A bit of a mess

[hellootheree]

Hi, it's my first time on here so I feel a bit weird to be honest. I thought I might come on here and rant for a bit just because I feel like letting some stuff out.

Recently I moved schools, halfway through last year I fell into a depressive state and was having panic attacks and I just wouldn't go to class because I didn't feel like doing anything at all at the time and everything seemed really pointless. Anyway, I just moved this year thinking I was going to have a fresh new start and all my problems would just magically fix (it was really stupid I know)

I was disappointed and all my expectations weren't matched obviously. It was the same thing all over again but worse, I had to start from scratch and make friends and I was falling behind in class, I had made friends that had turned out to be toxic and overall I just felt terrible. It's really overwhelming and I feel so lonely right now.

i feel like I can't talk to anyone and I want to get out but I know im probably overreacting. I feel like I have no one to go and talk to, but that's mainly my fault because I'm too shy and scared about it. I feel like I'm causing a problem, like if I seriously talk about myself I'm being extremely selfish because so many other people need help more than me.

im sorry this was all over the place but I don't know what to do right now.

[Sophie_M]

Hi hellootheree,

Welcome to our friendly online community, we are so glad you decided to join us here. We know it can be hard to write the first post, so thank you for having the courage. We're sorry to hear that you're feeling lonely. It's really tough to move to a new place where you don't know anyone. We're sure that a lot of our community members will relate to these feelings and hopefully some of them will be able to offer you words of advice. 

You might be interested in getting in touch with an organisation called Headspace. Headspace is an organisation specifically for young people aged 12-25 and they offer a wide range of services including group programs which are a great opportunity to meet people. They also have a group chat on their webpage.

If you feel it may be helpful, you are always welcome to get in touch with Kids Help Line. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under.

Please feel free to reach out here on your thread and keep us updated on what you're feeling and experiencing whenever you feel up to it. It's okay to have a bit of a rant and let stuff out!

[Croix]

Dear Hellootheree~

Welcome, I’m glad Sophie_M was there to give you a couple of very good suggestions, the Kids Help Line Chat is very popular and sensible, though there might be a little wait as lots of people use it.

OK, so you started to feel life pointless, did not feel up to school and had panic attacks. That’s pretty hard to bear.

Can I ask if you went to the doctor at that stage and were tested for anxiety and depression? I guess you must have told your family something to be allowed change schools.

I’ve been to eight, and changing over, even without all the hassles of a depressive state, is pretty tough. The existing kids all seem to be in groups and you feel excluded, plus you no longer had the friends and support you used to have in this new environment. Probably not even the classes you enjoyed.

Having tried to make friends and found them toxic would have felt terrible. No wonder you are lonely, anyone would be.

You do need to talk to someone, shy or not. As Sophie says Headspace or The Kids Hep Line are good starting points unless you have someone else you would rather talk to.

You are not causing a problem; you have a problem and talking about it here -as a start -is exactly right. True other people need help, but so do you, and you will not be taking anyone’s place by getting assistance yourself.

Life can be a whole lot better. If you can get your depressive state under control with support, then you will be able to cope with the downsides of your new school better, and may even find activities and people you like.

Is there anyone in your family you can talk to (or give a note)

Croix

[Cavan]

Being someone who stands out always makes you feel exposed and vulnerable. But trust me better to stand out than to be vanilla average. Take whatever chances come your way. Most importantly believe in yourself!!! Others have. You obviously stand out from the crowd. Trust in yourself. You will go far!!

[d33p3nd]

The quicker you can learn to enjoy your own company the better off you'll be in the long run. This is the perfect opportunity to work on yourself. Nothing with any value will come easy to you but i can promise you that if you put in the hard yards and ride that wave the whole way home, you will look back on these people and wonder how you even cared about their opinions. Once you hit the bottom the only way from there is up, but its upto you to know and understand that its not always easy riding that wave back up you just have to blindly buy in and get out of your comfort zone. At the end of the day you are the only one in control of your actions so stop leaning on people for your happiness or you will set yourself up to fail. 🙂

[geoff]

Hello Hellootheree, it does take a lot of courage to post your own thread on a site where you don't know what the response will be like, all we want to do is help you.

Moving schools is not a comfortable feat, and my twin and I had to do this when we were young, but we had each other for company, a far cry from what you are experiencing and trying to deal with.

If I can suggest a couple of solutions that may help you, along with what those above have mentioned, write down how you are feeling and then slip it under the door of the school counsellor, they will then approach you, rather than you have to.

Another option is to take to school a tennis ball, football or even a basketball, something that the other kids may want to join in with you, that's a good way to meet friends.

Take care.

Geoff.

[hellootheree]

thanks for replying, and yeah I've been recomended those sites before I just haven't visited them yet. but still, thank you so much

[hellootheree]

later in that year I had gone to see a psychologist and she diagnosed me with depression and anxiety. Thank you for replying, it really helped.