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Young people

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romantic_thi3f Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies
  • replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are i... View more

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

Sophie_M NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first
  • replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindfu... View more

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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EmJane Is it normal to be feeling this way?
  • replies: 3

Hi I've never really posted online about this but I've been feeling considerably worse recently and feel the need to reach out to others who have perhaps experienced/are experiencing similar things. I finished Year 12 last year and moved out of my sm... View more

Hi I've never really posted online about this but I've been feeling considerably worse recently and feel the need to reach out to others who have perhaps experienced/are experiencing similar things. I finished Year 12 last year and moved out of my small country town in early February to a city 2 and a half hours away to attend uni. No one I know from my hometown moved to this city or is attending uni. I moved into a share house about 5 minutes from my uni campus with some really lovely housemates that I simply cannot fault. Initially I was very excited to move - my family (who I am very close to) and friends back home really hyped up my 1st year of uni as being a time to party at first and then make some amazing new friends and meet people. For the month of February due to not having friends in the city and not being able to afford to travel home, I spent a lot of time in the share house alone as my housemates worked full time. During this time I began to feel quite isolated and alone despite regularly calling friends and family in my hometown. I thought it would pick up once uni started. But due to COVID-19 my uni decided to go entirely online. At first this was okay and I studied hard. But I didn't get to meet anyone or make any friends in the city. I began to quickly feel more isolated, lonely and anxious despite still being close to family and friends in my hometown. I could not and still cannot shake the feeling that this year has been a disappointment. I struggled with being alone in the city sharehouse a lot through March. Felt very sad constantly and cried a lot. Felt very alone despite talking to friends and my parents. This past month (April) I have been spending a majority of my time in my hometown with my parents, staying with them 5 days a week and spending the other 2 in the city when I have to work. But despite being home I am still feeling extremely down but can't pinpoint exactly why. I feel stressed about uni work and it is affecting my motivation - I am beginning to not attend some online classes. Then I feel bad about it and think I should go next week, but then because I feel bad I don't go - it is a cycle. I feel like I may be beginning to fall behind. I feel anxious in public and sometimes panicky. I cry a lot when I'm alone and feel very down. I feel very alone although I have very supportive friends and family who check up on me regularly. I'm not sure how to get my motivation back for uni and how to feel less alone and down.

Nerissa Made up false stories before bed
  • replies: 3

It started when I was 4, (I am 11 almost 12 now) everytime before sleeping I’d just lay there with my eyes open and make up untrue stories in my head. Sort of like a movie. It’d have these characters I’ve basically lived with my whole life! I get exc... View more

It started when I was 4, (I am 11 almost 12 now) everytime before sleeping I’d just lay there with my eyes open and make up untrue stories in my head. Sort of like a movie. It’d have these characters I’ve basically lived with my whole life! I get excited to go to bed to make these scenes in my head. It’s like, I am not happy with reality and my personal life, I create a new one with better people that are living better lives. They have been the same made up people or characters since I was about 9. And every day to night in my whole life is about these people and their situations. It’s like a movie and I’m the director to these people that don’t even exist. I feel like it’s getting out of hand now because when my mum is asking me something or talking to me, I get confused as to which is real and say something about the situations I made up with nonexistent people the other night. I think I’m crazy because I feel like I’m the only one. I feel like these characters are actually real. They have been with me for way too long. Not a minute in my life I don’t make it about them. I want to know, am I the only one? Am I the only one that has lived for years with strangers I created? Its been going on for 3 years now, 3 years. I can’t live without them because these made up scenes in my head keep me going and takes me into non reality. I’m just afraid it’ll stay on me my whole life. I don’t know why I am afraid but, I’m scared I’ll get too confused between what’s real and what’s not that I start bringing these fake characters into my reality. I’m even ashamed of myself for this. The characters are: Cole, Demi, Elijah, Violet, Skylar Rhylands, Reini, Catarina, Martha, Anastasia, Cameron, Mia, Lindsey, Hayley (or Haylz), Aubry etc. they do not exist! I made them up 3 years ago and continue their movie until now. Thank you for taking time reading this. I do hope i’m not the only one :’(

Guest_294 Completely new life?
  • replies: 8

Hi all, so I have in the space of a couple days, submitted an application to transfer universities to ANU in Canberra from Macquarie University in Sydney. I’ve been advised that I am almost guaranteed an offer with my grades and GPA so I’m now thinki... View more

Hi all, so I have in the space of a couple days, submitted an application to transfer universities to ANU in Canberra from Macquarie University in Sydney. I’ve been advised that I am almost guaranteed an offer with my grades and GPA so I’m now thinking about logistics and the reality of moving away within the next few weeks... how do you deal with such significant change? I have my whole family here, all my friends and my boyfriend. None of whom (except my family) know that I’m moving. I’m waiting until I actually receive and accept the offer to tell anyone. I keep thinking about what it’ll be like not coming home and dancing around with my sisters or watching the footy with my brothers. Not having my friends a 10 minute drive away or seeing the same people I do every day. Not being able to turn around and steal kisses from my boyfriend who is such a significant part of my life. I couldn’t do long distance I don’t think - I’d try, definitely, but I’m a very physically affectionate person. I like cuddling with him and kissing him and just being together. Talking on the phone just isn’t the same... theres just so much that would change if I moved. It would be a great move! This is an incredible opportunity I don’t want to turn down and I know i will have an amazing experience living in Canberra and studying at ANU but it’s just all happened really fast and is a lot to take in. I don’t know...any advice for when you lose everything you know like that? I know I won’t lose it all - they’re only a few hours away on the train but it’s going to be so different. Thanks as always, A

Jassa Your Never Alone
  • replies: 8

Hi I am making this post to tell people, your not alone. It is absolutely okay not to be okay. I am to am struggling, recently I lost my friend, my supporter, my guider, my protector. I lost my dad to mental health. My dad lost took his own life this... View more

Hi I am making this post to tell people, your not alone. It is absolutely okay not to be okay. I am to am struggling, recently I lost my friend, my supporter, my guider, my protector. I lost my dad to mental health. My dad lost took his own life this year on Fathers Day. I will always be his daddy little girl I wished my dad spoke and understood that is okay to not be okay. I have a promise, I made him. i will promise to help break the stigma of mental health. I sit here today, I had to post this to allow myself and remind myself it is okay not to be okay. Lets all break down the stigma of mental health. We all have a roll to play to make that happen.

Spec13 My girlfriend doesn’t accept responsibility for her actions
  • replies: 1

Hi guys, I’ve lived with my partner for a year and a half now. She suffers from mental health issues which regularly requires me to take time off work to act as her carer. I’ve done all that I could reasonably do to assist her and support her over th... View more

Hi guys, I’ve lived with my partner for a year and a half now. She suffers from mental health issues which regularly requires me to take time off work to act as her carer. I’ve done all that I could reasonably do to assist her and support her over the last year and a half. I love her dearly and have done whatever needed to support her. But, I’m experiencing challenges and I’m needing advice. I have a good grip on my own mental health after a turbulent history, but I find that now I’m struggling to deal with my girlfriends lack of ability to accept responsibility for her actions or often, in-action. In her mind, nothing is her fault and she constantly blames others or myself for her misfortunes or mental health issues. I find dealing with her lack of accountability extremely taxing and often, I find myself incredibly exhausted from it. Why does her lack of accountability challenge me more than any other aspect of the relationship or her mental health issues, generally? What can I do to support her re this lack of accountability? How can I learn to better manage that myself? Thanks muchly, S.

eggalicious Feeling worthless and jealous of other's achievements
  • replies: 4

Hi All, Hope you are doing well in this difficult time! I wanted to bring up a problem I've been having for the past few months, which has been with me throughout much of the latter part of my life - I am hyper critical of my own achievements, and ha... View more

Hi All, Hope you are doing well in this difficult time! I wanted to bring up a problem I've been having for the past few months, which has been with me throughout much of the latter part of my life - I am hyper critical of my own achievements, and have never been able to see my own self worth in the way that I see others. For context, I am a visual arts student and many of my friends are also studying arts/have creative hobbies. In the past few months I've become more depressed and my art making has slowly trailed off. I still draw semi regularly, and can doodle without much thought, but art has become less of a joy and more of a burdensome task. Often I see my friends posting pictures of their creations on social media and think - why aren't I more like them? I often feel insecure, weak, untalented, and flawed in comparison to my other artist friends. I know I have issues with self worth - and this often exacerbates my anxiety in regards to the quality of my own work. For as long as I remember I've found it hard to be satisfied with my own achievements. Even when receiving compliments from others it's difficult to internalize them rather than having them go in one ear and out the other! I think a lot of this stems from my perfectionism - I find myself a bad judge of my own work as one mistake could ruin my perception of the entire piece. I think I have placed high expectations on my own art making, and this has paralysed me. In addition, I've been feeling more melancholic lately and dealing with feelings of worthlessness has made me even less motivated to keep going (a self reinforcing cycle!). Does anyone else get this problem? How do you deal with your own insecurities when it comes to creative pursuits? Thanks for reading, I really appreciate it Eggsy

noella99 Afraid to face consequences, making big decisions and do I really have control my life?
  • replies: 1

I'm currently unsure of the decisions I've made. I recently broke an agreement that costs me my entire savings. It took a lot out of me to break that agreement, because I thought it was the right decision for me in the long run. Yet now I find myself... View more

I'm currently unsure of the decisions I've made. I recently broke an agreement that costs me my entire savings. It took a lot out of me to break that agreement, because I thought it was the right decision for me in the long run. Yet now I find myself digging a deeper hole than ever and it made me rethink whether I made the right decision or not. I don't think I predicted the consequences would be this difficult and now I'm living through it. I'm too afraid to ask for help out of fear of others would judge me for my decisions. Some people have judged, with good intentions because I know what they were saying is true. However, a part of me just refuse to acknowledge it and feel hurt by it. I would just proceed to shield myself from doing the things they told me to do. Some people told me things on what to do and I let them. I hate that I let them. When I show some sign that I don't want to do it, they would tell me that I'm indecisive and that it's immature for me to do so. I overthink about it. Maybe I am immature. Maybe I should just follow through one decision, no matter how much I feel like I change my mind. They say it's for the best for me. I doubt it, but I never say anything. So I kept swallowing everything and kept things to myself. I wonder if anyone have ever felt this way? I'm only turning 21 this year and I still don't understand how adult-ing works. I feel like some people makes me feel like I'm not doing enough or just too immature with my decisions. I don't know how to break the chains from them and take over control.

GirlWithBigDreams If I Don't Succeed By 18 I Don't Know What I Will Do...I Want To Be A Successful Artist, I Fear Being Old, And School Is Bringing Me Down,
  • replies: 1

Hello everyone, I'm currently a student at a school for performing arts at the moment and I'm currently COMPLETELY behind in my school work because a SAC threw me off and now I'm behind in absolutely everything (with this online teaching style, whate... View more

Hello everyone, I'm currently a student at a school for performing arts at the moment and I'm currently COMPLETELY behind in my school work because a SAC threw me off and now I'm behind in absolutely everything (with this online teaching style, whatever lack of focus and motivation I had, is COMPLETELY gone out the window now. I'm doing both regular VCE Academic, plus intensive art at the same time in school (very long school days). I'm passionate about the art part and do that, but academically I am completely burnt out. With this whole system, it isn't working for me and I feel like I can't focus. More and more work keeps piling in. I CANNOT. I used to be a high achieving academic student, but once I realised that performing arts and film is ultimately my passion, I stopped prioritising/striving for education as much as I used to, and do not intend to university. My parent is very against that despite supporting me in everything I do. "You'll never amount to anything without education, you'll work at maccas/as a cleaner then..", but if I KNOW what my passion is, and that I plan to train and learn extensively for my talent, I don't consider that unsuccessful! I've talked to the school counsellor, but I feel like encouraging me to do it isn't helping me. I want to talk to a career counsellor, but from what I've briefly talked about they say "you might want to later on", but I DON'T! As an aspiring artist, it hurts when you're told there's the 1% of artists, and then the rest 99%. I don't want to mediocre, or have a plan B. As corny as it sounds, I want to be great! Why can't I be the 1%? I don't want to do this style of education where a grade or number determines your worth, or a degree determines your status. It isn't the same for art, its not like medicine where you NEED it in order to properly function. I feel like going to university is the "SAFE OPTION", but I don't want to waste away my young years 18-22... I already feel old (I'm 17), if I go to university and don't start my career, then I'll REALLY be old! Since I have to finish school, I feel like I won't be able achieve success because I'm stuck and immensely unfulfilled. Does anyone else feel this way? What can I do, who can I talk to? I know what I want to do with my future, but the academic system is not for my pathway and it's destroying my sense of purpose/belief in myself and my future. I have this thought that if I don't succeed by 18, I won't know what to do with myself anymore.

LisaLAynE Feeling Overwhelmed with School :/
  • replies: 2

So it’s a long story but due to my ocd, anxiety and past hallucinations I missed an entire year of school and now I’m back and the first term went fine I was getting straight A’s but since this term I’ve been doing horribly and I keep overthinking an... View more

So it’s a long story but due to my ocd, anxiety and past hallucinations I missed an entire year of school and now I’m back and the first term went fine I was getting straight A’s but since this term I’ve been doing horribly and I keep overthinking and thinking that I’m a failure and that I’ll never get into a good college and I’m so so so anxious about the future and I feel so stupid and everyone at my school is super smart and rich (I go to a prestigious private school) and I keep hearing about everyone accomplishments and how well they’re doing while I’m basically failing and I don’t want to disappoint my family because I feel like they expect so much from me

Flower_1 I had a big blowup with my partner for no reason
  • replies: 3

My partner and I have spent every second in isolation together and have had barely any arguments. Tonight we had a very huge fight over nothing at all and I yelled at him like I never have before and said some things that were very wrong and that I d... View more

My partner and I have spent every second in isolation together and have had barely any arguments. Tonight we had a very huge fight over nothing at all and I yelled at him like I never have before and said some things that were very wrong and that I didn’t even mean. It was a lot bigger then a normal argument and he said he doesn’t want to be around me at all and it’s best we end things. (We are both very hot headed people) Lately I’ve been feeling pretty lonely as my partner and I moved down to my family holiday home, so I’m feeling very distant and far away from my usual life. I have quit a large group of friends but feel like no one actually cares about me. I have always been someone to never really show or tell my friends how I’m actually feeling and just put on a fake smile.