Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Where to start.

replies: 2

It's a never ending cycle really. I'm fairly young, and I love my parents. My mum was in a rather large accident a few years ago so I get separation anxiety when going to sleep at friends houses and leaving my mum home, not knowing if she is safe. However, my mum is constantly putting me down. "You didn't do this right" Why didn't you do this " Why did you say this " and she jumps ahead like I would say something nasty but I wouldn't. Things like "don't tell your friends yo purchased an expensive dress" like she knows I'd never do this? My "best friend" (no longer.. I think) is always rude to me. I'll make a joke and she will tell me to stop being annoying, but someone else will make it and she will laugh. I don't have many people to speak to, who will just tell me to "stop being so dramatic" almost every time i break down in tears I can plan exactly what my mum says. It's always the same. and I'm just in this loop. there is more, but idk.

Help! Conflict with deferring Uni or continuing Uni...

replies: 2

Hi, I posted on here a while a back about how I was unsure about if I should go to University. I have been at Uni now for 4 weeks and that unsure feeling hasn't gone away. Every time I'm at the campus, I feel as though I'm making a wrong decision but I am unsure why. The subjects I am studying are creative writing and theater because being an actress and a novelist is something that I 100% want to do with my life even though I understand that it isn't guaranteed to be a full time employment. I just really want to try to achieve both of these whether it is part time or full time I don't mind, but choosing the right way to go about it is so stressful. I am also in a Spanish course so I can learn to speak to my grandma and Spanish family but maybe I can just teach myself? idk... The census date is coming up and I am now thinking that I should defer Uni for a year just to clear my head and work things out before committing. I feel like studying to be a writer and an actress isn't worth the money I would be in debt with at university as opposed to finding a part time job for the first time, going to tafe and taking private or cheaper acting courses on the side as well as writing my own material or attending writing work shops instead of going to uni. I am extremely shy, introverted and a sensitive 19 year old person with social anxiety and a little depression. I'm just so stuck because I am still unsure with what side I should pick. I don't want to fail or lose my chance of being an actress and novelist just because I didn't go to uni and I don't want to feel inferior or like I'v disappointed anybody. I know my dad is going to be upset and my grandma will be disappointed. Deciding on the future and all this, it's just so overwhelming and stressful and lonely and I feel like I'm being torn a part Am I making any sense? Sorry if I'm not, I can explain it better.

Struggling with Anger and Sadness

replies: 1

I've been struggling with trying to control my anger for a long, long time now and it's effecting my relationship as I lash out at random times for no apparent reason. I become filled with anger and cannot control what I say or do, I have no idea why I get so angry and I always regret what I say or do. Sometimes, I get so mad and just punch things or hurt myself in another way. I constantly say horrible things to my partner when I do get into this mood and it's really not okay. After I have my massive rush of anger, I feel really really sad and I have no idea why. This combination happens constantly and I don't know what to do because I don't have the courage to speak to my GP and definitely not my mum. I talk to my girlfriend about it sometimes but that's the only time I ever actually talk about it.

Mum acting to me like everything is my fault

replies: 26

So this has been going on and off for a few days now, I've had 4 marjor brain surgeries it affects my life a lot, my mum gave up her career to look after me and sometimes she says I gave up my career for you she says it like it's my fault, she's been calling me a bitch for no reason, she's been very mad at me for no reason it's just her behaviour, when she has an argument with me she always finds a way to win and finds ways to put me down a lot. This is getting to a point now where I'm just gonna lose it and just run away, she's been treating me like shit lately and I don't know what's going on in her life but I hate it when she takes it out on me. I feel like such a burden to her :,(

Why am I always so sad

replies: 5

Hey I am 15 years old and in year 10 at the moment and I can't find any happiness or joy in life, wherever I am, I always feel so dull and alone and everything I see or think about just makes me more depressed. I used to be a really sporty and active person but I had surgery on both my legs (femoral derotation osteotomy) and it limited a lot of what I can do even when I am seven months into recovery, I sometimes feel the old pain I had the surgery to remove and it only lowers my outlook on life more. Most of the time I wonder what really is my purpose in life, I feel like nothing, most of the time helpless, and I just want all my problems to leave me alone, I did have severe depression in the early stages of my surgery but I got rid of it for a little while, but it keeps coming back. I have moved schools this year because I was having difficulty at my old one, and I have made new friends but I can never find happiness being around them, most of the time I want to isolate myself and be alone and not talk to anyone, even when they are nice and inviting to me. I feel like I always have to put up a wall to hide my feelings inside, I always have to smile and be happy, when really I want to run away and cry. School, I feel is a miserable place for me, it gives me anxiety with assignments and puts pressure on me to be friendly and make friends. The only things that help relieve me from the sadness is consuming myself with tv shows and writing long assignments, because I become so focused on them I forget about everything else, but when I finish everything just hits me again and it gets really overwhelming.

Getting Angry or sad too much, too often.

replies: 6

Hi. I wanted to know if anyone else gets really angry or sad for no reason, just out of the blue? I am 19 and living with my boyfriend and it just seems to be a constant pattern for me. For a few days I am quite fine, maybe feel a little unsure or comfortable with something, but nothing bad. Then out of no where I'll be crying or fighting over something small. Just today I got angry at my boyfriend for him somehow losing his myki on the tram. I felt annoyed that he has lost it again as he's replaced it at least ten times, and because of this always has to carry around a spare myki. I don't know why I got so annoyed by it though, even though I don't want him to get a fine and all, it really shouldn't be a big deal. It felt so bad arguing with him about it. I feel like I am always having to apologise to him. I use to be really sad all the time and because of this no one wanted to be around me except him. I don't know how to control it. I almost feel like I am possessed or something when I get this outburst of sadness or anger. My boyfriend is really kind and has been there for me through all my issues and I love him very much but I just seem to get too emotional sometimes. I went through some really bad stuff in Grade 12 and I feel like I still haven't forgiven my parents for what they did. I feel those events have a lot to do with me getting upset over little things not going my way. I hated my life so much in grade 12 due to having no real friends, being bullied, parents divorcing, domestic violence, my mum's horrid boyfriend moving in... just a few to list. It was so bad I had to move out as soon as school finished. I do now talk to my parents and sometimes we visit each other, but I still feel hurt. It's not something I can bring up because when I have it just upsets them. I randomly will have a flash back of an event and then it's just really hard to shake off. Like sometimes I won't be able to sleep properly because my brain is too busy worrying about what happened at my school formal (my 'friend' ripped my dress, ditched me and a few other things I don't want to talk about). But yeah just stuff like that somehow just decides to randomly pop up throughout the day. Doesn't help with my university studies now either. I just want to be happy and not angry or sad randomly. It just hurts me and my boyfriend. I don't want to keep being like this or go back to what I use to be like. I just want to know if anyone has any tips on moving forward? Thanks.

Feeling Pressured

replies: 8

Hi, I have been seeing a psychologist and a doctor to help both my mental and physical health. I'm currently underweight I get weighed by both my psychologist and doctor. I get weekly blood tests to check everything. I was previously going to headspace to see a psychologist but they didn't think things were working out so sent me to a specialist service. I still see the doctor at headspace who has been amazing. I was told today by my new psychologist who I like a lot better than my last psychologist that if things don't work out that I could be refered on to a another place but will be in the private health system and the adult system. I feel like there's so much pressure now to be gaining weight so that I don' get put in a hospital ward or don't get refered on to yet another place. It's already hard with work having to constantly take time off work to go to all these appointments and trying to set up my schedule to get consistency. Im also going on a trip overseas in may for my birthday if I get placed in a ward (which can be done against my will) Ill be forced to cancel my trip and pay cancellation fees. I want to get better but feel there' so much pressure. *please note:before replying I do not have a eating disorder and my pyschologist does not think I have one. It' more from neglect, poor diet and depression.

I'm a loser and I don't know how to change.

replies: 4

Hi all, I'm pretty new here and this is my first post so its lovely to meet you sorry for such a self-flagellating title just trying to be honest. I'm a 20 year old University student studying music. I find myself really unhappy with myself. This became super obvious when my father sat me down and made me aware of all the things that I was letting fly under the radar. namely, how overweight I am, how I don't have a real job, I run an unsuccessful business, I don't manage my time well, don't really have any friends. all these things. (also no one knows this but me but I'm a compulsive liar) also It might be a separate problem but in my head at least its much of the same, but allot of people tell me I'm a horrible person (my ex's friends and stuff) I try really hard not to be horrid, but its kind of a situation of "if everyone else seems crazy then you're the crazy one" sort of thing. so I accept that maybe I'm a bad person but I find it hard to pin down the reasons why and harder again to change them. I find myself incapacitated by disappointment in myself these last few weeks. unable to get myself out of bed or do anything, consumed by self hatred. so I thought i'd ask the advice of you guys, maybe there's someone who's gone through a profound change? How do I change? How do I become someone I can be happy with? How do I put up with myself in the meantime? Some of these changes seem nigh impossible and there's so many of them, its very disheartening I don't know if I can put up with myself for much longer (sorry again for being so melodramatic) thanks for any advice

Workplace Bullying - How to cope when your CEO is bullying you? Trigger Warning - bullying/rape/harassment

replies: 2

I work for a not for profit - only 14 staff in total. Since commencing in 2017 I've been bullied constantly by a group of colleagues (4 who all work together in one department) & the CEO. They've left me out of work events & important decisions that grossly affect my job; blatantly ignored me at work; verbally abused me when I don't do what they want and constantly dump their work to me but when I try to be assertive & say I need to prioritise my own work they say I'm not a team player. After several weeks of working 14 -16 hours days, 7 days a week (rather than my contractual 7.5 hr/5 day week) I tried speaking to the CEO in face-to-face meetings. As I want to make sure the issues I raise are addressed, I always follow meetings up with emails but the CEO has told me that I'm being incredibly rude by putting things discussed in meetings in follow-up emails even though they are work related. I have told her that I feel this is best practice as issues can then be referred to & better actioned in future but she says she doesn't want anything in writing & because she's been in "senior positions for much longer than (I) have" she is a better judge of what is best and her ruling is that: "issues in the workplace should always be kept off paper". Additionally, 3 weeks after commencing employment, one of my co-workers (who has continued to bully me severely every day, for what has now been nearly a year) waited until I was alone in the office before yelling at me & saying that there were no issues with the way things are being run and that I was/am "the problem" with the workplace. I record the time/dates and all bullying incidents. Yet despite me having another senior colleague raise the bullying issue with my CEO & personally raising the same issues in a separate meeting that I was begrudgingly dragged into (because the same bully was trying to undermine my work yet again), the CEO has said I need to accept that the person is just "abrupt", that there is no bullying & I'm the one who needs to change my attitude to be more of a team player. My CEO has not only ignored multiple bullying incidents I've experienced but also forced me to work on a project with someone who raped me - despite my 2 regular doctors & psychiatrist writing letters stating I was to have nothing to do with the project. Am feeling so hopeless as I need my job to live but the constantly bullying is pervading into & destroying every aspect of my life. I really need advice &/or support.

Depressed and getting no where

replies: 2

I'm just going to post the crux of my situation, thanks if you read it. I got my first full time job two years ago which I just left a fortnight ago due to bullying. I was harassed constantly for a year by other workers and by the management themselves, not because I did anything but because they were bullies with a history of abusing innocent workers. I left because another job came up with another company which I thought would be more professional, but this new job is a manual job (which I understood before applying), but the problem is that I feel that I am way too overloaded with work for the day. I've been working 9-10 hour days and the management have been complaining that I take too long to do the work. I asked my colleague who was training me in the job and he said that is how they are, its a bit of a bad culture there which I didn't know as I'm new. I know I won't be staying there so I am so depressed at the moment that I am busting my behind and then I get home every day and just go to sleep for most of the night, wake up have dinner and then go back to sleep. I feel so useless because I don't know what to do with myself and I don't know if I'll ever be able to have any career or decent job without being harassed. I was great at my last job but I was pushed out of it by people that harassed me, lied about me and at one point I was violently assaulted. I just don't know what to do, makes me wonder if it is even worth trying sometimes. I've dealt with depression since high school and I am just so sick of people when all I want is to be left alone and just go about my work. If it wasn't for my girlfriend I probably wouldn't care as much about being alive. I've got no current prospects and I'm basically sick of trying. I don't know what to do. My girlfriend is pretty much the only thing that makes me happy right now but my parents don't approve of our relationship and because I don't have a regular income I can't move out right now. Just shaking my head at the moment because I don't know if things will ever get any better for me. I feel like such a loser. Sorry just needed to get this out to someone.

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Where to start. replies: 2

Help! Conflict with deferring Uni or continuing Uni... replies: 2

Struggling with Anger and Sadness replies: 1

Mum acting to me like everything is my fault replies: 26

Why am I always so sad replies: 5

Getting Angry or sad too much, too often. replies: 6

Feeling Pressured replies: 8

I'm a loser and I don't know how to change. replies: 4

Workplace Bullying - How to cope when your CEO is bullying you? *Trigger Warning - bullying/rape/harassment * replies: 2

Depressed and getting no where replies: 2