Getting Help

[pinkdino]

Hey Guys,

I've been sad for a really long time and I've gotten really good and telling myself that it'll be okay (when it clearly isn't) and hiding the fact from others. And I have decided that I am so sick of being so depressed, deserted, isolated, desperate, empty (just a few of the many words that come to mind) and I am over being so afraid of myself, I've made the decision I need help... but I don't know how.

I know most of you might say "just talk to someone that you trust" its just I can't do that and I hate myself everyday for it.

Are there any tips you guys have for approaching someone (like a family member or someone at school) and telling them how you are so lost and scared in your life? I've never really been good and talking or communicating and I am really stressed and nervous when I am in a social situation where I am alone or have nowhere to hide (not literally, but I hope you know what I mean) so talking to someone is going to be really hard for me. I'm pretty sure my school has counseling but are they the right people to make first contact with? Who are the best people to start the conversation with from your guys experiences? I just wouldn't be comfortable going to my parents, because I think they would be heartbroken by it. I think I need someone else to talk to first and then I think it could be communicated to them.

I really hope no one is going through what I am going through, and if you are, I feel and understand your pain and struggle everyday.

Thanks

[Guest_9809]

Hi PinkDino, and welcome to the Forums. Its a brave and decisive step you have taken by joining up and posting here. So good on you, well done.

I'm sorry you are feeling the way you are right now - it sounds literally 'very depressing'. Perhaps you will feel less alone by knowing there are a great number of people in the same situation as what you are right now, including many young people here on the Forums.

I personally am not a young person (I'm an oldie in my 50's - sorry), but I expect there will be some who spot your post and come on soon to help advise and support you.

I totally agree with you about speaking about these things to anyone. That unfortunately is the same, no matter what your age is. I could go into a long spiel about where best to seek advice and help, however I would quickly run out of space here.

So .... Please cut and paste the following address to your browser and have a read of the Youth Section of Beyond Blue. I think you will find most of the information there that will assist you with the questions that you have asked. Some of it is advice relating to someone you know who is experiencing anxiety or depression, and how to assist them, but the information is the same for you, the sufferer. There are also details of who you can speak to - help lines and on-line chat. Have a read of the separate sections along the top of the page, namely: "Understand whats going on", "Do something about it" and also "Help someone you know".

This should be a good starting point for you. Then afterwards, please come back on and ask any other questions you may have. Probably by then you will have received other responses as well.

Take care PinkDino, and dont worry, you can overcome this.

Taurus

[Guest_9809]

Oops, forgot the web address. Copy and past this address PinkDino:

https://www.youthbeyondblue.com/

Just one of the problems of getting old PinkDino - forgetfulness. Sorry about that.

Taurus

[james1]

Hi pinkdino,

First of all, I love your name. Is it meant to be short for pink dinosaur? That would be awesome!

So, a big welcome from me and my bunny who I call Mr Rabbit. You sound like you're really struggling at the moment and unsure how to take the first steps.

Can I just take a moment to say you've expressed yourself really well here? I know you haven't gotten to the core of what you're struggling with, but you've given a really good intro post.

It's hard to open up to people when we've never done it before, but at the same time, it's one of those things which you get better at with repetition. It's like muscle memory right? Your brain's just one big muscle and it needs to get used to talking to people about how you feel.

Okay, so this is a little bit of a rhetorical question, but it's also a way for us to understand a bit better:

What if you were to either print your post out and show it to the person you want to talk to, or if you were just to go to them and just tell them word for word, "I'm so lost and scared in my life"?

How would you feel? What would you be afraid of?

I think it's a good thing to remember that a lot of people will be understanding, but they will also be unsure of how you would like them to react. So sometimes, it takes a bit of guidance from us. For example, I hate being in the spotlight so I always tell people that I'm about to tell them something important, but I don't want them to ask me any more and just to listen. If they don't want to do that, I can talk to someone else.

Also, your school counsellor would definitely be a good first option, but it's important to remember that they aren't the only ones. Like you said, family members are good (even extended family), but if you're worried about people too close, maybe a friend or the support lines can even be a good place to start. In fact, someone who's trained but also not too far removed would be your local GP if you have one you see every now and then. They can also give advice on this kind of thing.

James

[pinkdino]

Thanks James for replying,

I've been thinking about what you said about printing it out and reading it to someone, and the thought of that just totally terrifies me, being so open and stepping out of my confusing mind, revealing myself to someone just makes me feel uncomfortable at the thought of it.

I went back to school this week and have been thinking about maybe trying and going to see the counsellor, but I don't know much about how to contact them and neither does anyone I know. Plus I feel it would just be awkward to bring it up in conversation. I guess it's just a matter of getting over the initial fear, but I can't seem to get over it. And for the past day, and a bit, it's been really nagging at me.

Then I went on and thought about talking to a GP, but I am rarely sick and there would be no reason for me to go. Do I just ask my parents to take me? Again, if they start asking questions I feel I would back down because of the attention and pressure that comes with that.

I don't know, it's probably just my stupid mind creating excuses - like always. But I just can't seem to let it go.

[pinkdino]

Thanks for the reply Taurus,

The Strange thing is is that I had already read that page, and multiple other pages on everything because when I am stuck in a low, all I can do is procrastinate and the majority of the time my wanderings lead me back to a few pages on depression or something alike. It's weird. Thanks for the thought and meaning behind the response.

[james1]

Hey pinkdino,

Thanks for replying to me with such a thoughtful post.

Are you able to just go to the GP by yourself if you don't feel talking to your parents just yet? It sounds like you're open to it, if only you could find a way to get there.

It sounds like you're trying your best to manage the pressure and I also think that can be quite scary. Having lots of questions thrown at you that you don't even know yourself. You can manage that by letting anyone who you disclose to that you don't want to feel pressured or examined. Often, people will understand and respect a request like that.

About the school counsellor, perhaps you could ask a teacher who you know well or who you trust. You can just tell them that you'd like to speak to the school counsellor, but you don't know how.

We can see you're trying your hardest to find some support and that's great. You're in control over your recovery so don't let others make you tell them things you don't feel ready to do yet. By the same token, it's good to see that you are open to receiving support, because people will want to help and they do care about you.

James

[pinkdino]

Hey Guys,

Not sure if I'm allowed to make a new thread? But I guess I can just put in on this one and hope somebody reads it...

Over the past few weeks (what has seemed like forever) I haven't been able to bring myself to do anything because my anxiety has always gotten the better of me. I've walked countless times past the school counselors and haven't talked to them because I have no idea how to initiate conversation about the voices (if that's what I'm going to call them) inside my head. Especially the two major ones that are constantly leaving me in a state of sadness and anxiety.

Over the past week I have had exams and my family has said that I've been getting more angry and getting more mood swings. I don't notice them and I guess you could attribute them to my exams and the pressure of them, but I've never been like this for the other exams I have ever had in my school life. I just feel like its a bit to much of a different in order to be attributed to purely my exams... Who knows.

I've now finished my exams and the voices are still there, a bit louder than they were before. And tonight (like most other nights) is where they are at their loudest. Anyways now I'm rambling. But its kinda relieving to just let it out on here. Thanks for reading (if you have, not that many people will).

[Pysis]

Hi pinkdino

you can certainly start your own thread that's what this is for.

by voices do you mean your thoughts or are they like differnt voices? Counselor sate pretty good with this kind of stuff and the fact that you have acces to them is great, maybe even write a letter explaining what's going on for you and give it to the counselor that sometimes is a lot easier than trying to figure out how to start the conversation. I personally struggle with anxiety and I know that it is horrible you just have to find ways of dealing with it and that's different for everyone I'm still trying to figure out that myself. Do you have panic attacks at all? Exams are very stressful and it's understandable that you are getting angry or having mood swind if you are tierd that dosent help either. Is there anything else going on that might be contributing to it do you think? If the voices are getting louder have you tried drowning them out with music or something sometimes that helps to keep my thoughts in check. If it continues I think you should consider seeing a gp and asking thier advice or better yet going to the counsellor at your school.

you are always more than welcome to talk on here as well there seem to be a lot of people that care I've only been on here a few days but it has already made me feel better.

[Guest_9809]

Welcome back again pinkdino. You are allowed to open a new thread if it is related to a different topic, but in general its preferred to stick to the original thread because it contains all relevant facts to date. I just saves having to repeat information again. Dont worry, people will still read your post, and you will receive replies.

Okay, so exams are over .... congratulations on getting through that hurdle. It is a very stressful time, and may well have contributed to your current issues.

Pinkdino, we are not medical health professionals here, so we cannot diagnose what your problem is. But we can advise you to seek help from your GP, and I would strongly encourage you to do so.

You mentioned last week that you are rarely sick and would therefore have no reason to go to see your GP. But you do have a reason to go as you are obviously concerned about these voices you mention. I dont believe you need to ask your parents permission to see your GP. Can I ask how old you are? Print out this page where you describe whats happening to you, and take it along and give it to your GP. They will steer the conversation from there. I know its a scary prospect to have to talk about it, but I suspect nowhere near as scary as what these unknown voices in your head are.

You werent rambling. I understand that you are frightened about whats happening to you, and afraid to talk about it. But please be assured that it can be rectified with the appropriate treatment. But only you can instigate that process. Please do so by going along to your GP armed with notes and a printout of your post from above.

You are very courageous, I know that because you had the courage to reach out through the Forums here. So you can do this.

Please post again and let us all know how you are getting along. Hopefully with the news that you have booked an appointment with your GP. (-:

Taurus