Dear Dice~
It looks like you have not been answered very quickly, and I'm sorry about that. It's no reflection on you, or what you are posting about, it's just the nature of this place, sometimes it just happens. A pity as you sound as if you need someone to understand and care.
So welcome, there are people here who have had hard times, so will relate to yours. Depression is a powerful illness and colors the whole world, making everything horrible. That plus the tension makes for a miserable time.
Having no place you feel you belong is hard. You mentioned your dad and if I understand you then the way he acts makes things worse - have I got that right?. You also mentioned your grandparents, are they better? Mine are the happy memories of my younger days.
I expect there are other things apart from your dad which are making your life hard too.
Do you mind if I ask about treatment? Depression is sometimes impossible to deal wiht by oneself and decent medical help can make a big difference. I simply kept getting worse until I had the proper treatment.
Someone to see you , understand what you are going though is very possible here. If you would like to keep talking and saying more about yourself and what is wrong that would help. We would like to be here for you
Croix
