help for possible psychosis???

[motion_picture_soundtrack]

hey, this is my first post here.

so recently (as in over the past 4ish months) i've been feeling really off. i can't remember a lot of things, i'm experiencing time weirdly and having random moments where i zone out for anywhere between minutes and hours and can't remember any of it (i was at my friends house and he shook me and i came to and had apparently been staring into space crying for about 30 minutes). i feel really disconnected from my body like its not mine?? and my thoughts feel really disconnected it's super hard to make sense of anything. a lot of things i say don't make sense and i trip over my words and sentences mix with thoughts and come out garbled (apparently, sometimes i dont notice)

i also keep seeing and hearing things and i don't know what's real or not and it's freaking me out...i see things moving in the dark and gross things on the walls and people following me all the time and strangers keep staring at me when i look away and i think they're trying to get in my head? and i'm getting messages through morse code i think but i told my friend and he said that i was being delusional so i don't know. all of my friends hate me and laugh about me behind my back a lot so i don't think i can trust him, but i also don't know if i can trust myself???

it's been happening for a while but over the past few weeks especially has gotten really bad. it's super embarrassing and scary to ask about because i feel like i'm going crazy or something (every part of my head is screaming at me not to even ask for help here) but i can't cope with this by myself. i looked it up and a lot of the things i've been experiencing make it seem like it could be psychosis? it scares me because i don't know what's real or not because there's a lot of stuff in my head that i'm getting scared might be fake that are really REALLY important

i've gone to therapy before and i know that i won't be able to talk to someone about this stuff to a therapist because i clam up ( i always have and this especially is so hard to talk about) but i need help or to talk about it without feeling like i'm insane because i feel like i'm drowning in my own weird head and really don't know what to do. i don't know how to bring it up to anyone in person without feeling ridiculous and weird.

so what should i do? are there any resources i can use to try and help myself, or even any tips on how to bring up the topic regarding going back to therapy because of the things i described? thanks

[D84]

Hi Motion Picture Soundtrack

Welcome and good on you for being able to express your problems.

From what you've described it does sound like you are experiencing psychosis, which is a medical condition and does not mean you are going crazy. Most importantly, this is a treatable condition, but you can't deal with it alone and so this is where your GP can help you.

It's very common to struggle to talk to people about your problems, even at therapy. It might be helpful to write a list of your symptoms beforehand to talk about or even hand to your doctor or therapist/etc. You could even just mention you think you've been experiencing psychosis and then talk through it.

[blondguy]

Hi Motion Picture Soundtrack

D84 has really helped with some great advice above...and thankyou D84 🙂

There is nothing crazy about you....maybe some overthinking...but nothing crazy...even though we dont really entertain the crazy word. I have had acute anxiety followed by depression...I understand....

A lot of posters actually print off their thread....(all of this) and hand it to their doc/therapist which is a huge stress reliever as you dont have to remember what to talk about. It also reduces any anxiety because you are going in prepared as D84 mentioned.

Takes a lot of courage to post on here and good on you! You are more than welcome to post as many times as you wish, even if you need to have a vent or a chat

you are not alone (or crazy for that matter)

my kind thoughts

Paul