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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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Rarity Anxiety, Depression and my breaks from reality.
  • replies: 3

Hello, I am a male and am 16 years old. I am currently a student. This is my story of what I believe to be my psychosis, my anxiety and my depression. When I was 9 years old, I experienced something that I had thought nothing of at the time. It was a... View more

Hello, I am a male and am 16 years old. I am currently a student. This is my story of what I believe to be my psychosis, my anxiety and my depression. When I was 9 years old, I experienced something that I had thought nothing of at the time. It was a red dot, I saw this red dot everywhere I went, it was like an invisible man was following me with a laser pointer everywhere I went. As I grew older I began to feel unnerved and scared of this red dot, I often found myself scared, huddled up in my room if I saw it in the house, I preferred to be in wide open spaces with a lot of people where I knew that nothing could hurt me because other people would see it. This has now changed. The red dot as I have progressed through adolescence has morphed into a shadowy figure, i find it hard to complete simple tasks because I am scared of this figure. I can't walk my dog, or go outside for long periods of time because I always see it and get frightened. I see it out of the corner of my eye, and I hear it. At least I think I hear it, commonly when I look around, things are not there, I hear clapping to my right and I will look, and I will be facing a wall. These moments have made my dreams feel real, I begin to question if things really happened and am confused about my perceptions on reality. I have been having these breaks from reality since I was 9. I am scared of my family and the people around me because I think they will hurt me. If I get in a verbal fight with someone, I will find myself gripping onto a blunt object, a bat or something or other at night and sleeping with it in my bed in case they come to hurt me or it comes to hurt me. This has driven me over the edge of sanity, more frequently, as I have grown older I have begun to question what is really real and what is not. I get blinding headaches occasionally but no one is ever there to help because I am always hiding in my room away from my family. Recently, my family has left my home, my mother has flown away to look after my grandma, my dad works full-time and my sister goes to University throughout the day, leaving me completely on my own with the voices in my head. I am stuck in an internal conflict with myself and do not know what is wrong with me, I am scared of what is to come as this develops and I have no idea what to do. I am hoping someone has experienced these events before and is able to give me some advice on what they have done to combat this. No one I know, knows about my "condition". - R

Exambolor I'm always so angry with anything and everything in life
  • replies: 5

This is my first post so hello. I'm having this issue lately when I seem to get angry at anyone and anything around me and I don't know how to fix it. Everything never seems to work in my favour for some reason and it drives me up the wall. I'm also ... View more

This is my first post so hello. I'm having this issue lately when I seem to get angry at anyone and anything around me and I don't know how to fix it. Everything never seems to work in my favour for some reason and it drives me up the wall. I'm also having a hard time at University because I don't feel that I can fit in with the stereotypical personalities and that I feel I'm an outcast. I dont know what to do. thanks for reading

ham01 I have no reason to always be angry and depressed.
  • replies: 1

Hi all, I'm a young guy always mad and depressed about little things. I don't know why though. I know I come from a good home and that my parents love me, even though I fight with my mum all the time. I go to a really good school. I really want to ge... View more

Hi all, I'm a young guy always mad and depressed about little things. I don't know why though. I know I come from a good home and that my parents love me, even though I fight with my mum all the time. I go to a really good school. I really want to get rid of my anger/depression issues because i have started to notice a drop in my grades and I'm about to head into VCE and i really want to get good results. I want some advice on how to get rid of these problems. Thanks guys.

OBJ13 My first girlfriend broke up with me, but its so confusing
  • replies: 8

Hi. 18 year old male. My girlfriend of 11 months who is 17 broke up with last friday and ive been an absolute mess. The situation doesnt make sense to me. Like she told me it was because it didnt feel the same as when we first started dating and said... View more

Hi. 18 year old male. My girlfriend of 11 months who is 17 broke up with last friday and ive been an absolute mess. The situation doesnt make sense to me. Like she told me it was because it didnt feel the same as when we first started dating and said she couldnt see us together anymore. This was such a shock to me as all the times we were together she was really happy and so was i. Im a great guy ive always been considerate , polite and caring and all that. We never fought about anything to serious only little silly stuff. And she said that me and her could still be good friends and catch up and that i could call her if i ever need anything and i said the same too. It just doesnt make sense as she was saying that she hates herself for making the decision as she knows im a great guy. The day we broke up we spent all day hugging eachother and crying because we were both so upset. By the end of the day me and her went and got some food to cheer us up abit and that car ride felt like nothing was even happening. When i dropped her back i have her the biggest hug and we even had one last proper kiss. And as i left she was saying that its not a good bye but a see ya later. I know she cares about me still and has love for me because i could see that in our phone all a few days later. So me and her are meeting up tomorrow for a chat because we were to upset on the day she broke it off to really explain things. Im so nervous to see her tomorrow because im just so afraid of the fact ill never get to be with her again. Its so much harder because shes my first love and i am hers too. She is finishing grade 12 soon so i thought maybe shes just abit confused in life atm. I really do love her and i know you hear that all the time with first loves but it just doesnt seem real and im just confused as she said ive done nothing wrong and its just her feelings. She did say a while back that dating would be easier after she leaves school. But im just finding it hard to be without her. Before i met her i was abit of a loner and only really played sport and worked out and when i met her it felt amazing and she helped me alot getting through graduating high school. And she really just made me so happy and she told me that id made her so happy and that she couldnt believe she found such a great guy. So thats why im really confused and upset. Like we dont hate eachother or nothing were on really good terms and still gonna be in eachothers lives and be there for eachother

imogen56 I can't force myself to buy anything?
  • replies: 4

For some reason when I go shopping I NEVER buy anything! Even though I know I want it, there's always a part of me that hesitates and makes excuses to not buy it. When I don't buy something I get frustrated because this is a problem I've tried to dea... View more

For some reason when I go shopping I NEVER buy anything! Even though I know I want it, there's always a part of me that hesitates and makes excuses to not buy it. When I don't buy something I get frustrated because this is a problem I've tried to deal with forever. But when I buy something I get frustrated still because 'how can I be sure this is what I want' and 'I don't need it' and 'there could've been something cheaper and better to buy'. (I am also very indecisive and I overthink things a lot on a day to day basis). I don't know why I'm like this and I have no idea what to do! I think it's some sort of anxiety thing?? Can someone please tell me what the heck is going on and how to fix this. Thanks

Kkgirl Inability to move on from someone = sacrificing study and other friendships?
  • replies: 5

apologies this is really long... So I was in an intimate relationship with a guy who was my best friend for years before that. (Things were a little rocky with me having anxiety issues and him wanting to keep our relationship a secret.) but we were h... View more

apologies this is really long... So I was in an intimate relationship with a guy who was my best friend for years before that. (Things were a little rocky with me having anxiety issues and him wanting to keep our relationship a secret.) but we were happy overall. At the very end of last year an old friend of ours, who had moved far away, contacts him out of the blue, and bam he leaves me for an "official" public relationship with her, a girl who's much prettier, nicer and he's not at all ashamed for people to know they're together. Despite that we decided to put our friendship first, and stay best friends while he was in this new relationship...but of course I was hurt about him ending our relationship, treating her much better, and losing interest in our friendship, which caused me to hate myself, be angry with him and complain a lot... and the situation combined with other pressures in my life lead me to spiral into depression, he said he'd be there for me as I sought professional help, but it wasn't long until he'd had enough of me constantly reaching out for his support, and he blocked contact with me completely.. This happened 6 months ago, and I still don't know why he did that. Ignoring advice from my friends and counsellor to move on, every few weeks or so I've tried to contact him in any way I can, to try and rekindle our friendship, or ask why he cut me off, but I never got more than being called a psycho in response. My persistence has caused even my group of friends to turn against me, and I regret every time I try contacting him, but I do it anyways hoping for a better response each time. Also it's the worst timing since we're finishing yr12 yes, it all happened so long ago but I still refuse to move on from this person. I'm stuck with: Being jealous that he and his new girlfriend are living the perfect life while I'm alone thinking about how good things should've and could've and should've been with him, and thinking of what I could've done differently to not be in this situation just genuinely missing our friendship, after being best friends for so long, I don't want to lose him forever, and I want to find a way to get to talk to to him before we graduate in 2 weeks.. these lead to a chain reaction of different thoughts, every time I try studying or do activities I enjoy, and the only way to distract myself is sleep. I need to turn things around for the HSC but I feel like there no point unless I rebuild that friendship first..any advice?

Saucy_Pasta Feeling like a dissapointment, a letdown, and just all around worthless
  • replies: 1

Hey everyone. I just can't motivate myself to do anything anymore. I'm failing at uni, at a course in a subject I loved, because everything just feels too hard and I can't bring myself to get out of bed. I was diagnosed with depression this June and ... View more

Hey everyone. I just can't motivate myself to do anything anymore. I'm failing at uni, at a course in a subject I loved, because everything just feels too hard and I can't bring myself to get out of bed. I was diagnosed with depression this June and put on meds. However I just feel like everything's too hard for me. I feel like I'm a dissapointment to my family and friends. My family wants me to do well, and I love them, but I can't bear talking to them now for fear of hearing "do your best in your course". I can't bear telling them just how far I've sunk. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 6 months now, and we've been best friends before that for about 2 years. She's been my main confidant and my source of relief and happiness, but she's suffering from depression too. She works much harder than I, and I feel like a letdown and a dissapointment to her. She's tried her best to help me, and yet I'm still a sorry sack of sadness. I really just feel guilty for being alive and yet not living up to everyone's expectations. I don't know what to do anymore, I feel like a failure. I used to be able to do tasks presented to me without much problems, but now it's a huge stress just to show up to class. I can't count the numerous times I've just curled up in my girlfriend's arms repeating "I'm sorry I'm alive." I just wish I could function again as a person so I can support her and make her happy. I feel tired of everything, guilty about everything, and it's taking it's toll on me. I've seen numerous posts on depression, and I know most have it much worse than I do. I 'm sorry I feel this way, I really do. But I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm sorry for the rant.

oceanlab Apathy
  • replies: 1

I just can't bring myself to study anymore. I've skipped classes for the last month or more and am risking failure from attendance hurdles. I've neglected assignments and chosen to play video games instead. I was on track for graduating this semester... View more

I just can't bring myself to study anymore. I've skipped classes for the last month or more and am risking failure from attendance hurdles. I've neglected assignments and chosen to play video games instead. I was on track for graduating this semester, but with how things are I will definitely fail a few subjects. I don't know what to do anymore. My peers all seem to be motivated in their endeavors, whilst I am struggling with apathy and a lack of motivation. I have no future plans to study post-graduation, and no career ambitions. It is unlikely that I'll be able to hold a full-time job, given how much I struggle with my current part-time work. I just wish I had the drive to do things like normal people seem to do. Instead, I end up oversleeping and staying in bed, neglecting my responsibilities. Life just isn't for me. - end vent -

JitteryBug Best friend of 11 years consumed by depression and anxiety
  • replies: 4

Hi there... I have been best friends with this girl since year 1 and we're both in year 10 now. We are basically sisters. I would do anything for her and could never imagine my life without her. I've been gradually watching her, years after year, be ... View more

Hi there... I have been best friends with this girl since year 1 and we're both in year 10 now. We are basically sisters. I would do anything for her and could never imagine my life without her. I've been gradually watching her, years after year, be slowly overtaken by her anxiety which was then followed by depression. She eats sporadically, some days will eat almost nothing, others she will eat a little closer to normal, gets in moods where she won't talk to anyone for the entire day, and more recently has skipped almost a week of school because of how depressed she was. I feel so helpless. I feel like all I can do is watch as she slowly loses herself. I've tried so many times to help. I try so hard to be there for her, but often I'm sobbing while texting her because we've gotten into an argument or she's lashing out (it's never really aimed at me personally and we always fix things, but when she gets into moods it's horrible) I've suggested she go to her old counsellor ("No, I hate her"), that she see the college counsellors ("I don't even know them!), tried to suggest just regular teachers, go on this website or the forums ("They don't work") my parents and her own. She won't talk to her own because her mum is currently very depressed (it's genetic. All women on both sides of the family have suffered) and so she doesn't want to worry her or give her dad any more to worry about. Her boyfriend and I often talk and we're both so worried. We were just talking about possibly going to the school counselors together for advice. I'm just so worried. I have anxiety myself (nowhere near the level she has, luckily) and so I worry about literally everything. This is literally haunting my every waking moment. Please help me to help her!! I don't want to lose her!

Miss_Rosie Holding down a job with Depression
  • replies: 2

Hey everyone, this is my first post with Beyond Blue and I'm a bit nervous! I wanted to seek out some support for an issue I've been facing for quite a while now. I got my first job at the beginning of 2016, in a cafe. The job was fine, but eventuall... View more

Hey everyone, this is my first post with Beyond Blue and I'm a bit nervous! I wanted to seek out some support for an issue I've been facing for quite a while now. I got my first job at the beginning of 2016, in a cafe. The job was fine, but eventually I became so depressed, anxious and stressed that I would call in sick regularly, lie about why I couldn't come to work, and even get to the point where I would pretend I was going to work, to fool my family. I ended up quitting via email one Saturday morning when I had a panic attack and didn't want to ever go back. NOTHING to do with the workplace - everything to do with me, and not being able to cope. Fast forward to now, September 2017. I've been at my current retail job for 11 months, and the same thing is happening. Today I called in sick with "gastro" but really I just could not pass the mental barrier to get to work. All I think about is quitting, and I know I'm frustrating my employers. But I really need to money to pay my rent and petrol. I'm beginning to worry that I will be fired. I honestly just don't think I can handle working at the moment. Has anyone else experienced this? What do I do? I care about my company and I'm not a lazy person, I'm just genuinely so broken in my head that I'm finding it virtually impossible to pull myself together and be "normal". Will this ever get better? Should I quit before I'm fired? for reference, I'm a 19 year old female living out of home. Thank you

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