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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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MaeM Frenzying? Going crazy? OCD? Threatening myself?
  • replies: 13

Whenever I am anxious I seem to go into this mode where I just clean or sort things out. A few weeks ago I went through my wardrobe 3 times and throughout clothes I never wear and folded everything up all over again (Keeping in mind this what at 10pm... View more

Whenever I am anxious I seem to go into this mode where I just clean or sort things out. A few weeks ago I went through my wardrobe 3 times and throughout clothes I never wear and folded everything up all over again (Keeping in mind this what at 10pm). I will vacuum my carpet, take everything off shelves and put it back neat, clean my rabbits cage, wipe down cupboards and mop floors. I never noticed it until my mum pointed it out to me and started worrying about it. If I don't complete what I wanted to do I start freaking out aswell my mind is set on getting it done right then and there. Another thing I do is go shopping or online shopping. I never buy anything online though. Im always checking online to see if anything is cheaper than the day before and if it is I don't even buy it. I go shopping and don't find anything that I like but I feel horrible if I don't go and check. I don't know whats going on with it. Never really been the kind of person to shop all the time. Im not very girly either so I don't know why I seem to feel obliged to just go to the shops. Sometimes I even ask my parents at 9:00pm to take me to the supermarket. I don't know what I am getting there but I just feel like going. Am I going crazy? Is it frenzy? Kind of seems like OCD I suppose? Another thing I do which I have been told by a counsellor seems a lot like OCD is threaten myself with the most random things for example, I'll tell myself in my head to look at the time or myself or something I love will die somehow. It can be the most stupid of things like straightening a picture frame, eating a bit of food, changing the channel, picking something up off the floor, patting my rabbit or dogs, asking my parents a question or saying something. Im always telling myself to do things like this and always threatening "or _____ will die" I don't know what is happening!?

MaeM Over worrying..
  • replies: 5

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and even before then we were best friends. He is the most loyal person I have ever met to the point where he looks away when an underwear ad comes on TV. But my anxiety just loves to kick in. He knows everyth... View more

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and even before then we were best friends. He is the most loyal person I have ever met to the point where he looks away when an underwear ad comes on TV. But my anxiety just loves to kick in. He knows everything about me including all my thoughts and feelings, we don't hide anything from each other. My depression and anxiety was caused by something that affects my trust towards mostly men and I know that has something to do with it. Im always worried that he is looking at other girls or doing things that he knows im scared of. And I know he doesn't but I worry anyway! Im too scared to go on his ipod, phone or computer because I feel like im going to come across something. I even get angry and upset when he laughs or makes a dirty joke (Which is rare!). I don't know what to do and I am sick of hearing "It will push him away". He knows why I do it and he understands. I know it can push him away and I cant keep bottling it in because it is soo hard to control my depression when I keep it in. I don't know what to do.

Lisa_C can't handle being yelled at
  • replies: 7

Why do I get strong thoughts of suicide/self harm when my partner yells at me, he doesn't even have to be "yelling" just when he gets frustrated at me and raises his voice. I know that he shouldn't speak to me like that but why can't I handle it? Sen... View more

Why do I get strong thoughts of suicide/self harm when my partner yells at me, he doesn't even have to be "yelling" just when he gets frustrated at me and raises his voice. I know that he shouldn't speak to me like that but why can't I handle it? Sensitive obviously but to have those thoughts is just so dramatic.Why do I get strong thoughts of suicide/self harm when my partner yells at me, he doesn't even have to be "yelling" just when he gets frustrated at me and raises his voice. I know that he shouldn't speak to me like that but why can't I handle it? Sensitive obviously but to have those thoughts is just so dramatic.beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Violet_hope I can' t do this anymore.
  • replies: 3

Someoneplease help me. I've never been diagnosed with depression before but I'm just so sad all the time. I'm a 16 year old who has entered year 11 recently. I just can't deal with the stress of everything. I have no clue what I'm going to do when I ... View more

Someoneplease help me. I've never been diagnosed with depression before but I'm just so sad all the time. I'm a 16 year old who has entered year 11 recently. I just can't deal with the stress of everything. I have no clue what I'm going to do when I finish school and it scares me so much. I just don't see the point? I just wish I could leave this world and enter a fantasy world. I watch movies and tv shows and play video games and I just wish I could live there. In that world. I wish I could be apart of the cute little communities in there little town In a cartoon world. where it's so care free and everyone knows everyone and they're happy, or be a princess in a fantasy world! It's so ridiculous I no. But just thinking about those worlds and then zoning back into this reality makes me burst into tears and leaves me spiralling back into a black hole. I hate this society. It's full of war and hate and judgemental people. Please just get me out of here. I've felt like this for atleast two years now and I wish I could enjoy life again.

Ellcrys Does it ever get easier?
  • replies: 2

I was diagnosed with depression in early 2011 and since then I have been all over the place. Good days and bad days come and go but there are times when I have manic stages where I just can't seem to shut my brain off at all and I'm totally wired... ... View more

I was diagnosed with depression in early 2011 and since then I have been all over the place. Good days and bad days come and go but there are times when I have manic stages where I just can't seem to shut my brain off at all and I'm totally wired... Can't sleep, feel like I'm invincible, send my partner a bunch of texts because I get fixated on the idea that I've done something wrong when I know deep down that I haven't and that I'm just being paranoid. I get so bad that I literally feel like I am going crazy. I'm medicated at the moment because when I'm not medicated I'm horrible to be around. I keep wondering if it will ever get easier, I get so tired, constantly fighting a battle that I feel like I can never win. I'm 23 and I feel like I've lost my own way while all this stuff has been going on, most people I know have their act together but I don't even know what I'm going to be doing with my life in six months time. Being in relationships is difficult too, but I have a great partner right now and he supports me which helps but I can be self destructive. I don't have a lot of friends anymore because one of my previous partners was mentally abusive and very possessive so I pushed away my friends in order to satisfy him. Sometimes my family will argue or I will hear my neighbours (complete strangers) having a fight and my anxiety will skyrocket. I can't be around people when there's tension because confrontation is a huge fear of mine and even though it's not directed at me, it still freaks me out completely. I feel guilty for being mentally ill. Like people will think I'm this way for attention or so that I can get out of working. I can only talk to my mum or my best friend, my boyfriend about this topic so many times before it just gets stale but I'm seeing a psychologist tomorrow so fingers crossed that helps me somewhat control my anxiety at least. Sorry my post is so all over the place, it's just hard to get it all out at once without making it too long of a story for others to read.

Dyl Please help me work out whats wrong with me
  • replies: 2

Hey friends, I am desperate for help, here's my story;I'm 18 years old and have suffered from anxiety for about 4 years and have been taking medication daily to tackle it.My anxiety is seriosuly unusual, I do get the common symptoms, worrying about r... View more

Hey friends, I am desperate for help, here's my story;I'm 18 years old and have suffered from anxiety for about 4 years and have been taking medication daily to tackle it.My anxiety is seriosuly unusual, I do get the common symptoms, worrying about relationships etc, But my most serious problem is I have the most unusual fears, things like thinking of someone trying to tear a phonebook in half, large things that are not heavy or small things that are, I can't even describe this, The feeling I get is like a severe version of fear of height. I've asked my psychologist about it, and he shrugged it off (Am now getting a new psych this week). But I'm desperate guys, please, if you have any idea of what or why I am suffering from this?Though I feel that the medication has mildly helped me, I can tell that it's still hitting me.Recently I was quite ill with glandular fever and this made my anxiety much worse. Months later I was starting to recover from this however as a result, with a lack of cooperation from my school, I had to drop out of year 12.Things were starting to look up about a month later, however I was then hospitalized with Salmonella poisoning and extremely ill for a few days.Two weeks later I'm home and physically recovering. Though my anxiety has taken a turn for the worse. I havn't eaten in days because all I eat I throw up. Thinking about almost anything negative makes my heart beat quickly and I feel sick. Often I can't calm down and feel forced to take medication.I can't sleep without sleeping medication and have lost over 10 kg, If my new psych doesn't know what it is, I feel that I'm only going to get worse.Please guys, does anyone know anything that may be helpful?

Orachelt99 How can I help
  • replies: 3

My friend has really bad depression. Her parents and brother are abusive, and child protective services haven't done anything to help. So fare the over the last week she has tried to kill herself twice, and she has also tried a lot of times over the ... View more

My friend has really bad depression. Her parents and brother are abusive, and child protective services haven't done anything to help. So fare the over the last week she has tried to kill herself twice, and she has also tried a lot of times over the last 4 years. She has tried going to her school councillor for help but they haven't done anything. Not long ago one of her best friends killed them self. Two of her other friends and I have tried talking to her and have tried to help, but she says unless she can get answers and a solution there isn't any point in trying. I don't know how to help her what should I do?

Neko Struggling with depression
  • replies: 2

Everyday I get the same feeling; that I am worthless. It all started last year when one of my 'friends' started annoying me on purpose when we were playing a game. Later on she insulted me, and when I didn't reply, she called me a wimp for not being ... View more

Everyday I get the same feeling; that I am worthless. It all started last year when one of my 'friends' started annoying me on purpose when we were playing a game. Later on she insulted me, and when I didn't reply, she called me a wimp for not being a true girl and standing up for myself. I told my other friends and they were mad at her for saying that, so they sided with me. A few days later we were playing a game when the girl comes up to us and starts talking with them. My friends started talking to her and ignoring me when I tried to ask them a question. After that I made a new group of friends and I felt better and didn't have anything to worry about. This year I failed in a lot of things, my report card, leadership positions and my hobbies. My best friend didn't hang out with me at all and I felt different in a bad way.I got stressed whenever we did a test and it got harder to get to sleep at night. The boy I have a crush on admitted to my best friend he liked her and now they are going out. It got harder to keep being myself because everyone found me annoying. I told my best friend I was feeling really depressed and she supported me for a while but then told me she didn't want to support me until I felt better. The girl who bullied me started hanging out with my friends, and now, they would rather spend time with her then me. I made a lot of bad choices and now I feel like I don't have any friends. What should I do to start feeling better?

samara My mother has ruined almost every part of me
  • replies: 3

I never really get to speak about how I'm feeling without being shut down, so my thoughts sort of take over my mind and before I know it I'm breaking down again. I feel like I only really have one issue in my life right now and that's my family. My m... View more

I never really get to speak about how I'm feeling without being shut down, so my thoughts sort of take over my mind and before I know it I'm breaking down again. I feel like I only really have one issue in my life right now and that's my family. My mother has ruined almost every part of me. I don't even know where to begin. I've been battling her for years and right now I'm trying to do all I can to move away from here and just get my life back. I want to feel happy about myself again. Every bit of a responsibility that a mother should have is put on me and for years I thought this was normal, but now I'm truly exhausted. She calls me hurtful things, tells me to leave, she's put me in debt, she threatens me. The worst part is, she has a gambling problem that only I know about, every day is different depending on if she won money or lost it. Sometimes I hope that my mum always won money so she would treat me kindly but at the same time, seeing her treat her children respectfully for five minutes over money just sickens me. I've never been one to put my problems on other people, sometimes I've tried talking about how I'm feeling but I get told to save it for another time or to really have a think about sharing how I feel because I'll upset other people. I feel like i've already gone through the stage in my life where I could distract myself. Now I have no choice but to face everything every single day. I try to convince myself that one day I'll get out of here, I'll be happy and everyday is one step closer but then I have those days that I can't do anything. My thoughts turn negative and I feel trapped and just heart broken. I'll never be able to push past the thing's that my mum has done, I know they are going to stay with me, but I just need someone to talk too who I won't affect. I try not to bottle thing's up anymore because I know how angry I can get and how the bad decisions that come with it all just add to everything. I know that she doesn't want me around, it just hurts that it's only because I'm her daughter, I've done nothing but help her, be there for her and give her everything she ever wanted. Now i'm alone, crushed and I have nothing. And that's what she gave me in return. I don't know how many times I can get back up.

freemefrommydemons BPD and eating disorders
  • replies: 1

When I was 17 my doctor told me that they may diagnose me with borderline personality disorder but it may be falsely diagnosed because of the anorexia. I was diagnosed at the beginning of this year (now 19) and I still dont understand what it is. Whe... View more

When I was 17 my doctor told me that they may diagnose me with borderline personality disorder but it may be falsely diagnosed because of the anorexia. I was diagnosed at the beginning of this year (now 19) and I still dont understand what it is. When I think about it all of my problems stem from my anorexia, and I believe that anorexia has caused all my other diagnoses. Does this make sense? It was after my anorexic symptoms began when I first got diagnosed with depression, and when I began recovery that was when I started self harming and then diagnosed with BPD. Now I worry that they are focusing on treating my BPD symptoms but it has stemmed from anorexia and recently I have found that through controlling my food again the BPD has settled down so im really unsure. Is it anorexia causing these problems, or BPD & depression?

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