Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Confused about the future

replies: 1

I’m 23. Just finished my four year degree at university. I should be excited to get out and start my career but I’m not. I’m feeling pressure from so many angles. I just want to run away from it all and not do any of it anymore but I care too much about what other people think. They are going to judge me for not getting a job straight away. They will think I’m bad at my work but I just don’t know what I want to do yet. I just feel like I need more time but that’s not an option. Any advice?

Body, Anxiety and Depression

replies: 2

When I was in primary school, I began to realize that I started to look different from a lot of the other girls, I started to gain weight and because of it I became quiet, awkward and embarrassed. I'm now in grade 11 in high school and it has gotten worse. I'm so embarrassed by the way I look, about my weight and about what others think of me that I have stopped bringing food to school because i don't want anyone to judge me, so on week days the only thing I eat is dinner. Every time I look in the mirror I cry or feel like it. About a month ago, i tried to learn to love myself but recently I ended up finding it really difficult because my best friend for 5 years is leaving me for other gorgeous, skinny, flawless people, making me feel worthless by comparison. Before she left me I noticed that she would never want to hang out with me which left me to assume that she is embarrassed to be seen with me. For a long time I've been feeling scared and worried to do a lot of things, things as simple as leaving the house or going to school. In some other events, I fidget a lot, sweat, can't focus/zone out, occasionally shake and i'm constantly worried. I always think this is anxiety but i can't be sure because I have not been tested for it as my mum will not let me. I always feel terrible about myself as I implied earlier and everything i do always seems useless, i'm worried that because of this I've developed depression, but once again, my mum will not allow me to get tested for it. I don't really know what to do about any of this and I would really love some suggestions on what i should, how i can make changes. I would also like to know if anyone else who has had any of these problems and how you've overcome them, thank you.

help?

replies: 2

im 15 and i have a guy friend whos 18. i might be starting to catch feelings but im not sure. so pretty much we talk a lot and i know hes having a hard time so i give up my time, risk getting in trouble (extremley strict controlling parents) but whenever im down it feels like he doesnt care and he doesnt do anything. there was a time when he used to care a lot but now im realising hes not the best friend i could have but for some reason im so attached so every little thing he does hurts me so much. i always wait for his replies and when he does i get soe xcited. i think hes down hes been rlly off lately like dry and says he wants to isolate himself but sometimes idk if he realises but the stuff he says amkes me feel so hurt and i get he might not want to talk but i only want to talk t him. ik that if he makes me feel bad i should stop but i cant. fyi this isnt a sexual realtionship at all ever. Also for some reason even though i have good girl friends i prefer to be around guys but i dont want people to think the wrong thing idk i just want some advice or something

Dealing with depression and a long term relationship ending

replies: 5

Hi all, First time to the forums, I have hit rock bottom! Feeling so alone and worthless at the moment and not sure how to get back to being myself. For context I am 25, studying my masters online and have always struggled with depression, I am on antidepressants which work great most of the time. About 6 months ago my partner of 6 years moved to start a new job and I got very depressed living alone (in the middle of nowhere, limited social circles and was just at home studying). This lead to my partner doubting if me moving in with him in his new house was the right move. And so we broke up. I have moved back in with my parents as I did not see another option. They have been great but I am still not doing so well. Recently my ex partner has been diagnosed with Cancer and has pushed me away even more, up until this point we both talked about getting back together. I am feeling so alone, and worthless. I feel I have not achieved anything in my life! I am feeling rejected and like I will never find someone again. I know that one day I will be ok but right now I am feeling so down! Hope this makes sense I am a bit all over the place at the moment !

I have reached rock bottom

replies: 10

Im a 24 year old male and since approximately 6 years my mental health has progressively been declining to the point where I have been suffering serious depression which of late has really taken control of my body. To provide a little context, my childhood was okay but not great. My parents were together until I was 18 but they should have divorced a long time before... they resented each other and constantly fought, and my father was never much of a father figure at all. They finally divorced not long after I finished high school, which was hardly a shock for me. But I think the whole ordeal and childhood has affected me quite a lot and given me quite bad abandonment and commitment issues as well as a lot of built up anger. Separately, I had always dreamed of becoming a pilot for my career. This is all I wanted to do since I was a child. I went to do my aviation medical with my dad at the end of year 12 but I failed over the most insignificant thing which was blown completely out of proportion by my father. I was stressed from that point as I had to very quickly (in the space of a few days) pick something else to study, but I didn't really have any proper backups as Aviation was all I wanted to do. I picked Geology, and completed the degree but absolutely hated it. I have been working in the industry for 3 years now and absolutely hate it. All I can think about is Aviation, and it just feels like i'm in this job because I was forced to. Thirdly, I am a bisexual guy going through quite a bad identity crisis. I thought I was comfortable in my own skin but i'm really questioning that now. It is really causing me quite serious anxiety. I have been in multiple short relationships which never seem to progress to anything serious because I can never fully open up and commit (a protection mechanism??), but I seriously cannot handle any more rejection. I was recently dumped for my poor communication skills, and I have so much regret. I know I should have opened up more. I really don't know what to do any more. I have reached rock bottom, and i'm only 24. I feel completely lost. If one thing in my life was going right, maybe my depression wouldn't be so bad but the fact is, I hate my job and have no idea what career to do and I ruin every relationship. I just feel like a complete failure of a person with no purpose and no positive prospects for the future. Have thought about quitting my job but I just don't know what I would do. Any advice is welcome. Cheers

Devalue my feelings

replies: 3

Hi everyone, I feel like I'm this whirlpool and I keep coming around to the very same point every time. I don't know if anyone else has ever felt this way but I'll be honest it's seriously messing with me. I have days where I'm really down, I feel worthless and I hate myself but then I'll have other days where I'm happy and laughing and enjoying myself. So then I feel like what I was feeling on those down days is meaningless, but I know in the back of my head those thoughts are always there but maybe in a range of severity? It makes me feel like those feelings of hatred that really played on my mind were just stupid, attention seeking? But then I'm not telling anyone about how I'm feeling so maybe it's not attention seeking, so what is it?? I went to a couple of counselling sessions, the first was intense I cried and let a lot of my stress out but then in the second I did the thing where I was "happy" I wasn't crying during the week or the thoughts weren't all I was thinking about so then the session ended somewhat there. I left the session feeling a bit confused about myself. What am I doing? Am I using my thoughts as an excuse? I feel that I devalue my feelings because I'm not always sad. That my feelings aren't as valid or as important. I say I'm ok because at that moment I guess I kind of am. It makes me worried that I'm lying to myself or to other people. To be honest I don't know what I feel anymore. But then my self hatred comes back in full force and I'm at another low point and I repeat the cycle over and over again. Sorry for this stream of consciousness!

Constant Worrying

replies: 2

Hi I am 21 and I have GAD I am constantly worrying about everything from friends to boys to relationships. At the start of this year i went through serious issues with a male resulting in being played and used and lied too etc .My best friend also turned her back on me leading me to have serious trust issues.I also now freak out and worry about anything that comes to boys and friends worried they are going to turn on me or play me which leads me to self sabotage and push them away espeically males which i am doing now pushing one away not thinking im good enough and will be played and nothing will work out . anyone else have this issue??

Feels like I'm an extra in a movie about my life

replies: 5

Hi All, First time posting and I made this account just because I need some help. Also, this going to be a long one so get comfy. A little bit of background about me first; A few years ago I went through about 30months of severe depression and anxiety, I have been hospitalized and have had treatment for my illnesses. Since mid last year I have been in remission and have been living a great life with only a few minor hiccups along the way. A little more personal but I am a promising young athlete with lots of potential (or so I've been told). I also have a good group of friends and a great career/life in general. Anyway, this last month has been very difficult and I don't understand why. I seem to have everything going for me but I still feel terrible. It's hard to explain without getting to specific but I'd say I just feel so lonely, all the time. Now, since I have had treatment in the past I've been actively trying to go out and see friends and socialise to try and combat these feelings but I still find myself feeling utterly alone, even in the direct company of my friends. I had a very hurtful experience as well where I invited roughly 10~ of my friends over to my house, they all had a great time but only one person had a conversation with me. I just sat there, in the middle of everything, completely unacknowledged and ignored, in my own home for my own hang that I had arranged. I'm also finding that even in the company of my friends I no longer enjoy their presence and I want them to leave. I just feel like I don't have anything in common with them anymore, and I don't know why. So now my lonely thoughts are telling me to find new friends, so I've jumped on to some of those meet apps But alas, zero responses over weeks of trying and it's just so demoralizing. I just feel abandoned but I deserve it because I had 'outgrown' my friends? Anyways, this loneliness is now starting to effect my career and I'm not performing as well, which is only reinforcing those feelings of deserving to be isolated and that I'm a failure. And now having those other factors of my life that I used to rely on become unsteady I'm starting to question everything I do and my self-worth is plummeting everyday. I'm going to stop the monologue there before I get too specific but hopefully you get the gist. Anyone got ideas/things I could look into?

i hate myself

replies: 55

i genuinely hate myself. there is not one thing i like about the way i look, what i can do or my personality. i do musical theatre, which a few years ago was something i thought would be great for confidence and since i loved singing, but it made me realise how bad i am. i cant stop comparing myself to my friends and just constantly feel worthless. when the topic of self love starts up i just want to cry because ive tried so hard to change but i cant love myself for who i am. musical theatre and singing was something i was once interested in but now hate doing but i cant quit because without it ill have no friends. plus, ive always had a difficult time making friends so ive already gone to a psychologist about it and moved schools within the past few months. i just dont know what to do but if i show any sign of doubting myself, people think im attention seeking when i cant help it. i practically now use it as sarcastic humour to hide my true feelings and how i just want to breakdown. why am i not good enough? why couldnt i have been anyone else? i just constantly feel useless, irrelevant and ugly

Struggling between choosing my mum or dad :(

replies: 3

Hi everyone, im I 15 years old and when I was 7 years old my nana got parental responsibility over me and my dad and mum got visitation rights. Ever since my nana has allowed my mum to still live with us even after taking out an AVO against her and immediately ignoring it. She and my mum absolutely hate my dad and the fact that I still see him on saturdays. The fact is I really like my dad, he has 2 kids and a really nice wife and he genuinely wants me to succeed. My nana constantly puts me down and sometimes is nice but the problem is i have a feeling she’s very toxic. Recently while I’m at school I feel the need to make sure I call her once during the school to make sure she’s not mad at me or in a bad mood for when I get home. I’m really not sure what to do, she also banned me from doing school debating and extra curriculars because she says I can wait until I’m 16. On top of this I got a job offer which she supported until I actually got it and made fun of me for it and called the manager behind my back declining the offer. Do you think this is because she likes having control? My mum still lives with us and whenever she drunk she always blames nana for making her the way she is. Anyway next year I choose where I live and I want to choose my dad but I’ve lived her with my nana my whole life and she often says really awful things about me and even though I don’t believe them it scares me that I might go from one bad situation to a worse one. I’m genuinely scared as I’m also not allowed to study very often for school and I have to clean first or do something for her. For some reason I still love her with all my heart and sometimes she can be nice I’m just really confused right now and I never feel safe and at the moment my future is scaring me because she and my mum have no interests in my grades or future and laughed at me for wanting to do nursing. I would really appreciate some advice right now because things are getting worse and I wanted to get my medication changed but she told my doctor I’m fine which I’m not.

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Confused about the future replies: 1

Body, Anxiety and Depression replies: 2

help? replies: 2

Dealing with depression and a long term relationship ending replies: 5

I have reached rock bottom replies: 10

Devalue my feelings replies: 3

Constant Worrying replies: 2

Feels like I'm an extra in a movie about my life replies: 5

i hate myself replies: 55

Struggling between choosing my mum or dad :( replies: 3