I feel lonlier everyday and I don't know what to do

[splinter]

Hello, I'm in year 12 and have been realy struggling lately trying to find people that care about me. I feel as if I am just there for convenience and I truly believe no one loves me like I love everyone. I always listen to peoples problems, I always stick by peoples side even if they don't deserve it and yet I feel I am ignored. I just want unconditional love and support. I feel I am too demanding of a person and maybe everyones just tired of me. Because of this, most days I struggle with getting out of bed. I've stopped talking to people and I've noticed my grades starting to drop. I'm just waiting for the day I find my people, but I really hope that day comes quick. ❤

[Sophie_M]

Dear Splinter,

Thank you for having the honesty to share with the community how things have been going for you. It sounds like you are a caring person who looks out for others but doesn't always feel that same support being provided back to you, we're sorry to hear that. Please know our community and our counsellors are always here to listen, you are not alone with these feelings.

You mentioned that you are in Year 12, which can be quite a tiring and stressful experience. Sometimes during difficult times we have to prioritise our own well-being, this may be as simple as going for a walk, doing some mindfulness exercises or seeking out some professional help through a GP to see a psychologist. Please know that you will find your people and in the meantime, know that we are here to listen: If you’d prefer to reach out to us, we’re on 1300 22 4636, or you can use our webchat here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/ or https://kidshelpline.com.au/, who have some great resources about managing study stress.

Thank you again for reaching out here, we hope our community will spot your post and provide some words of wisdom. In the meantime, explore our forums, there are quite a few threads on other students in Year 12 who are reaching out for some extra support.

Kind Regards,

Sophie M

[therising]

Hi splinter

It sounds like you might be the most caring and the most loving person out of most people you know. No one quite cares and loves in the ways you do. You're someone special.

I recall some time ago when I began to seriously wonder what love means to me. The reason I felt compelled to define love was based on the fact I couldn't always feel it from or towards some people. I began to wonder whether I was 'broken' in some way. The definition I found changed everything.

I thought there had to be some clue in just how much I love my kids. One of the key things I've always wanted most for my kids is for them to evolve through and beyond challenges and into joyful and satisfying ways of living, amongst wanting other things for them. I've always felt driven to make positive differences for them when they're facing challenging times of growth/evolution. I thought about the word 'evolution' and noticed what happens when you reverse the first 4 letters. There it was, love is found in evolution. Love is about leading others to evolve and it's about how they can lead us to evolve. Self love is about investing in our own evolution. Through this new personal definition, I came to realise why I can't feel love from others and why I feel so compelled to love the people I do. I've heard it said before 'Love is not a noun, it is an action word'. My love language is 'Acts of service'. Sounds like you may be able to relate, based on how much you serve those around you.

I've found true love to be conditional. If someone was depressed, for example, it's not enough (in my opinion) for someone to say 'I love you'. If someone actively raises that person, whether it be their consciousness or their spirits, that is love in action. I've discovered some people are raisers and some aren't, for whatever reasons. Sounds like the tribe you're destined to vibe with could be a tribe of raisers. Whether you find this amongst new friends, amongst volunteer workers, amongst members of some mental, physical or soulful self development course or somewhere else in your life, I imagine you will come to feel the vibe you long to feel. Loving people have quite a feel to them.💖