Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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close friend + her boyfriend

replies: 5

hi! im new here, not sure how much is over sharing, my apologies. if anyone has any advice id love to hear it! this is merely venting and wondering if my feelings are valid, i know i have a relatively good life. im young and currently only in my second year of high school. so ive been very close with this girl ever since high school started. shes liked this guy forever and they started dating recently. at first i was overjoyed for her, shes dating the guy she liked for ages! but its beginning to turn bitter. she doesnt speak to me unless she has to. she used to come over mon-thurs every second week but last time she was over there was a sort of tension in the air? im stressed with assessment and i wanted to work on an assignment that was due soon. she was upset. "maybe we could do a kahoot instead?" she seemed happy. we did a few when she asked, "can I choose one?" of course I said yes, but politely asked if we could do one that didnt include kpop (i know nothing about it so it would just be boring (maybe unfair on my part) and there would be no competition). "okay, thats fine," she says as she tries to find kpop ones. it wasnt the fact that it was kpop but that she didnt respect my wishes if that makes sense?? (im the type of person that gets walked all over constantly so it didn't feel good that the one time i asked it was completely disregarded) she got upset with me and hit me. it hurt more than anything in the world. not her hit but that she had done it, and over such an insignificant thing? back to her boyfriend. we don't really speak anymore as she acts like im not there and she only seems to care when its convenient for her. she only ever speaks to me after school, as if she doesnt want to be seen with me or shes only talking to me because theres nothing better to do. i opened up to one of my friends about it and he told some of it. she kept pressuring me to tell her, "why are you mad at me? what did i do?" getting angry with me when i told her it wasnt the right time. eventually i told her a small part of it. i know i need to tell her all of it but i want to word it properly. i dont wanna be put on the spot. i said, "it feels like you only talk to me when your boyfriend's not there," and she got defensive. her response was, "no i dont, youre wrong," it hurt that she threw my feelings away so easily. i just want her to be happy but i wish it wasnt at my expense. thank you for reading. sorry if this doesnt make sense, im running out of characters.

im never passionate about anything

replies: 5

I’ve never had any passions. i love my friends and family but i never had a hobby i enjoyed so much i wanted to turn into a career?? for example some people are very passionate about art or history or music to the point where they’d do it everyday for the rest of their life. I’ve never had a passion. not even when i was little. i feel like i never had any dreams. or maybe i did, but I’ve forgotten most of them by now. whenever i had dreams, reality hits. life isn’t a movie and i have to be realistic. for example, being a famous actress is just unrealistic and one can only dream. i could never dream because i was always told that things were “too far-fetched”. “it only happens in movies” and “it only happens to one in a million, don’t bother” are things i hear constantly. adults always choose the safest most realistic path, and i hate to say it, but i understand why and will probably do the same. its so unfortunate how little kids always have dreams, but their dreams get crushed by reality as they grow up. so many people work in boring jobs, such as being an HR manager in a finance company. i can almost be 100% sure that isn’t what they wanted to do as a kid, but yet, here they are. because they chose the safest most realistic path. money is a key part of our lives, and we always tend to choose “safe” jobs because they have steady pay. why can’t we just stop using money. why can’t we just live. and have fun? no money, no trade. and yes, i know thats unrealistic too. thinking about this has made me fall into a downward spiral because im 16 and will have to pick a college major/career path to pursue, and never having any passions has just affected me a lot. i really wish the world wasnt like this

I feel lonely and abandoned

replies: 3

Hi, So this past year I’ve been feeling pretty lonely. I’m in year 11 and have had some drama in my friend group (and I really just can’t deal with drama). When I’m sitting with my group I feel like I’m not funny enough to say anything or interesting enough to talk. At lunch we often sit in a circle and then sort of pair off into our own mini conversations but I feel like I’m never really talking to someone. I just eat my lunch in silence and then try to walk around and talk to others, to no avail though. I feel like everyone in the group just clicks and although I have sat with them for my whole school life, I have never felt like this before. It’s almost like I’m just unsatisfied with my friendships with them. Don’t get me wrong, they are great people but sometimes I feel a bit lonely when I’m with them. A particular moment that got me down recently was that in class we had to go into groups of two on a table to practice social distancing. This seemed easy enough as my friends and I had 6 people in the class, easily able to split into pairs. Yet three of them begged to stay together whilst the other two paired off with each other. My teacher gave in and said it was fine for them three to be together, but that just left me alone. Ive considered moving groups but I haven’t really found any one that I get along with as well as I did with my current group (before I felt all this). I’m also really scared of losing friends. This past year, three of my friends have left the group to sit with other people. Each time someone left, I have felt so heart broken and sick to my stomach that I would sit in the bathroom and cry. To be honest, I feel so silly that I react the way I do when I hear someone is leaving, but it’s like I get an overwhelming wave of panic each time I found out that someone is leaving the group. Sorry that this was so long, I honestly needed to rant

Uni, friends, coronavirus, and motivation

replies: 3

Hi everyone, first post here so yeah it’s a bit of a story So I started uni last year and really struggled my way through between moving to a new city and being unemployed, I also failed a couple of courses on top of that. I haven’t really made any new friends here (just a few acquaintances). This year has been a little different as my course has split into majors and I don’t know anyone in my classes anymore. On top of that I’m now too anxious to go to classes because of my poor grades and just meeting new people in general, coronavirus has made this even more difficult by moving things online. I’m really starting to question if this is the right degree for me but I don’t see myself taking any other path in life. so anyway all of this just results in me being extremely unmotivated to study which I know will just continue the cycle. Hoping there’s someone else out there with a similar experience

Loneliness is draining

replies: 2

I've had long periods where I've felt incredibly lonely ever since late 2017, where I was in year 7, up until now. In my high school, I feel like I don't fully belong in a group. I've tried different groups but I honestly don't feel like I belong in any, no matter how hard I try. This sounds insane but I've had my fair share of drama and I've tried my absolute best to avoid it, but it has always found a way to me. I feel like many girls don't like me no matter how hard I try to be friends with them - good friends. It makes me feel so incredibly lonely when I see groups of girls and I'm only close to two at my school, who don't even live near me, and three in other schools who don't live near me either. I know that I'd thrive in a better environment, because I'd love to fulfil leadership and extra-curricular roles. I just feel like I'm losing people who I thought I could trust. I feel so small and insignificant in my school. I try really hard to talk to people, and the group I'm in now, but I can't fully click with them? I'd love a big group dynamic, and I'm envious of supportive groups or girl-boy groups. There's a group of girls in my grade, the 'popular' girls, who are in a group with around 30 boys. I used to hang out with these girls, but two of them bullied me in year 7 and I kept this to myself and two of my close friends, because I honestly didn't think others would believe me anyway. I went back to the group I'm in now, and again, I just don't feel a sense of belonging, after 2 years. I know I don't click with other groups too. I'm well-known, but, I just don't feel like the girls in my grade like me, and it's a horrible feeling after 3-4 years at my school. Recently, I've felt so mentally and physically drained. I'd rather focus on assessments or workouts, and now with school starting again, I arrive home and I'm even more exhausted to do these. Another problem I won't go into detail about is my parents; their communication has been getting worse for a while, and it's just hard to be in the middle of that. They aren't necessarily fighting, but it's uncomfortable. I love them each so much and I just can't tell them everything I'm feeling. They've worked very hard for me, and they've listened to me separately before when I was overstressed. I feel lonely without a sibling too, I lost her when she was 8 days. I just feel lonely, and it's been this way for a long time. I play the happy card, but when I get home, I just can't talk to anyone.

feeling lost in life

replies: 4

hi everyone, I'm feeling very lost in life. I'm in the second last year of my commerce degree and I really just don't know where to go from here. I always thought that by this time I would at least have some idea of the career I would want to pursue. There's nothing I'm really passionate about - and certainly nothing that I can see myself doing for the rest of my life. I've been looking at internships for this summer, but nothing really excites me and I feel like I'm reluctantly applying, both hoping that I get rejected so I don't have to do it but also worried about how I will ever get a job with no experience if I don't get one. I also don't feel like I'm ready to jump into the 9-5 life, but at the same time I think I would love the independence and financial freedom that a full-time income would give me. I enjoy the student life, but don't want to keep studying just for the sake of not having to get a job (I have to pay that HECS debt off someday)! I have considered taking a year off uni, but don't really know what I would do in that year. I feel like I might just end up wasting my time, being bored and working part time at a dead end job which I know would make me depressed and anxious. I would love to travel, but I wouldn't even know where to start to organise that sort of thing especially with this whole pandemic situation and I'm honestly not sure I could really be away for more than a few weeks anyway. I just don't know what to do. I feel like everyone around me is starting to figure things out, while I have no more direction than I did 2 years ago. Help! Sarah x

Is it normal to be feeling this way?

replies: 3

Hi I've never really posted online about this but I've been feeling considerably worse recently and feel the need to reach out to others who have perhaps experienced/are experiencing similar things. I finished Year 12 last year and moved out of my small country town in early February to a city 2 and a half hours away to attend uni. No one I know from my hometown moved to this city or is attending uni. I moved into a share house about 5 minutes from my uni campus with some really lovely housemates that I simply cannot fault. Initially I was very excited to move - my family (who I am very close to) and friends back home really hyped up my 1st year of uni as being a time to party at first and then make some amazing new friends and meet people. For the month of February due to not having friends in the city and not being able to afford to travel home, I spent a lot of time in the share house alone as my housemates worked full time. During this time I began to feel quite isolated and alone despite regularly calling friends and family in my hometown. I thought it would pick up once uni started. But due to COVID-19 my uni decided to go entirely online. At first this was okay and I studied hard. But I didn't get to meet anyone or make any friends in the city. I began to quickly feel more isolated, lonely and anxious despite still being close to family and friends in my hometown. I could not and still cannot shake the feeling that this year has been a disappointment. I struggled with being alone in the city sharehouse a lot through March. Felt very sad constantly and cried a lot. Felt very alone despite talking to friends and my parents. This past month (April) I have been spending a majority of my time in my hometown with my parents, staying with them 5 days a week and spending the other 2 in the city when I have to work. But despite being home I am still feeling extremely down but can't pinpoint exactly why. I feel stressed about uni work and it is affecting my motivation - I am beginning to not attend some online classes. Then I feel bad about it and think I should go next week, but then because I feel bad I don't go - it is a cycle. I feel like I may be beginning to fall behind. I feel anxious in public and sometimes panicky. I cry a lot when I'm alone and feel very down. I feel very alone although I have very supportive friends and family who check up on me regularly. I'm not sure how to get my motivation back for uni and how to feel less alone and down.

Made up false stories before bed

replies: 3

It started when I was 4, (I am 11 almost 12 now) everytime before sleeping I’d just lay there with my eyes open and make up untrue stories in my head. Sort of like a movie. It’d have these characters I’ve basically lived with my whole life! I get excited to go to bed to make these scenes in my head. It’s like, I am not happy with reality and my personal life, I create a new one with better people that are living better lives. They have been the same made up people or characters since I was about 9. And every day to night in my whole life is about these people and their situations. It’s like a movie and I’m the director to these people that don’t even exist. I feel like it’s getting out of hand now because when my mum is asking me something or talking to me, I get confused as to which is real and say something about the situations I made up with nonexistent people the other night. I think I’m crazy because I feel like I’m the only one. I feel like these characters are actually real. They have been with me for way too long. Not a minute in my life I don’t make it about them. I want to know, am I the only one? Am I the only one that has lived for years with strangers I created? Its been going on for 3 years now, 3 years. I can’t live without them because these made up scenes in my head keep me going and takes me into non reality. I’m just afraid it’ll stay on me my whole life. I don’t know why I am afraid but, I’m scared I’ll get too confused between what’s real and what’s not that I start bringing these fake characters into my reality. I’m even ashamed of myself for this. The characters are: Cole, Demi, Elijah, Violet, Skylar Rhylands, Reini, Catarina, Martha, Anastasia, Cameron, Mia, Lindsey, Hayley (or Haylz), Aubry etc. they do not exist! I made them up 3 years ago and continue their movie until now. Thank you for taking time reading this. I do hope i’m not the only one :’(

Completely new life?

replies: 8

Hi all, so I have in the space of a couple days, submitted an application to transfer universities to ANU in Canberra from Macquarie University in Sydney. I’ve been advised that I am almost guaranteed an offer with my grades and GPA so I’m now thinking about logistics and the reality of moving away within the next few weeks... how do you deal with such significant change? I have my whole family here, all my friends and my boyfriend. None of whom (except my family) know that I’m moving. I’m waiting until I actually receive and accept the offer to tell anyone. I keep thinking about what it’ll be like not coming home and dancing around with my sisters or watching the footy with my brothers. Not having my friends a 10 minute drive away or seeing the same people I do every day. Not being able to turn around and steal kisses from my boyfriend who is such a significant part of my life. I couldn’t do long distance I don’t think - I’d try, definitely, but I’m a very physically affectionate person. I like cuddling with him and kissing him and just being together. Talking on the phone just isn’t the same... theres just so much that would change if I moved. It would be a great move! This is an incredible opportunity I don’t want to turn down and I know i will have an amazing experience living in Canberra and studying at ANU but it’s just all happened really fast and is a lot to take in. I don’t know...any advice for when you lose everything you know like that? I know I won’t lose it all - they’re only a few hours away on the train but it’s going to be so different. Thanks as always, A

Your Never Alone

replies: 8

Hi I am making this post to tell people, your not alone. It is absolutely okay not to be okay. I am to am struggling, recently I lost my friend, my supporter, my guider, my protector. I lost my dad to mental health. My dad lost took his own life this year on Fathers Day. I will always be his daddy little girl I wished my dad spoke and understood that is okay to not be okay. I have a promise, I made him. i will promise to help break the stigma of mental health. I sit here today, I had to post this to allow myself and remind myself it is okay not to be okay. Lets all break down the stigma of mental health. We all have a roll to play to make that happen.

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

close friend + her boyfriend replies: 5

im never passionate about anything replies: 5

I feel lonely and abandoned replies: 3

Uni, friends, coronavirus, and motivation replies: 3

Loneliness is draining replies: 2

feeling lost in life replies: 4

Is it normal to be feeling this way? replies: 3

Made up false stories before bed replies: 3

Completely new life? replies: 8

Your Never Alone replies: 8