I feel lonely and abandoned

Kgr123 · ‎31-05-2020

Hi,

So this past year I’ve been feeling pretty lonely. I’m in year 11 and have had some drama in my friend group (and I really just can’t deal with drama). When I’m sitting with my group I feel like I’m not funny enough to say anything or interesting enough to talk. At lunch we often sit in a circle and then sort of pair off into our own mini conversations but I feel like I’m never really talking to someone. I just eat my lunch in silence and then try to walk around and talk to others, to no avail though.

I feel like everyone in the group just clicks and although I have sat with them for my whole school life, I have never felt like this before. It’s almost like I’m just unsatisfied with my friendships with them. Don’t get me wrong, they are great people but sometimes I feel a bit lonely when I’m with them.

A particular moment that got me down recently was that in class we had to go into groups of two on a table to practice social distancing. This seemed easy enough as my friends and I had 6 people in the class, easily able to split into pairs. Yet three of them begged to stay together whilst the other two paired off with each other. My teacher gave in and said it was fine for them three to be together, but that just left me alone.

Ive considered moving groups but I haven’t really found any one that I get along with as well as I did with my current group (before I felt all this).

I’m also really scared of losing friends. This past year, three of my friends have left the group to sit with other people. Each time someone left, I have felt so heart broken and sick to my stomach that I would sit in the bathroom and cry. To be honest, I feel so silly that I react the way I do when I hear someone is leaving, but it’s like I get an overwhelming wave of panic each time I found out that someone is leaving the group.

Sorry that this was so long, I honestly needed to rant 🙂

Sophie_M · ‎31-05-2020

Welcome to the Beyond Blue Forums Kgr123, thank you for joining us. We know it can be difficult to write the first post so thank you for having the bravery to do so.

We're so sorry to hear how lonely you feel within your friendship group. We understand how it feels to both appreciate and respect our friends but at the same time feel there isn't a lot of common ground between us. We understand this can be really tough and we're sorry you're going through this.

Please know that there is help available to you. The Beyond Blue Support Service on 1300 22 4636 or our friends at Lifeline on 13 11 14 are available to provide support and advice 24/7. Please do feel free to use these services to talk through what's on your mind when it's feeling like too much to cope with.

Please also feel free to keep us updated here on your thread with what you are feeling and experiencing whenever you feel up to it - we hope that you find this to be a safe and non-judgemental space.

anotherteen · ‎31-05-2020

Hi, I think I get what you're feeling, although it might not be fully. I understand what it feels like to have drama and get so tired from it and feel like lonely in your current group, to feel like you're never really talking to someone when you're sitting in a huge circle, even after 4 years of high school (I'm year 10), and I've considered moving groups in the past but it's ended in drama or me feeling lonely again. Right now, that's what I'm feeling, just really lonely. It's not silly to react with panic, I do that too! All in all, I really hope it gets better for you 🙂

adarkbloom · ‎31-05-2020

kgr123,

hi, i'm Alison. i'm 19 and graduated year 12 last year. and god, i understand you so much. i went though 4 years of high school like that until year 11. trust me i get it so much especially considering it was only a few years ago.

trust me when i tell you, things will get better. i wish i could have told myself that. i know it's hard, and it's horrible to feel that way, but we are all here for you. i'm here for you. your "friends" don't seem worth it. and trust me, once you're out of high school, it won't matter. i've been out of high school for 7 months now and i only talk to one person consistently from it still.

throughout high school, i lost friends, i was alone, i dealt with anxiety. and i know how hard it is. and it is hard. but you will get through it. it goes so so so fast and things will get better. drop your current friends, they're honestly not worth it and the people who are meant to be in your life will gravitate to you.

i am always here for you, i've been through this so much until i found my true friends.

Alison