Young people

Sibling Failing Uni

replies: 1

Hi everyone, I'm at uni and have a sister at uni as well. I'm not doing amazingly at uni but at least have passed all my subjects, but my sister is a different story. I always thought it was odd that she didn't seem to spend nearly as much time as I ... View more

Hi everyone, I'm at uni and have a sister at uni as well. I'm not doing amazingly at uni but at least have passed all my subjects, but my sister is a different story. I always thought it was odd that she didn't seem to spend nearly as much time as I did at uni, but she always said she was doing fine and I believed her. I found out recently that she has been lying to the whole family and has actually failed a lot of her units. I'm assuming it's because she really doesn't like uni and doesn't want to be there (because she's smart and would definitely pass if she tried and I get the vibe from her that she doesn't enjoy it).I completely understand why she has lied as I would be terrified of telling my parents that I wasn't sure uni was for me or even that I had failed a unit as they're very big on academics (there was never a question of whether all my siblings would go to uni it was just assumed). I want to help her because it's killing me to know that she's just sort of throwing her life away at this point because obviously I want the best for her. I want her to understand that uni isn't the only option and she should maybe take some time to find out what she's really passionate about because at this rate she's not going to graduate and get a job (and obviously my parents are going to find out what's going on at that point). I'm completely lost on what to do - She doesn't know I know she failed and I don't want her to think I'm being patronising and telling her what to do but this is getting out of control. I'm also terrified that I'll say something and she won't do anything about it because it's causing me such severe anxiety that I can barely sleep and I don't know what I can even do to help Any advice would be much appreciated

I feel lost, worthless, and hate myself.

replies: 1

Hi. Wow. This is incredibly awkward. I don't know where to begin. Always been bad at expressing myself. Anyway, I had a pretty typical life growing up - Or at least, I thought it was normal at the time. My grandmother raised and home-schooled me whil... View more

Hi. Wow. This is incredibly awkward. I don't know where to begin. Always been bad at expressing myself. Anyway, I had a pretty typical life growing up - Or at least, I thought it was normal at the time. My grandmother raised and home-schooled me while my mother worked. A mother that would get up, have a coffee, go to work and we'd be lucky if she would have time to say hi before dinner. The fights. Screaming, fists raised. Countless times my mother would say something to set my grandmother off, and then THE GLOVES CAME OFF. Multiple times I intervened by screaming "I'M GOING TO EXPLODE IF YOU DON'T STOP!" - Before I could really comprehend suicide, I guess. A few times I would have to grab a flying fist before it made contact. I saw it as my job to keep the family together. I mean, it was my fault, right? All I wanted growing up was a family that cared. Not even that, just a family would have been nice. My uncle became a drug addict and left with my cousins back in the early 2000s. My grandfather is a priest (!!) and always creeped me out as a kid. Honestly, I can live without him. My father... probably doesn't know I exist. My step-grandfather was, and is a drunk who is probably up in a pub somewhere. I love him, but we don't keep in contact My mother would always put her things on the same spot on the bench. Her purse, with her phone on top, with her keys next to them. My grandmother would try to get her attention by putting my report cards and tests and homework between her purse and phone, but would she look? "Maybe later" One day, just a few months before I turned 14, I was in the back yard and heard screaming. Came back in, my grandmother is holding a knife in the kitchen and my mother goes running past (Note: Her face is unmarked) - Five minutes later, she comes out of the bathroom with a cut on her face and blood dripping down her cheek/chin. "YOUUUUUUUU CUT ME, YOU BITCH!" At this time, she had met a new boyfriend (the newest of 4 in the past two years) online three weeks prior; She got in the car and left. At least, until she came back with the police. Looking back, I should have said no, but this moment defined the rest of my life. I was kidnapped, legally, and dropped back off the next day dazed, confused, and crying. Getting to the limit and there's so much shit to go. Will leave the rest Even to this day, I feel like it's my fault the family is such a broken mess. I know I can't do anything to change it, but it would be nice to be... Normal.

Need help plus advice urgently

replies: 6

Gday there guys and gals. Here's a little bit of back story and what my situation is. So I'm a 25yo male and have been the sole income provider for my household for nearly 7 years. (Providing for my mum and 4 younger siblings) Dad left when my younge... View more

Gday there guys and gals. Here's a little bit of back story and what my situation is. So I'm a 25yo male and have been the sole income provider for my household for nearly 7 years. (Providing for my mum and 4 younger siblings) Dad left when my youngest sister was born and hasn't helped with anything since.. (last I heard was he was living it up in Thailand with a completely new family) Now my main problem is that I have recently lost my job (have now got down to 5 dollars to my name), my car was written off this week (which my insurance won't cover).. Bills are piling up, our electricity is about to be cut, my mum broke her back earlier in the year and the medical bills for this are insane. But the worst of it is I haven't been able to buy food for nearly 2 weeks and the house has ran completely out of food and my younger siblings have only had bread and cheese to eat for nearly 5 days. Myself and mum have had nothing to eat at all in 2. (Trying to preserve what little is left for the younger ones). We also live in the middle of no-where (like an hour from the closest town and that's only a tiny village) the house we own is also nearly beyond livable.. (no running water inside falling down around us) so there's no support network to get help from. It's like I'm in a deep deep hole with no way of climbing out of it. Everything in my world has just become completely stuffed within a 3 week period. I'm meant to providing for my family and I can't even do that anymore... at the end of the day I haven't got the slightest bit of care for my own well being, but I haven't slept in 3 days just constantly worrying about how my mother and siblings are meant to survive. I don't expect this to help, but I needed to tell someone... And anyone I've tried to talk to so far just shuts me down and calls me a whinger and makes me feel even worse for not being able to do anything.

Struggles

replies: 1

Hey all, 25 year old male checking in. I’ve never done this before but thought I’d give it a go. I’m struggling, very badly. I have very low self esteem, no confidence what so ever, I’m anxious all the time, I have pretty bad social phobia, my depres... View more

Hey all, 25 year old male checking in. I’ve never done this before but thought I’d give it a go. I’m struggling, very badly. I have very low self esteem, no confidence what so ever, I’m anxious all the time, I have pretty bad social phobia, my depression is at an all time high. I have mates, but not close ones and they are busy living their own happy lives so I’m alone 90% of the time. I live away from my family and I have tried dating but as you could imagine it’s a bit of a disaster for me. I’m also not an overly attractive young man, I haven’t learnt to fully accept it yet but I’m trying. It is what it is. I have a full time job, I also train Brazilian jui jitsu twice a week and I am in the army reserves so I stay busy during the week but when the weekends roll around, nothing. Just pure loneliness, there is only so many times you can go to the gym. My social anxiety is stopping me from getting out there on my own and meeting new people and making new friends. It’s even stopping me from having a good time with my exsisting friends. So all in all, I’d just like some down to earth advice from someone that’s been or is going through something similar. I am seeing a psychologist, but to be honest, she is useless. So I figure I gotta fix myself on my own. Kind regards, J.

It might just be cause I’m a teenager

replies: 1

Hey,I’m new. I don’t have real problems I don’t think, or a mental illness. I just always have this nagging weight on me that I never really talk to anyone about so this seemed like a good idea I guess. Im in high school, I’m still a teenager obvious... View more

Hey,I’m new. I don’t have real problems I don’t think, or a mental illness. I just always have this nagging weight on me that I never really talk to anyone about so this seemed like a good idea I guess. Im in high school, I’m still a teenager obviously so this might be apart of growing up. I sit in a group of amazing people, we have a really good friendship. The problem is, there’s always drama and I always have this urge to fix things. I do end up in the middle of all the drama, but that’s just because I want to help. When I see one of my friends down, all I want to do is help, I feel down when they are. I even cry myself to sleep over the fact that I can’t help. My helpnevef works. I just make things worse. I feel like a burden sometimes, like maybe they’d all be better off without me. I mean,I easily piss everyone off, I can’t help with anything. Idk I just feel irrelevant, no they don’t make me feel this way, I just have this horrible paranoia that everyone around me has ill feelings towards me, to the point where I have people because I think they hate me. This then leads to me hating myself and the cycle just continues from there. I know none of this makes sense. I don’t really know what to do. I don’t know how to help my friends who two of them suffer from depression. I also never seem to look out for myself. The other problem with me is I see myself in the mirror (TMI) when I get out of the shower, and I just hate it so much. Sometimes I come to the conclusion that I should eat smaller amounts or not at all. I’ve started wathcing my calories (800 or less a day now) and walk to loose weight. All this stupid stuff I do just because I think no one likes me so I should improve myself. This then alllllll makes me feel down. Like I have this weight over me, no not just on the scales. Idk it’s hadd to decipher. Is this just all apart of being a teenage girl? Am I just being silly?

lonley

replies: 2

I just feel very lonely these days I try to hang with people but they just ignore me and pretend I'm not there I try to speak but get told to shut up your opinion isn't valued I have any friends and I get bullied every single I get called fat, ugly, ... View more

I just feel very lonely these days I try to hang with people but they just ignore me and pretend I'm not there I try to speak but get told to shut up your opinion isn't valued I have any friends and I get bullied every single I get called fat, ugly, stupid and dumb I love helping people but I have no one to help am friendly but no one wants to be friends with me ever since yr 8 I've been struggling and just recently it has gotten really bad to witch now I have depression, server anxiety, I take medication for that and I see a counsellor and have been thinking negative thoughts about myself I really and truly don't wanna be lonely anymore I just want someone, anyone, to talk to me and help me achieve what u wanna achieve

Just want someone to talk to

replies: 7

Hi everyone, before I start I am just writing because I want someone to understand/ hear me so it’s okay if people can’t fix much about it. I have issue with my older sister that I don’t know what to do anymore. I am aware that she does have issues d... View more

Hi everyone, before I start I am just writing because I want someone to understand/ hear me so it’s okay if people can’t fix much about it. I have issue with my older sister that I don’t know what to do anymore. I am aware that she does have issues dealing with stress and insecurities, which can explain why she would hit out at people and try and bring them down. The problem is that I feel like I am suffering the consequences of this and can’t get away. Although it may sound dramatic, to be honest I get scared if she may be stressed or angered because I would have to suffer some pretty bad verbal abuse and sometimes it would get physical. It would usually be yelling at me about how I’m stupid and saying I’m useless. This obviously caused some issues with confidence and self-esteem and sometimes still does. The problem is that it would happen in phases, a few days later she would be happy and nice to me again. However, the things she would say and yell at me would stay with me I couldn’t forget. They would cause me to get extremely anxious or feel a bit depressed. My dad really doesn’t care about any of this, but my mum sometimes knows how I feel, But I would always have to “let it go” and forgive her because we are sisters. I would forgive her and be kind to her, but as soon as she would get aggressive and hurt me again it would feel 10X worse because I feel like she just keeps walking all over me and is allowed to do this without any repercussions. I have tried just cutting her off and not engaging with her when she is in a better mood, and then when she would hit out at me again it wouldn’t hurt as much because I was expecting it. The problem is though, that this would be forcing me to be on guard and not be my happy self around my family. We are going away on a holiday soon and I just don’t know what to do. I do love her, and we do have fun when she is not stressed and is in a good mood. However, I worry about being hurt again, and its driving me crazy trying to handle it. Thankyou very much for reading this

First true love, first break up, I feel deranged.

replies: 10

Hi all, so I'm a guy and I feel like I can't express my feelings or anyone to my mates because they'll think I am weak, I have only spoken about this with one very close friend. So I am resorting to the forums for help. I had my first real relationsh... View more

Hi all, so I'm a guy and I feel like I can't express my feelings or anyone to my mates because they'll think I am weak, I have only spoken about this with one very close friend. So I am resorting to the forums for help. I had my first real relationship with someone, she was from Europe, she is 18 and I am 19, and she was studying at a university for 6 months. I met her on the first day out of sheer luck and wanted to get to know her more because I have always wanted to live in her country (and still do now). Fast forward 6 months, we have been pretty much head over heels for one another, we were each others first everything, being physical, intimacy, sex, love. She really loved me, she told me her parents never showed their love to her much because she was the middle child, but my love for her was gradually making her a better person, as months went on, she would be more expressive towards me. Love hit me like a train, I felt like she was my soulmate, the kind of love that you can feel circulating through your veins every time you were with eachother. We broke up because of distance, we tried to get it work, I flew to Europe 3 months ago, for a month. I can only visit her about 2 or 3 times a year..for a month each. She wanted to break it up because she felt too much pain, it was her choice, but she would like for us to be back together again when I decide to graduate in 3-5 years and move to her country. She wanted us to stay best friends for now, and only time will tell here is where I need help; I loved her so much. Am I crazy to generally feel that even though we haven't been together for even a year, I would do anything for her? That's not expression. Literally. This is not normal, most people..especially guys, don't feel this way. If she had a car accident, or something happened to her and she was mentally disabled, I would still love her so much. Once I got attached that's it, it's either ride or die, If I couldn't see her for a year, I wouldn't care, I would stay loyal. That's how hard I fell I'm just an 18 year old guy, who has been crying constantly for these past few days, I can't control my emotions, I can't go outside or I'll just break. Because I know we have an opportunity left, we broke up not because of hatred but because it isn't our time yet. So I all can think about is what can I do for us to have a better future so I can love her forever. It's not logical to give up on something when there's still so much opportunity left.

Who do you talk to/tell about your mental health issues?

replies: 4

I'm 18 and have OCD, anxiety and depression. I'm unsure of when and who to share this with however and was wondering what other do? I have my psychiatrist to talk to, my parents know my diagnosis (although I share no details with them) and two of my ... View more

I'm 18 and have OCD, anxiety and depression. I'm unsure of when and who to share this with however and was wondering what other do? I have my psychiatrist to talk to, my parents know my diagnosis (although I share no details with them) and two of my very very closest and most trusted friends know. It would probably be easier day to day for people to understand how and why I act as I do sometimes, if more people were to know, but personally I've always seen mental health conditions as private and not something to tell the world. I fear for being treated differently, judged and being attention seeking. Personally, I can find it rather off-putting when people share their own conditions continuously with everyone. So, what does everyone usually do when it comes to telling others about you condition/s? How, who and when do you tell people?

Confused, Depressed, Lonely, and Empty

replies: 1

I am 20 and live overseas with my boyfriend, we met back in our hometown and decided to study abroad. My family is perfect, you can say I have a lot of friends and has no problems in my personal life. I have been with my current boyfriend for almost ... View more

I am 20 and live overseas with my boyfriend, we met back in our hometown and decided to study abroad. My family is perfect, you can say I have a lot of friends and has no problems in my personal life. I have been with my current boyfriend for almost 3 years, He is my first boyfriend and I am his first as well. We're always together and every time he leaves, I feel sad. We started dating in 2015, he lives 1 hour away from me and I always want to see him every day, otherwise, I'll feel empty. In 2016, we decided to go study at the same university and I would sleep in his dorm room every day for 1 year. When our industry placement started, we've been living together until now and I am very happy about it. We work in the same workplace but we have different shifts, he would work from the afternoon till midnight and i start early in the morning till afternoon. When i get home, I usually just wait for him at home so we can sleep together, I even always say no to my friends when they ask me to hang out. And sometimes he would sleepover at his mate's house for 1 night and I would cry at night. And now he's gone home to our hometown for only 6 days but I feel VERY lonely, depressed, and feel like I have no life and what keeps me going is that I am going to see him again. I even count the days so it will feel faster... When he's not with me at night, I would take sleeping pills so that I wouldn't cry at night and sleep longer. The first thing I think about in the morning is him and always him throughout the day. When my friends contact me, I wouldn't answer because I would rather sleep and forget the pain. I feel like people will think i'm overreacting, I feel like I am too, but i don't know what to do... Even doing the dishes requires a lot of energy and I just want to lay down in my bed until he comes back. There was this time where he went on a trip with his friends for 4 days, believe it or not, I didnt go out of my room AT ALL. My mom would bring me food and I didn't even take a shower even though there is a bathroom inside my room. I didn't have any life at all... I talked to my boyfriend about this and he feels sad, he doesn't wanna leave me at all. He always says we'll get through this, just think about when you're gonna see me again. I do know that this is very unhealthy for myself, yet I don't know what I should do...

Pinned discussions

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

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Sibling Failing Uni

replies: 1

I feel lost, worthless, and hate myself.

replies: 1

Need help plus advice urgently

replies: 6

Struggles

replies: 1

It might just be cause I’m a teenager

replies: 1

lonley

replies: 2

Just want someone to talk to

replies: 7

First true love, first break up, I feel deranged.

replies: 10

Who do you talk to/tell about your mental health issues?

replies: 4

Confused, Depressed, Lonely, and Empty

replies: 1

Young people

New to this Forum? Please read this first! replies: 0

Sibling Failing Uni replies: 1

I feel lost, worthless, and hate myself. replies: 1

Need help plus advice urgently replies: 6

Struggles replies: 1

It might just be cause I’m a teenager replies: 1

lonley replies: 2

Just want someone to talk to replies: 7

First true love, first break up, I feel deranged. replies: 10

Who do you talk to/tell about your mental health issues? replies: 4

Confused, Depressed, Lonely, and Empty replies: 1

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

Sibling Failing Uni

replies: 1

I feel lost, worthless, and hate myself.

replies: 1

Need help plus advice urgently

replies: 6

Struggles

replies: 1

It might just be cause I’m a teenager

replies: 1

lonley

replies: 2

Just want someone to talk to

replies: 7

First true love, first break up, I feel deranged.

replies: 10

Who do you talk to/tell about your mental health issues?

replies: 4

Confused, Depressed, Lonely, and Empty

replies: 1