Struggling with happiness, motivation, and the ability to concentrate

Cesca1557 · ‎23-08-2017

Hi,

Ive never posted on a forum before but i thought it would be a good way to vent and ask for a few tips.
Ive had depression and anxiety for almost 7 years now but throughout all the years Ive always managed to keep my motivation levels towards studying at either high school or university high. However the past two weeks I have really struggled to get out of bed to do the work that I need to do, and when I am listening to the lectures or beginning to write out notes or memorise content, I find myself zoning out or losing focus really easily. I have a lot of assessments and tests next week so usually this would be the time where I would ramp up study so that I could cram in everything I need to know by then, but I cant seem to concentrate for long enough to do what I need to do.

The last few weeks have been average to say the least, ive been feeling very empty and numb at times and I sometimes cry multiple times a day. A lot of different things have been hitting me recently and I have been struggling to deal with it all. I have a psychologist appointment in a week and a half but I just dont know what to do in the mean time.

MsPurple · ‎23-08-2017

HI Cesca and welcome to the BB forums 🙂

There is a new forum on studying while dealing with a mental illness. It has tips on how to manage. I suggest checking it out. Copy and paste this link to find it https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/young-people/eeep-when-study-is-overwhelming---tips-ideas-and-coping-strategies

Sounds like you have gotten a little worse recently in your anxiety and depression. I know how you feel as I have been in a similar boat recently. I decided to to talk to my GP about it. We looked into my medication and made a plan for it if it continues. I also have a psychologist appointment in the next two weeks (haven't been able to go for a while due to lack of funds). I also asked if I could get my iron levels checked as I know they have been low in the past. I got my results saying that I am iron deficient. I usually have ok iron levels but on the lower side of ok, but I wasn't expecting to be deficient (probably caused by increase in exercise and dairy intake with iron rich foods). I suggest asking your dr if you could get your iron levels check or ask to make sure if it isn't caused by anything physical. I know my moods isn't all based on my iron levels, but I think it isn't helping (think it is causing some tiredness but not low moods for example).

Hope this helps.

romantic_thi3f · ‎24-08-2017

Hi Cesca1557,

Welcome to the forums!

Thanks for being here and hope it helped being able to get things off your chest. I gotta say I'm really glad that you were able to make that appointment and get in so soon; even though a week and a half seems so far away I'm sure that it will come by really quickly! Hopefully we can give you a bit of support in the meantime.

So you're saying that this has been happening for 2 weeks which doesn't sound like a long time; do you know what might have triggered this change so quickly? You said a number of things have been hitting you recently and I'm not sure if you're referring to just the study pressure or if there's something else too...

Certainly many physical things can cause a lack of focus and zoning out, but it's not uncommon for stress to do this too. If you have a lot on your mind it sounds only natural that it would be causing you to feel empty and numb and even affecting your sleep.

Can you share with us what you're doing now to cope and how you're managing your study knowing that it's so hard to focus?

Cesca1557 · ‎25-08-2017

Thanks MsPurple!
I just had a look at the forum and it has lots of great tips I will try to use. Ive always been very good at motivating myself to study and studying in general as I have always had a desire to do well, so I feel like i'm just struggling not having experienced this lack of concentration and motivation for this length of time (it used to sometimes happen for a day or so but then go away).

Sorry to hear that you aren't doing that well at the moment either! Thanks for your advice, I actually made an appointment to see my GP for next week after reading your post. I have always been unsure about taking medication as I know they can be quite expensive and like you, Im lacking funds at the moment but I think it might be something that I have to do regardless as I really shouldn't be compromising something that is beneficial for my wellbeing over money.

I do have really low iron levels actually and usually take iron supplements to help with this but havent for a few months as I keep forgetting to buy more when I go to the pharmacy which probably very smart.
Thanks so much for taking time to reply to my post, it really helped

Cesca1557 · ‎25-08-2017

Hi romantic_thi3f,

I haven't been to a psychologist appointment in quite a few months so it is definitely overdue.
Yes, the last two weeks have been especially hard. Im not really sure why it has worsened recently but I think it may have been due to the fact I arrived home about 3 weeks ago from an overseas holiday. It was absolutely incredible and something that I had been looking forward to and planning for almost a year so was so exciting to finally be over there. I obviously didn't think that the trip would solve all my problems, however I didn't expect to feel as sad as I was on it. So I think that after I got home, it really struck me how far away I am from reaching a place where I do feel happier which was quite disheartening and frustrating at times.

At the moment I just trying to take some time to relax, and when I am struggling to focus I have a break so that I try not to get frustrated over it. Im also making sure i try to exercise as much as possible (my knee has been injured for almost 2 years so I have to limit how much I do and what I do to prevent it from hurting too much) as I find that exercise is the best way for me to clear my mind and de-stress. But apart from that I cant seem to find much that is helpful so Im just going to keep trying different things and hope that something works!

Thanks so much for the support! It really does mean a lot

romantic_thi3f · ‎01-09-2017

Hi Cesca1557,

Thanks for your post.

How have you been since you last posted? Think it's probably a week now so just thought I'd check in! I'm also just thinking that maybe by now you've had your psychologist appointment too so feel free to let us know how that went.

I can completely see how the holiday might contribute to your mood. I know for me it feels like a total switcharoo - things are okay and then they're kind of not. It can certainly take some adjusting. Is that what it was like for you? If only we could be on holidays for longer hey!

What sorts of things do you do to relax? Exercise is certainly a good one; but there are also techniques to help you work around your knee so that it doesn't flare up.

I also saw your post to Ms Purple about medication. If you have a concession card - and I'm guessing you might given that you're a student - it means you're eligible for the PBS. Long story short the majority of medicines will be capped around 6$ - so this might help ease your worries!

Hope this helps

Cesca1557 · ‎01-09-2017

Hi romantic_thi3f,
The last few days I have definitely had a much clearer mind. I had two uni midsemester exams on wednesday and I have one on monday so I think the urgency of needing to study kicked in, so I managed to get a few days of study in before those midsems which was good! Definitely wont have done as well as I want to, but Im glad that they are over and I will just have to try to prepare better next time.
I still haven't had the psychologist appointment, there were no available spots for until next week as the time that was available, I had university so couldn't go. But i will let you know how it goes when I do eventually go.

I think with the the holiday, it was more that I realised that even warm sunny countries in Europe weren't enough to make me happy, and I hated that I sometimes felt sad over there as I know how lucky i am to have gone. In a way it was good because it made me realise that I dont want to keep going through life by just getting through each day, I want to enjoy it more and I dont want to feel as sad as I do, and it has given me a bit of push to make changes in my life.

I think exercise is probably the main one for me, Im able to modify things I do so that my knee doesnt hurt which is good! Otherwise I find listening to music is a great way to wind down and I think I want to start meditating as another stress relief and mindfullness exercise. Have you ever tried that before?

I actually went to my GP today and decided on a antidepressent medication with her to take so I will start taking that tomorrow! Hoping for some improvements but will have to wait and see 🙂

Thanks so much!

How has your week been?

Cesca

romantic_thi3f · ‎05-09-2017

Hi Cesca1557,

Thanks for your post.

Sounds like you were able to get a fair bit of study in which is great to hear! What do you think helped there?

I'm glad to hear your appointment isn't too far away, and it sounds like you've got a few techniques up your sleeve like meditation and mindfulness! Yes I do have some experience in mindfulness. I've found that it helps enormously with my anxiety and insomnia. There's lots of different branches of it, so I encourage you to be patient if you're having a hard time with it. What sort of meditation do you do?

It seems like from your post you were able to really spin that from feeling struck from coming back from your holiday to being pushed to make changes in your life. That's such an optimistic approach!

I'm happy to hear you talked to your GP too! Fingers crossed that the medication helps and not too many side effects! Hopefully your GP would have told you already but it can take a few weeks to notice any changes.

Cesca1557 · ‎05-09-2017

Hi romantic_thi3f,
If im being completely honest, ive always been good at putting any problems i have aside and getting what ever study done that i need to do. Which is a blessing because it means I am able to still function and do well at uni but it also means that by constantly pushing my emotions away, I feel like im doing better than i am because im not actually dealing with it properly
Having said that, exercise i find always helps, also taking a bit of the pressure off helped to relax and bit and get in a better mindset.

I have never really done any meditation so I will definitely have a look around to see what best works for me, because i have heard, like you have obviously seen, that it works wonders! thankyou

yes it was definitely the push i needed! thankyou, im trying to be more optimistic 🙂
The only side effect so far has been a bit of nausea so im pretty thankful that i havent really experienced anything else yet! Im only a few days in, but yes definitley hoping that in a few weeks i start to see some positive chances
hope youre doing well

romantic_thi3f · ‎11-09-2017

Hi Cessa1557,

Thanks for your post.

It's almost been about a week now so just thought I'd check in and see how you were going. It sounds like it must be kind of frustrating knowing you need to push your emotions away in order to try and cope at uni. I can imagine that it would be very tiring; feelings are designed to be felt!

Have you had the psychologist appointment? I'm wondering how it went if you want to share 🙂

I'm glad that you're finding that exercise is helping! Also really happy that your only side effect is nausea! That's great to hear and definitely a common one so will probably subside pretty soon. It definately sounds like you're feeling more optimistic which is great to hear; especially just looking at the first post you made hear. Sometimes I feel like just pushing yourself to be a little more optimistic each day can make a world of difference, even if it doesn't seem that way at the time.