How do you learn to love yourself?

[Liam007]

Hi all, I'm just seeking some advice.

 For the last few weeks I've been feeling awful about myself and viewing myself in a very bad way.

I feel inadequate compared to my peers at school, they get praise from teachers and the community, I've done nothing on their level and feel like I'm worthless. I don't get invited to hang out on the weekends with the people in my classes, I feel like they hate me. I have a job which is terrible for me, I take orders at McDonalds. I worry the customers think I'm rubbish and a idiot.

Honestly, I have no clue what I'm doing. I can't think positively because I feel my brain tricks me and just shuts it down.

I feel like I don't like myself for screwing up so much.

I'm just wondering, any advice on how to learn to appreciate yourself?

Thanks

[CrashCoyote]

Hi again Liam,

I have read some of your posts on here and you are clearly an intelligent person. You have mentioned that you have not achieved anything on the same level as your peers. Have you thought of anything you'd like to do that would fit the bill? I mean, you have to make it happen, just as they did.

As for the McDonalds job, it is honest and honourable work. (That was my first job, too.) I was a policeman for a long time and if I worried about what the public thought of me, I'd never has gotten anything done. You will find that people in service industries are often treated poorly and unfairly by customers but I am confident you could rise above that sort of nonsense.

You mentioned that you feel like your classmates hate you but you didn't say they hate you. Are you saying that your brain is telling you that but you know it isn't true? That seems in character with your self esteem issues. I'm sure they don't hate you especially. Young men can be quite brutal but they do tend to share it around fairly evenly.

Can we talk a bit about a project for you. I can think of heaps. But help me out. Do you have any interests that would lend themselves to something? Do you live in a large or small town? Do you have transport (public or private)? Do you have the time to spare to take on a project, and if so, how much can you spare? 

I'd be keen to hear from you. You are definitely not a screw up.

Kind regards, John.

[Liam007]

Hey John,

Have you thought of anything you'd like to do that would fit the bill?

I just want to be "remembered". I love Drama and Acting. There was a group of kids who get on really well with out Drama teacher and helped him write it and do various tasks. I tried desperately to express my desire to help them but they rejected me several times and I felt like I annoyed them and that was why I was being rejected. I just feel like I belong or even have a purpose anymore. I feel worthless, stupid and hate myself.

About the project. As mentioned above I love acting and the creative arts. I live in a smallish town, I don't know where I can partake in those. There is a community theatre I'm a part of though. I got my Ls but don't want to drive, I feel like I can't do it and will just screw it up. I only work 3 hours a week, I don't think I could handle anymore.

With the other kids, some directly hate me and wish I would vanish others don't but they don't act very nice. They joke that I'm a "loose unit", "homophobic" and so on.

You mentioned you were a policeman? That was one of my choices for a career. I first applied for the Army but was declined because of my Diabetes, then I tried the firefighters....declined for diabetes and then again for the Police. It was a horrible way to start the year.

I just feel so down most of the time. At the school I plan routes to take so I avoid others. I'm just trying to hide myself from the school, I remember a teacher approached me and asked if I would film an event for him (He found out I liked video production) I declined thinking "No way! I'm just trying to get through the day unnoticed"

I'm a little tired as of writing this, I'll be back tomorrow.

Talk soon John,

Liam

[Liam007]

Hey John, some stuff I forgot to add.

I actually got invited to help film some events for a video production company, which I more than likely will be going on, that might be okay I'll let you know how it goes.

 I find that the self-loathing is more in relation to inside of school but outside of school is still hard at times.

Liam