I don’t know how to get help

[Brooklyn20]

Ok here’s the thing. I’ve always been deppressed when I was younger I did see someone but my mum was in charge of that because I was so young she didn’t believe I had a problem so pulled me out. Anyway. I’m 20 and worse then ever I’ve been using a mix of over the counter drugs and stealing prescription stuff from my boyfriends mum. I don’t wanna ruin my life I just lik the feeling of being knocked out so I don’t have to deal. What I’m trying to say is I wanna talk to someone but I don’t wanna see my gp I’m scared I just want to see a phschologist but idk if I can idk help

[swtpotato]

Hey Brooklyn,

welcome to bb 🙂

I am 22 with a history of depression and anxiety so might be able to relate.

I know that feeling you have about wanting life to pass. It is like, if I go to 'sleep' maybe when I wake up it will be over, though I know you know that's not how it works.

Are you working or studying atm? Do you feel you've had some kind of depression for as long as you can remember?

Why is it that you would see a psychologist and not a gp? It is really scary but seeing as you have posted here it looks like you are determined to get help. Going to a gp is the first step as they can refer you to a psychologist and/or prescribe medication. What I did was ask my friends if they liked their gp and if they had experience treating mental health issues, and then booked the one that seemed the nicest even though she was far away. They have seen it all I am sure.

But I definitely hear your reluctance. It took me agess to even admit to myself that I had depression, let alone tell someone and go to a gp. Do you have anyone you're close to that you can talk to about this?

It seems like you've had a really rough few years. It would've taken a lot to get through it all, but you can keep going and pull through. Even if you feel like you've fallen too far, you can always make it back. I have recently proved this to myself after months of therapy and medication -- life feels open and ok. This is possible.

Talk about whatever you want here, it is your space and we are hear to listen and support you. You will not be judged for anything. If you'd like to tell us more about you and what you are dealing with then we could help you more.

Also maybe just a little about yourself? Is there anything in your life (or has their previously been) that you enjoy/inspires you?

It is good to meet you! I hope you find the forums useful.

m

[Brooklyn20]

I work as a support worker ina group home which is ironic because I think I’m the one that needs support right now. I feel like my gp wouldn’t take me seriously even tho she’s amazing I think she might think it’s not a real illness I’m over reacting.

i consider myself to be successful career wise I’m happy I’m meant to be the good girl in my family now the rest of my family are just abysivw towards each other. I took codiene once after surgery and was hooked I only have two left and I’m to scared to take them because then I know it’s over so that’s why iv been taking other people’s persecution s.

i like to talk to people here because it makes me feel like people care

[White_Rose]

Dear Brooklyn

Hello. It's good to meet you. If you have looked around the forum a little you will know there are many other people in a similar position to you. Depression doesn't care who it attacks and it seems there is no rhyme or reason why.

You say your GP is amazing so she must be doing something right. You know doctors are not paid to ignore illnesses. Your GP is just the same. She will take you seriously, I can guarantee that. So would you book a long appointment with her. Copy your posts above, or the whole thread, and print it to show your GP. You have been quite open about yourself and this is what your GP needs to be able to help you.

You know taking any medication that is not prescribed for you can have unfortunate effects on you. Here you are holding on to some meds and stealing others. This is not good. So please go and talk to your GP and come back here to tell us what you are going to do next.

My dear, I want to reach out and hold your hand, but of course that's not possible. Instead I can write to you as much as you wish but I cannot make you well again. You are the only person who can do this and your best help will be from your GP.

We care about you very much and want the best life you can get. You have a job you enjoy. Do you think you can continue in this way? Taking pills to knock yourself out may seem to be the answer to your problems, but every time you wake up the problem is still there. You run a very serious risk of damaging yourself in a big way.

I don't write this to hurt you or tell you off or anything of that nature. I watched my brother become addicted to drugs and it was not nice. If I can help you to avoid this I will. Pleas talk to your GP.

Mary