care plan with a GP and see a psychologist. You don't need to wait for things to get worse before you get treatment, you deserve help.

You are certainly not alone in feeling like an outcast, or in feeling overwhelmed. Uni is overwhelming. I don't think you need to 'fit in' with the stereotypical personalities - you may feel like that is most people because they are the loudest, or act in a certain way when together or at a party. They are all different with unique personalities when you look closer but it is okay to feel like you don't click with certain people. That's fine, you definitely will with others.

What are you studying? Do you like it? Do you have support in your friends and family?

Hope to talk soon

- m

[White_Rose]

Dear Exambolor

Hello, welcome to Beyond Blue. I agree that being angry, cranky, ticked off and all the other words meaning you are simply fed up can be a worry.

Is this your first year in uni? It can be overwhelming and frustrating. I went to uni part time in my forties and initially struggled with the whole concept. I had lots to manage. Four children, full time job and most of all fitting in to the uni and finding out how it all worked. Well I got through it I am happy to say and enjoyed it very much.

I find myself getting angry and upset when I am in a new situation and not sure what to do. Sometimes I think it's a bit like a panic attack. Not a huge, full on attack, only a mini panic and being nervous and all the hormones etc that kick in with a panic attack. I wonder if that is how you feel. Uni is so very different from school and it seemed to me that everyone knew what was going on, where they should be and all the bits that help us to relax in this new place.

For me, I think it's a defence mechanism because I don't want to appear lost or unsure and even scared at times. This may be the same effect for you even though the circumstances are different. You are an independent person and want to manage your life in the way you think best and I suspect it sometimes clashes with the expectations of others. Not necessarily because you are expected to change but because others are equally certain they do not want to change.

Does this resonate with you? Being different can feel like an outcast at times. Why do you think/act/speak in that fashion may very well be the unasked question. It's always hard swimming against the tide.

I gather this kind of reaction, being a bit cranky, is also operating in other parts of your life. Could there be a similar situation where you are unsure of yourself? Nothing like a bit of uncertainty to trigger that response. The unfortunate part is staying in this mood. Not having having enough time to get over one upset before you are faced with another. Subsequent situations may not normally upset you but there is enough tension from before to keep you in that cranky mood.

At the risk of sounding like a grandma, which I am, you are now an adult sometimes wanting to be a child again. Well that's not going to happen and if it did you would become angry no one treated you as an adult.

Are you sleeping well, you know all the grandma questions? It may be worth a trip to your GP for a check up. Please post again.

Mary

[geoff]

hello Exambolor, because you feel as though you can't fit in is always sad, as it makes you feel as you are on the outer at uni, so it's natural to get angry at them, that's your defence mechanism kicking in, it's your way to protect yourself from any more harm or exclusion, you can't let anyone in because you feel unsafe and sort of telling them to go away, simply because they may have rejected you.
When I was at college in Caulfield for 3 years I hated every moment of it, because I had people who I spoke to, but they weren't people who I invited out or to come home, and I wasn't in any group, I just wanted to get to class and then go home, what I should have done was defer the course and get a job, that's what I originally wanted to do, but my parents wanted all the children to have some qualification, now in hindsight I should have followed my dream, leave college and get some work, my qualification means absolutely nothing these days, so it was a wasted three years. Geoff.

[White_Rose]

Hello Exambolor

How are you going? Were any of the answers useful to you? It would be great if you dropped and continued to chat with us. I hope all is well.

Mary

[Lascrea]

Hey, Exambolor

I second your entire post. I'm always sad, angry, and overall emotional. It sometimes feels like the world is against me and is trying its best to (how do I say this without offending the moderators) beat me down. All the people I've met in this first year of uni have been absolute disappointments, and I can't fit in with any group or get along with anyone. I feel lonely and crave company but everyone I've met, apart from my family and my dogs, have been bad company, so I also want to just give up on a social life altogether and focus on finishing my 6-year long course alone.

It's comforting to know other people feel the same.