I feel like I'm boring

[Rhicooper7]

All the other people I know my age (I'm almost 17) are going to parties and experimenting with drugs and alcohol and I'm unpopular and ugly so I've never been to a party or been invited I feel like I'm wasting my teenage years while everyone around me is having fun I don't want to look back and regret being a shut in because people didn't like me does anyone else feel this way and is there anyway to fix it

[Rhicooper7]

Everyone whose posted here has been so kind and helpful I will try to follow your advice and hold on for the year and a bit that I have left of highschool I guess I just got to the point of where I was like if you can't beat them join then me and my all friends all have been bullied so and I do love them all so much now that we're all older we're just mostly ignored I just sometimes wish to see what life could be like on the other side what it's like to be liked by a lot of people seem pretty and hot to guys and like I said before not be so invisible I will try to hold onto who I am but it's so hard when I'm constantly being put down for it for liking metal and having short hair and stuff like that I think one of the biggest sources of this is being friends with a popular girl we were friends since year 8 and moved school together she has always been popular and does a lot of drugs and parties and stuff like that everyone likes her and she has any guy she wants it's disheartening when your just called the emo freak and the only guy whose ever paid attention to you and likes the same things as you basically admits that he uses you for sex I just want to feel good about myself but it feels like a losing battle again thank you all for trying to help me you've made me feel like I matter just a little bit

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Rhicooper7,

Thanks for your post.

Everything you said has really gotten to me because I wish I knew then when I was in school what I know now. It's so hard to imagine that life could be different outside of it when all you feel is invisible.

I think it's kind of funny in a way because when you're in high school everything thats 'different' is bad. A lot of my friends were doing drugs and smoking and having sex and I wasn't doing any of that so that was bad. My friends liked metal and pop and rock because that was cool and I liked alternative stuff and that was different. I've got red hair and nobody else did so that's different, and I couldn't play an instrument or any sports so that's different and it's all bad.

I also get what it's like to feel ugly. At night when I went to bed I'd just wish that I looked like anybody else at school, just so maybe I'd be accepted and 'okay'. I looked in the mirror and hated what I saw, just like you probably do too - even though I think you're pretty you probably don't see it.

I feel like I'm whining a little but I guess I'm trying to say that I've been there too. High school is awkward and awful and I wish that I could show you how much bigger the world is outside of it. Where you will be seen and heard and different is good because it makes you you. Hold on and keep fighting. and you do matter. You do you do you do. Believe it.

[Jessicatherese94]

Hi Rhicooper7,

Growing up I was never really friends with the 'popular' kids either. The reality is that even if you have one or two really genuine friends you are already ahead. The fact that you have friends that you can go to concerts and shopping with is awesome! If I were you, I would enjoy the time that you have with them in the last year or so you have of school. Once school is over you probably wont see these 'popular' people as much (or at all), but it's the friends you have now that can remain your friends for life. When I was 17 and 18 I wasn't experimenting with drugs at all, and it's actually a very bad idea to experiment with any drugs (especially at such a young age as it can actually alter your brain chemistry etc). I know it's hard, but you can try to cultivate the friendships you have and focus on self growth! Keep doing your own thing and be yourself (so cliche, but one of the most important life lessons of them all).

[BballJ]

Hi Rhicooper7,

Everyone matters and your friends know that you matter and that is what should count the most. When we rely on others to validate ourselves it sends us into this spiral when you constantly just want to liked by everyone and have them just validate you but then you don't have the chance to truly express yourself, so what if you like metal.. if that's what you like then that's your choice. It's all about owning the things you like and accepting it's who you are and loving the fact that is who you are.

My best,

Jay