Frenzying? Going crazy? OCD? Threatening myself?

[MaeM]

Whenever I am anxious I seem to go into this mode where I just clean or sort things out. A few weeks ago I went through my wardrobe 3 times and throughout clothes I never wear and folded everything up all over again (Keeping in mind this what at 10pm). I will vacuum my carpet, take everything off shelves and put it back neat, clean my rabbits cage, wipe down cupboards and mop floors. I never noticed it until my mum pointed it out to me and started worrying about it. If I don't complete what I wanted to do I start freaking out aswell my mind is set on getting it done right then and there.
Another thing I do is go shopping or online shopping. I never buy anything online though. Im always checking online to see if anything is cheaper than the day before and if it is I don't even buy it. I go shopping and don't find anything that I like but I feel horrible if I don't go and check. I don't know whats going on with it. Never really been the kind of person to shop all the time. Im not very girly either so I don't know why I seem to feel obliged to just go to the shops. Sometimes I even ask my parents at 9:00pm to take me to the supermarket. I don't know what I am getting there but I just feel like going.
Am I going crazy? Is it frenzy? Kind of seems like OCD I suppose?
Another thing I do which I have been told by a counsellor seems a lot like OCD is threaten myself with the most random things for example, I'll tell myself in my head to look at the time or myself or something I love will die somehow. It can be the most stupid of things like straightening a picture frame, eating a bit of food, changing the channel, picking something up off the floor, patting my rabbit or dogs, asking my parents a question or saying something. Im always telling myself to do things like this and always threatening "or _____ will die"
I don't know what is happening!?

[geoff]

dear MaeM, I am pleased that you have contacted us for support and decided to post what you are worried about and from what you have been doing.

Excuse me for saying that your counsellor believes that you may have OCD, well from what you have described to us, there is no doubt that you do have OCD, as I have had it for 54 years, and everything that you have mentioned is without a doubt that you do have it.

Many people have posted on here about their own traumas with OCD but it's unfortunate that they never stay with us, as they feel strange or guilty and then disappear, which I am disappointed about, because 54 years is a long long time to try and cope with this illness.

I really understand everything that you have said, so I would love to talk about it with you, so first of all can you please tell if you are a female, which I tend to believe you are and how old you are.

I only ask these questions because I would love to be able to get to know you.

Please don't have any fear with this because I would also love to explain this issue with your parents as well. Geoff.

[AGrace]

Hi MaeM,

I'm glad that Geoff has responded and is willing to give you some further insight as he has personal experience that he can share.

You mentioned that you are seeing a Counsellor, have you seen a Dr or Psychiatrist/Psychologist? It would probably be comforting for you to get a definite diagnosis, so that you don't feel like you're going crazy. Is your counsellor willing to help you with managing your symptoms?

I hope you'll get back to us.

AGrace

[MaeM]

I am seeing a psychiatrist but I haven't been able to see a psychologist in a while because the one I was seeing is impossible to get in to see. I have an appointment to try out a new one but other than that I am just on medication for depression and anxiety. Unfortunately the councellor I saw was just a web chat one and I hadn't it explained it very thoroughly.

[MaeM]

Hi Geoff,
I am a female and I am soon to be 17 :L

[geoff]

dear MaeM, thanks very much for this, as it's always nice to know the gender of the person who posts a comment.

Can I explain to you that over the years I have had OCD my habits and rituals have changed, like when I was a kid I couldn't step on any cracks in the footpath, but now it doesn't worry me, but when I do stop a habit, it is replaced by something else, and this list is endless.

It can happen at the spuhr of the moment, or it happens every time before I do something. Geoff. x

[MaeM]

I think I used to not step on cracks as a kid but I never would've guessed that was OCD.
I don't know if my parents would understand and I really don't know how to help it.

[geoff]

dear MaeM, there are so many little traits that everybody does, and from what I do someone like yourself wouldn't do, but is there anything that have to do while you are working.

I am also curious that when your parents take you to the supermarket is it the same section that you go to, and can I ask what happens to you if they don't take you.

Excuse me for asking you questions it's only because I am really interested, and by all means ask me as many questions as you want. Geoff.x

[MaeM]

I don't think there is anything in particular but I will list just incase you see a pattern. When I ask my parents to take me and its at night normally I just go to the health and beauty section (Im not that into beauty stuff) otherwise anywhere and everywhere but I always have an urge to go to that isle.
As for when I go on my own to a shopping centre normally I will go to clothing stores but heres the shops I go to: jayjays, cotton on, kmart, city beach, surf dive n ski, priceline, factorie and ruby. I never really get anything? I hate buying things over $5.. I freak out if I don't get anything because I feel like its a waste, I go into shops more than one and I normally go once a week.
Im getting a little bit scared on this forum. I thought id just tell you. Not use to being this open and I am worried its not 100% anonymous.

[MaeM]

Thought id just let you know* sorry.. Thank you for your help aswell i really appreciate it. I just have trust issues. But id like to continue talking with you