I feel really lonely and really want some friends

[RubyAmeliaaa]

Hi, I have so much to say but I just don't know where to start let's just say it has been really hard recently, life has never felt so meaningless I miss being happy I am trying really hard to pull through. I have felt really distant from my friends this past year I kind of don't even know if they are my friends anymore I really want to make some new genuine friends, highschool is hard enough but being in high school and having no friends is just really taking a toll on me. I don't know how to make new friends, not going to lie none of the people at my school really get me I don't know some of them are nice I just get a feeling they don't care about me like they wouldn't care if I was gone. I have many likes and hobbies and wish I would be able to bond with people over them so if anyone has any tips it would be greatly appreciated! Also having high anxiety definitely doesn't help meeting new people lol

[Sophie_M]

Welcome to the forums, RubyAmeliaaa, we are so glad you decided to join us here. We know it can be hard to write the first post, so thank you for sharing your worries with us. 

It sounds like you're really not sure where you stand with your friends and also feel like it might be a good idea to make new ones but that seems easier said than done. A lot of people struggle to make new connections or mantain old connections, you're not alone in this. 

We hope that you will find some comfort here on the forums. Please keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it (and maybe let us know about those hobbies of yours). 

[hellohi]

Hi RubyAmeliaaa

My name is Neerja and I am in high school too, in year 9 this year.

Which year are you in? (you don't have to answer this if you don't want to 🙂 )

Sorry I know I am not going to be helpful and I don't have any tips sorry.

It must feel really isolating and hard not know who your friends are and aren't. I understand how you feel about your friendships. Does it feel like you are surrounded by people, yet you feel like no one is around you? Do you find it hard talking to people and trusting others?

I find it hard to talk to people, in school, I think people would consider me the quite one who has nothing to say in class, I just freeze when someone asks me something lol.

What are your hobbies and likes? I used to like to play basketball and swimming, not as much anymore lol.

I would really like to get to know you. I know it is behind a screen, but would you like to be friends?

How has today been for you? How do you feel about being in high school?

Hope to see you around!

Neerja

[RubyAmeliaaa]

Hey Neerja! Yes, I am in year 9 to It's good to talk. I just have been finding friendships so difficult I just feel like I am not really close with anyone yes I have friends but they're just kind of around me you know? Your teens are meant to be some of your best years and I just feel like I never really have much fun with others idk it's kind of a weird situation. I love movies, like a lot, tv shows are also great as I feel like I am able to escape reality do you have a favorite movie or tv show? I also love art I may not be amazing at it calms me and the process is so much fun. I also like sports specifically netball but honestly, I'm down to play anything I can get kind of competitive lol. Hope you had a good day and hope you can respond!

R

[LonleyCat]

Your not the only one,

I'm in High School and I haven't been talking to my friends recently and i don't even know if they are still my friends : ( I think we haven't been talking for like 2 months now. I really don't know what to do, i have other friends but their not as close as them. I really miss them, the laughs we shared, the smiles on our faces. I just wish i had the guts to talk to them and be like we were 2 months ago : (

[RubyAmeliaaa]

I know it's hard when you haven't talked to people in a long time I tried to talk to my friends and they just would send back one word or something and the most annoying part is that they would also post about face-timing or playing games together and it's like well why not me you know?

Give talking to your friends a try who knows they might feel the same way if not you can also come back and talk hear lol

-R

[LonleyCat]

Thanks RubyAmeliaaa for the reply and tips but....

I just dont have the guts to go up to all of them and say how i feel 😞 idk i'm just scared. One of them was my friend ever since year 5 (that's when we met and formed our friendship), he and i was very close friends and used to hang out with each other all the time. But now that were're in Highschool things kinda changed i guess. We got new friends and formed new friendships.

Also whenever my friend (close one) tries talking to me i just pretend i don't hear him and i try and avoid bumping into him at lunch time. Should i do that?? And in group activities sometimes my teacher puts me into my friends group and i feel awkward talking to them in the group. Should i do that too??? At the same time i want to talk to them when i'm in the group activities so i kind of get used to them but idk.

Pls give me tips and feedback, that will be greatly appreciated : )

Thanks, LonleyCat

[hellohi]

Hi R,

Do you feel like you are surrounded by friends, but you don't understand or know any of them and you don't feel close to them?

I don't know if I have friends at school, I just say that I do but I don't understand or truly know any of them. I am that odd one out, no one talks to me and they make their plans of going to places right of my face as they know I can't come.

I understand how you feel about not having fun with others and not making the most of the "best years" that others say are the teenage years.

Movies and tv shows are really good! It feels really good to just escape reality. I think my favourite movie is Hidden Figures, I had to watch for a school assignment and it was a really nice and inspiring movie, it's really sad how race and gender determined and still determines the respect and opportunities people get, yet we say people are equal. I don't watch a lot of movies, but when I do my favourite movies keep on changing lol. Do you have a favourite movie or tv show? Do you prefer tv shows or movies?

I am really glad that you enjoy art, it calms you down and it is fun. It is really good to have things there to do when you need them. I am still searching for what calms me down, haha I am horrible at art.

Haha, I think I am the opposite of competitive lol. I haven't played netball that much before, but during PE, I think last year, we played it, it is a really fun sport!

How are you? How is school going?

I hope you have a nice day,

Neerja

[hellohi]

Hi LonleyCat,

I hope you don't mind that I join, but if you do I'm really sorry.

Sorry, I know that I am not any help. But, I understand how you feel awkward talking to them and I understand it has been a long time since you have talked to them.

I think you should do what you feel comfortable with. If you don't feel comfortable talking to them, it's ok, sometimes we all need time and finding the right time to do it. Maybe you could write what you feel down and then say it to your friends, or give them a letter saying how you feel? You could say how important the friendship is to you, how you miss them and how you feel that things have changed since you have been in high school. I understand that it is hard to go up to all of them, but it is hurting you as well, sometimes communicating your thoughts and emotions makes you feel better because you give it an outlet.

RubyAmeliaaa is right, you can always come back and talk here. We are here for you.

I hope you have a nice day,

Neerja

[LonleyCat]

Hello hello, hi,😀 lol

Thanks for replying back, it means a lot that someone out there cares about me.

Thanks for the tips and things but once again i don't know if i can go up to all of them and say how i feel. And also i don't think i can write something and give it to them by person, sorry. But i will be coming back here for more tips and solutions. This is a place where i can come for help and solve my problems.

Thanks, LonleyCat