Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Comedown Issues

replies: 2

This may sound minor but I wanted to get it out there, Recently I have been experiencing extreme comedowns after enjoyable events in my life. Three events in particular have really impacted me. 1. A couple of years ago I went to visit my family in the UK for a few weeks on my own. This was a pretty monumental step for me, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. In fact, apart from coming home to see my direct relatives I had very little reason to want to return at all. After coming back I fell into deep depression for a good few months and struggled with returning to the boring school life I had left behind for three weeks. I'm sure everyone experiences post-holiday blues to some degree but it was to the point where I was crying in bed at night. 2. I entered a youth rock competition with my band and we did very well. It was a pretty large competition and certainly the largest crowd we have ever performed in front of. We performed our set almost perfectly and I came down from the stage in a state I can only describe as ecstasy. We also made friends with a couple of other acts. In the days following the competition I began to feel more and more depressed that it was over, that I would have to wait another year to enter again. Once again, this seriously impacted my life and made me feel unmotivated and directionless when starting new things. 3. Recently I attended my college band camp which I was sure I would not enjoy. Surprisingly, I made some great friends and had some great laughs. Unfortunately, all of these friends were from my school's sister school and It is highly likely I wont see most of them for another year. I enjoyed my time with them more than my regular friends and now that I am back I am starting to question whether I am in a productive relationship as well as feeling the same lack of motivation as before. Once again, I know these sound minor but they are starting to ruin my mood in enjoyable situations. I often find myself consciously making an effort to enjoy certain events or feeling sad when they happen because 'I'll never experience this again'. I'm finding it extremely difficult to live in the moment and enjoy life as this feeling is beginning to dominate my life. Thankfully I am not on drugs, from this experience I think I would fall apart on them. If you have any advice please let me know. Thanks.

22 years old, male, massively sexually frustrated and depressed

replies: 13

Hey everyone; for the last few months, and on many prior occasions, concerns about sexual contact, loneliness etc have been like a leaden weight in my mind. I'll put down a few connected specific thoughts and some questions, in the hopes of getting some advice, any general thoughts, and just maybe giving support to others who are going through the same sorts of struggles. A snippet of context for you: I'm a 22 year old male. I have severe depression, anxiety and OCD. I've always had these but things really kicked up a notch or ten in late high school and uni. I stopped uni after a year, and for the few years since I've lived with my parents and been on various meds with very limited success. I don't usually have all 3 main conditions at once. Right now the stand out is depression and it's mainly connected to being very sexually frustrated - I've had two sexual experiences, firstly with a friend (she wanted a relationship with me, I didn't feel the same way but she was the first non-family girl I'd ever talked to (I was 20 then) and I was totally clueless). Second was with my first girlfriend, now ex, early last year. All I can think about recently, literally for large sections of each day, is how much I crave physical intimacy, how lonely I am (I only have a couple of friends, old school guys), how insanely jealous I am of other young people who seem to be able to get sex whenever they want with whoever they want, how unattractive/inadequate I feel, how low (wait, let's be honest, non existent) my self esteem is etc etc. And a surging storm cell of unanswered questions: how do other young people get sex so often, so easily? Where do they even have sex given that most still live at their parents' houses at my age?? (that one really confuses me!) I've gotten the impression that most girls these days say they don't want meaningless sexual encounters and don't like guys who are pushy wanting sex, yet I also get the impression that everyone (including said girls) is having sex all the time - how do I possibly reconcile that?? I'm an odd type of guy in that I'd preference genuine intimacy over quick hookups (honestly I wouldn't be against the latter but have never had an opportunity). I'm introverted, nerdy, value sincere, deep conversation, loyalty, commitment, not really a party person - not really attractive things at all! The cultural standard of having lots of sex by my age, the jealously, confusion, longing - is even a hug too much to ask for??

Anxiety overwhelms any desire to get help

replies: 4

I have been having problems with anxiety and depression for years now. In the last few months I was able to get onto headspace to get some help, because that didn't involve talking to anyone except by webchat. It's gotten to the point now where they're suggesting I go to doctor or GP or something and get better help but I can't do it. Just thinking about it gives me panic attacks. It's so bad, like there's so much wrong with my life and how I feel but I'm too scared to do anything about it. I know I need help and I want it, but I just don't see it actually happening because of my anxiety. I don't know how to get past that anxiety even just for a little bit.

Anxiety from parents

replies: 8

Hi there, for about 5 years now i have been suffering from anxiety from emotional bullying from my mother, my father is never around for her because he works all week, and she is hurting because of this, she has outburts which can be 1 a month to 1 a day. And she is constantly yelling and screaming to me and telling me how horrible and selfish i am, but i have stuck by her all my life when my sisters have left and hurt her. I do anything she asks and i never say no i am always here for her and it hurts so much, once she has thrown my xmas/birthday presents to her in my face and said i dont want them, and has been so angry at dad before she has pushed me in the pantry and left me there to cry from horror and now i have had a boyfriend for 1 year now and she is blaming everything on him to get to me and making me feel bad for leaving her one night a week so i can stay at his. The other day i took hold of my anxiety and stood up for myself i have never felt so proud in my life until a couple mins after i have been told i have changed since i have had a boyfriend and she yells over the top of me when i want to have an adult discussion with her, little does she know i was sick of her emotional bullying for 5 years and wanted it to stop. she comes up with the littlest things to put me down and hurt me and i get anxiety so bad because i just want everyone to get along, i went to the doctors with her a couple of years ago to talk about anxiety as i had lost 10kg in a week and the dr informed me i could only go on anti depressants and my mother shot up and said no! If you have a problem you speak to me! , and i could never do that because she believes what she wants to believe and never tales what i have to say in account, i feel helpless and if i move in with my boyfriends ill only get thrown in my fave how i am abandoning my family. And i feel like there is no other way out than oblivion. Please help me

Staying Stagnet

replies: 2

What do I feel like ? Sad ? Lost ? Lazy? Confused, frustrated, angry, annoyed , disappointed, secure ? Loved ?? Left out ? Betrayed yet nothing has been done. Childish throwing a little tantrum. Pissed off because life isn't great yet I'm living comfortably. Hi I'm A-non, im a 21 ex apprentice metal fabricator (NO I WILL NOT TOUCH A TRADE) who lost his job a year ago, spent the next 8 months after that hiding myself in the comfort of myself pity sadness and depression while building bad dissasociative behaviour and then rebuilding my self confidence over that same period just to get a job. Lost it, but now I'm confident enough to normally act like me and go into public which i was scared of doing for 6 months. Had a neverous break down with close family at friends at my 21st (yaaayy what an amazing 21st, no I didn't have a party, my family and friends came last minute to try cheer me up aha.....) that was kinda a turning point for me but yet even so this year felt so shit I still feel like life has so much more worse in stored for me and I don't know if I'm ready for any of it ( NO one isn't) I'm an emotional person at heart when I say I care I do and when I say I don't care I still care, especially with people I dare call friends. I may not be the best person myself but, I sure do try a lot harder then most I know I have tried harder than most, I'm pretty realistic and consistently talking to myself and worrying about the things I do, but I've gotten to a point where now I'm just shallow, empty, transparent and unmotivated, you could pretty much say that when you need me that's not me. I'm sad and I want it to stop so can I just stop it?? Thanks for reading this guys, none of this Makes sense but it's better than letting my friends and family how I'm really going because they frustrate me and make me happy but in the end I'm really just Exghausted with life and I'm only 21.

i need help

replies: 2

Idk how to start this but I am an 18 year old with autism and adhd along with depression, learning disablities and anxiety. These abnormalities are ruining my satisfaction with life and I'm always depressed. I find it hard to understand other people and their emotions and I usually avoid socializing with others because of this. My facebook recently got terminated which made me go into a manic state because that's one of the only places I feel accepted, I'm part of a weird side of facebook where nobody knows each other irl and we all share "edgy" and esoteric memes and most of are mentally ill, kinda like the dark web of fb. I enjoy being a part of this tight knit community since I feel they understand me better than normal people do. I've had accounts deleted before and sometimes it's been months after I made an account and it's usually entirely random. I also struggle with the effects of my ADHD and I'll usually walk for hours on end or pace around my unit, I find it hard to concentrate on anything and I struggled at school because of this, to the point I ended up dropping out. My medications don't seem to help much and I'm too scared to tell my psychiatrist to change them and every visit I just end up listening to his recommendations without any input of my own I feel so disconected from everyone due to my autism but also my esoteric and bizarre taste in online humor that most people who aren't a part of the side of the internet I usually dwell wouldn't quite get. This sounds silly but the internet is a very large part of my self identity and I wouldn't be the same person without I'm also a very self conscious and insecure person about every aspect of myself an I hate being criticised for my actions and the insecurities are so severe to the point where I avoid leaving the house during the day and end up staying home and sleeping What I'm basically asking for is some advice on how to cope with having disorders that make me very different from other people and live my life the best way possible

dealing with unpleasant memories

replies: 2

Hi, I do not want to say any specific things, but I have some unpleasant memories. These memories make me feel guilty, scared, panicked and drives me crazy. It's been almost a year since the incidents that gave me these memories, I'm fine at most times, but whenever I remember, I feel out of breath and scared. When I am distracted I feel normal, but whenever I'm alone in the dark or when I see something that relates to the incident I get triggered and feel horrible. I do not have suitable people to talk to about this, and I am not sure if it would even help. I have friends who has the same experience, but they do not seem troubled at all, while I'm here feeling super guilty and panicked whenever I remember about the incidents. So I cannot talk to them. I do not know what to do, simply distract myself? But I cannot distract myself forever, and I cannot forget about anything that happened. I do not know how to deal with these memories, please give me some advice.

Need a little advice

replies: 5

This year has been a bit of a difficult one for me and I've been upset none stop for a while now I'm not sure how to stop feeling so awful. I don't know how to go speak to someone and the idea of it seems weird to me. I was recently diagnosed with PCOS and endometriosis, I thought I handled the news well but recently I've been getting upset about it and keep overthinking everything now. I have also had problems with friends or my lack of friends. I lost a close friend. D roommate this year due to a very long story that his new girlfriend decided she hated me and would ignore my presence even though we lived in the same house. She has since moved out but obviously because shes still dating someone I know I continue to see her and she's very rude when I do and she insists of socially excluding me and standing in front of me and blatantly ignoring me and people see this but don't really acknowledge or tell her how rude it is but will tell me that they disagree with her behaviour but just tell me to ignore it and pretend it doesn't bother me but I'm finding it harder and harder for it to not get to me. Why do people see something wrong,recognise its wrong but not do anything about it. One of my only friends moved in with her and they are obviously very close and I can't help but feel isolated again because I'm not allowed over to the house and my friend says that her thoughts of me don't affect her and she still wants to be my friend and that she believes the girl is being very childish and rude but won't tell her that and won't invite me in because she's concerned about upsetting her new roommate but doesn't consider how it might make me feel. What should I do? How can I stop feeling shitty when I see her and how can I tell my friend that her room mate is a manipulator when she's very fond of her because they haven't known each other well for very long?

Partner suddenly packed her things and left

replies: 2

So my partner of 2 and a half years suddenly packed her things and left me and wouldn’t communicate what was going on. 2 weeks ago I’ve noticed she had been working strenuous hours at her work for me supporting ember stress with outings together and spa days for her. Thursday she began saying she felt like she had let me down because she had been working such long hours and by the time she was home I was asleep and she would leave early morning before I was awake. She voiced she was confused with what she wanted to do with her uni and career and was a bit confused overall, throughout this whole time she was reassuring saying not to worry about us we just need to reconnect. Friday night I asked if she wanted to go on a date night together and she was happy to do this, it wasn’t until later that day she decided to go for a drink with her sister instead. Saturday she seemed a lot better after her gym session we went shopping together and got her pre gifts and presents for Christmas that’s she wanted so things seemed fine and again she was saying stop worrying about us we just need to reconnect over the holidays. Same night she left to babysit at her bosses place and stayed with them (friends for over 8 years) she packed some things and said she would let me know if she would be home. It wasn’t until 12am I messaged to see if everything’s okay that she replied she wasn’t coming home. Sunday she was at her mum and dads for the day and again she reassured me that morning to stop worrying about why would she give something so special up between us. That’s afternoon she called me and said she was grabbing her stuff and moving out to stay with her parents. when she came by her parents and her boss from work arrived to take her stuff away, she could barely speak to me and would not communicate with me at all with what was going on. Her parents or her boss could barely speak or look at me and I’m left with so many questions not answered. All I have been told is give her time and after she grabbed her things she took us off her socials etc. I just don’t know what happened why would she reassure me of everything and say we just reconnect then suddenly pack up and leave, when we first met I told her my insecurities in a relationship etc and she had always said that communication is important and how not to give up and work together etc. Just feel everything has been contradicted and I’m feeling so lost and don’t know what to do

my boyfriend’s depression is driving me mad

replies: 1

the title makes me sound like an awful person. honestly, i really think i may be. first off, this boy and i are not dating officially; we both decided we were not in the right head space for a relationship but have basically ended up in a relationship anyway. we are both 16-17 and struggling with our own lives. i don’t know how much detail is needed but we’ve gone through a lot together. in the past year, however, his depression has really really gone to shit. he struggles with his family and is drinking every night that he can, stealing out of his parents’ cellar. i hate it when he’s drunk and made him promise over and over to stop drinking but he’s never kept a single one. we’ve had too many arguments about his drinking, and i’ve recently gone from mildly annoyed to completely furious when it happens. even more recently, he’s turned to self harm. i realise that my immediate response to this is to call the cops and/or tell his parents. but every time, he’s done it when i’ve had no access to wifi. the first time he did it, he promised to not do it again, except he broke that promise too. every time it happens, all i do is cry and seethe after. our online chat history is 60% memes and 40% fighting. i hate it. he is inconsolable when he is in a depressive episode; if i tell him that smth is not his fault he will question it over and over til i get mad and then he drops it. i feel like it’s reached a point where our relationship is rlly toxic. the thing is, he’s never once gotten upset at me for my breakdowns. he’s stayed with me through the lowest of lows and right now i can’t stand him even when i know his life is not easy. i cant lose him. not even in a obsessive teenage romance way but in that he is one of the only things that keep me going. but i don’t want to always be mad about something that i cant control. i know i’m in the wrong and i really don’t know what to do. am i being a horrible person? how do i stop getting mad? or should we take a break and get some space from each other?

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Comedown Issues replies: 2

22 years old, male, massively sexually frustrated and depressed replies: 13

Anxiety overwhelms any desire to get help replies: 4

Anxiety from parents replies: 8

Staying Stagnet replies: 2

i need help replies: 2

dealing with unpleasant memories replies: 2

Need a little advice replies: 5

Partner suddenly packed her things and left replies: 2

my boyfriend’s depression is driving me mad replies: 1