Depression from loneliness

[Xaricus]

I'm 20 and in Uni. I never had friends before but I would like to have some.I have bad social anxiety and some amount of social awkwardness. I find it very, very tough to approach people. I went to my university counsellor, and it didn't help.

Sometimes I post memes of my depression on 9gag for advice but people just kept on saying that it will be better. Many tell me to start exercising but I can't as I have no will whatsoever right now. I think it's effecting my studies. I have no hobbies except playing video games.

I started drinking and smoking to deal with the pain but I don't do them often as cigarettes are expensive and I don't like the taste of alcohol.

How do I make friends? (Be as detailed as possible)

[Xaricus]

Edit : also, I have exams starting this week and I can't focus...

[HamSolo01]

hey

i read your post and i know EXACTLY how you are feeling. Replace 20 with 23 and this post of yours might as well have been written by me.

Approaching people is tough. Even for those really confident guys. Why else would they go on about it when they do it?

the piece of advice i find most helpful when these moments hit is that "feeling" it wont last forever. Theres a difference between feeling something and reality.

Thats not meant to mean ignore it. You cant. You have to feel this way. But you cant let circumstances dictate you the whole time.

Itll pass my friend. It always does. Then when you feel a bit better work on what triggers your anxiety and what you can do to fix it and get help.

as for friends? no idea. I guess be comfortable in who you are. Sounds impossible i know, but own your anxiety and dont view it as the only part of you. You are more than anxiety my man, always remember this.

[james1]

Hey xarcius,

Hamsolo had a good point about trying to be comfortable in who you are. It'll take a while, but I found that trying to go on pub crawls and things - stuff that wasn't me - didn't work.

Instead, I found a group of people who liked board games and stuck with them.

Have you ever tried any "meet up" groups? You can find the MeetUp website online and they have groups for lots of different hobbies. That could be a good place to start because you do something you enjoy generally in the company of people who are more like you.

James

[159357]

I am in a similar situation with focus and loneliness, similar to hamsolo01.

The best thing for this is to not think hard about anything, treat everything as serious, but a serious game. GET LOTS OF SLEEP. sleep as much as you can, don't stay up late playing video games or anything as i have done, it just makes it worse.