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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

romantic_thi3f Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies
  • replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are i... View more

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

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CloudyKayla 16 and feeling very depressed
  • replies: 13

I'm 16, I've been feeling sad for a some time, I remember my mum saying she thinks I'm depressed about 3 years ago. I don't really have anyone to talk to and I'm bad at talking about my feelings. I sometimes self-harm but try not to because people no... View more

I'm 16, I've been feeling sad for a some time, I remember my mum saying she thinks I'm depressed about 3 years ago. I don't really have anyone to talk to and I'm bad at talking about my feelings. I sometimes self-harm but try not to because people notice and it makes me feel worse about myself.lately I just don't see the point in living, I'm doing bad at school, I see no future for myself, I don't have many friends and I honestly don't think anyone would even notice nor care if I was gone. Im posting here because I don't know what to do and I don't want to see a councillor.the only reason I haven't ended it yet is because I'm scared it won't work and I don't want to have to explain myself. beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Eso-si-que-es I don't know what I have
  • replies: 2

Recently I have started to lose interest of the sport I play, my grades, whether I'm getting enough sleep or eating healthily. I have been crying a lot more, feeling more cranky and like I want the world to go away. I am happy around my friends but a... View more

Recently I have started to lose interest of the sport I play, my grades, whether I'm getting enough sleep or eating healthily. I have been crying a lot more, feeling more cranky and like I want the world to go away. I am happy around my friends but a of late I a preferring to be alone more. Is there something wrong with me? Am I just going through a phase?

thisisme I'm 16 and i have depression....
  • replies: 3

i don't know where to start, I'm just kinda rambling now... i have depression and need a friend I'm 16 and I've been suffering for 4 years, since the beginning of high school. No surprise that the cause of it all is a dysfunctional broken family, but... View more

i don't know where to start, I'm just kinda rambling now... i have depression and need a friend I'm 16 and I've been suffering for 4 years, since the beginning of high school. No surprise that the cause of it all is a dysfunctional broken family, but also intense school anxiety and social phobia and a bunch of other pathetic stuff. When i'm home, i feel so trapped. i think alot and i would stay up till 3 in the morning thinking about dying. In a dysfunctional family how do i get better when the the others are having problems of their own? I feel so isolated, i really have no one to talk to but the voice in my head. When i'm at home i suffer but at school, i'm so different At school i'm known as the nice, sweet and smiling Asian girl, i have never tried or attempted to express my emotions because its become a routine to put on a mask everyday to hide it from anyone. My group is a bunch of cynical pessimistic people. i have some charming positive friends who are really nice to me, but they're only in my classes and seem to have better friends to hang out with. Internally i'm going through hell but i act like i'm happy around other people... whats wrong with me?

moomoo7 Relationship with both individuals experiencing mental illness?
  • replies: 2

I'm just going to try and cut my story short as i really need some advice and past experiences to work from. A few months ago, i started dating this guy. We were both 17. I have been struggling with severe depression, anxiety, borderline personality ... View more

I'm just going to try and cut my story short as i really need some advice and past experiences to work from. A few months ago, i started dating this guy. We were both 17. I have been struggling with severe depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder and self harm for many years. He had experienced some of it in his past also, but was generally healthy at the time. We dated for about 3 months and we were both so attached and really loved each other. Unfortunately one night we had a huge fight and my boyfriend decided he was going to chat up another girl, send her photos etc. It wasn't until 3 weeks later that i found out what he did. It was the day before my 18th birthday and i broke up with him because i was so upset, hurt and disappointed with him. We didnt speak for a few weeks and then one day he decided to call me and apologise for everything that he did. I accepted his apology, but still did not want anything to do with him even though he was all i could think about. Recently, in the past few days, we have started talking again as we are both having such a hard time letting go and forgetting all our feelings for each other. We are both so inlove with each other, even though we are so young. In the past few days we have been talking, he told me he ended up in hospital for having a breakdown. He is now also on medication for depression and has been self-harming. This has all happened in the 6 weeks that we have been apart. We sorted everything out and have decided that we want to be friends, but eventually get back together as we are our happiest when we are together and its what we both want. We have decided to focus on ourselves and try our best to improve our mental states, but i just want to know whether this is a good idea and if it is worth it? We are both willing to put in 110% and try our best to think positively and attend therapy (obviously at different places). Is it worth it? and if you have experienced this before can you PLEASE help me out. I really love this boy, as silly as it sounds and i really want it all to work out but i'm not sure if its the right thing. Thanks xx

JellyfishOnStilts Please help
  • replies: 1

I feel tired and unmotivated all the time. I keep thinking that I'm worthless and I'll never amount to anything. I spend a lot of time idly wishing that I was dead, or that I'd never been born. I've been trying to keep up with university and chores a... View more

I feel tired and unmotivated all the time. I keep thinking that I'm worthless and I'll never amount to anything. I spend a lot of time idly wishing that I was dead, or that I'd never been born. I've been trying to keep up with university and chores and a social life, but all I want to do is sleep or watch TV or surf the internet. Even though I'm tired all the time, I keep going to bed later than I should, because I hate the thought of lying awake in bed with nothing to distract me. Every time I even think about all of my responsibilities, I start panicking because it all seems so huge and impossible. Every little step along the way turns into a three-hour hike.It got worse after I broke up with my boyfriend a couple of months ago - he was the only person I could really talk to about this sort of thing. The break-up has been really messy - every time I feel like I'm getting used to it, something else complicates it and I'm taken back to square one. I feel really lonely now that I've lost that relationship, but every time someone tries to reach out to me, I feel like I say the wrong thing.I can't talk to any of my friends or family about all of this. I know they care, but I don't think they'd really understand, and I'd just be bringing them down with me. My parents have their jobs and lives back in my hometown. I have a few friends from high school who go to university in the same city as me - I live in a share house with a couple of them - but I'm not really close enough to any of them to feel comfortable burdening them. I don't want to be a downer, and I don't think they want to be around a downer, so I try to act happy when I'm around them. I usually do feel a bit better after I've been with my friends, but I'm kind of introverted and I always feel too nervous to initiate any contact, so I don't talk to them much, with the exception of my roommates. I haven't really made any new friends at university. I know it's selfish, but I keep thinking that I'm never going to get another boyfriend at this rate, and then I keep thinking that I'm going to have to keep being lonely for the rest of my life, and I can see it stretching out ahead of me and it just seems so pointless. Especially after having really, genuinely loved someone, who I honestly believed I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I feel like I've lost that, and my future really doesn't make any sense to me any more. I've given up on having a career that I care about, my parents will die long before I do, and my brother and my friends will all develop their own lives and leave me behind. What will I have left when that happens?I was seeing a therapist in my hometown over the Christmas holidays, and it helped a bit. I decided to use the counselling services at my university, but they're swamped with people. I had one appointment about three weeks ago, and I was due to have another one today, but the lady I was supposed to see is sick, and they had to reschedule it for another two weeks time. I understand why they had to do that, and I'm not upset that they did, but at the same time, I feel like I can't handle this on my own. Two weeks seems like such a long time.Sorry for the long, whiny post. I guess I kind of don't know what to do, and I don't really have anyone I can reach out to in real life any more, so I decided to throw it into the internet in the hope that it might help. I've been trying to convince both myself and other people that I'm fine, but truth be told, I've been feeling kind of desperate lately. This is something of a last resort.

summer1 Family troubles
  • replies: 2

im having problems with my family. My sister used to like the guy im dating now - nothing ever happened between them and it was always one sided. she had dated many guys since then but she is refusing to be okay with it. i've been with him for 13 mon... View more

im having problems with my family. My sister used to like the guy im dating now - nothing ever happened between them and it was always one sided. she had dated many guys since then but she is refusing to be okay with it. i've been with him for 13 months and my family has known for 5 months. As a result my other siblings are also taking her side. Of the 7 people living at home with me, only my parents are being normal with me. I'm being ignored if I speak up about it and its reached a point where I feel bullied when it comes to other things completely unrelated to him. its like my sister is taking advantage of the fact that Im letting her have a say in the matter and she is using the fact that I feel bad about hurting her by being with him against me. sometimes its good between my siblings and I (when I pretend im not with him - not mentioning him) but when it's bad its terrible. Everyone gangs up on me and makes me feel like im doing something wrong by standing up for myself when she tries to pick stupid fights with me.Its reached a point where i'm upset thinking about it throughout the day and when fights do happen I get really angry and lose control. Last night we got into a fight and everyone was telling me I was wrong, I went into my room and I was just wanting to really hurt myself. I feel like at the moment as much as I am thinking these things, I still have some control over whether or not I do it but im worried that I may not be as 'strong' if it keeps happening.I talk to my partner about the things that happen at home and he is very supporting. it was only tonight that i told him about what i think at times when it gets really hard. i know he was trying to help when he told me to compare my family fights to bigger problems that other people are experiencing day to day and as much as i feel for these people, it doesn't change the fact that what im going through is big for me and is getting to me. he then told me about his cousin who committed suicide and his circumstances so i didn't want to continue our conversation because i felt like what i was saying may upset him.there's nobody else i can talk to. it was hard enough telling him about what i was thinking - when im not actually in that state of mind and emotion, i feel like what i feel is dramatic and attention seeker-ish so i don't feel like i would be able to talk to my friends about this.

Flo I'm just sad and in need for someone to talk to.
  • replies: 3

Hey guys.I'm 19 this year and I have been depressed since I was 7. Or at least, I remember wanting to kill myself when I was still turning 8 for no apparent reason. Because I have suffered through chronic sadness all my childhood right to this point ... View more

Hey guys.I'm 19 this year and I have been depressed since I was 7. Or at least, I remember wanting to kill myself when I was still turning 8 for no apparent reason. Because I have suffered through chronic sadness all my childhood right to this point in my life, I feel like I don't really know what happiness feels like, no self acceptance, humility etc. After being diagnosed with a chronic disease at the age of 13, this... Chain of dramatic events happened and I feel like it was all because of me, such as:- my parents broke up due to money and a lot of it was because of my illness. Of course, they don't want to think that way but I always knew I was smart enough to know the money issues, medicine, getting off work, was because of me.-the family is destroyed- my dad had a stroke and is now suffering through a rare type of palsy which will take his life in 4-8 years- mum who is 55 this year has run out of money and is working almost 24/7 to make ends meet I just can't shake this feeling of guilt off and it's been killing me for the last 5 years. I've had an amazing psychologist, reliable support network. But I'm 18 now, and as a lonely 14 year old attention seeker, I have run out of sympathy points. I understand that I'm being a wimp but what is saddening me right now is my dad and to be honest I just cannot think positively about the future. I feel like he's going to die early because of me. My sister and I won't have him walk us down the isle because of me. No grand children. You know? It's depressing. And because I've had such a depressing mind in the past, I know how easy it is to be sad, think about suicide and actually act upon it. Not saying that I'm planning on it, but I'm dreading that my clinical depression might be coming back. I graduated high school, I'm at uni right now. Have a job. 2 close best friends. I just know that this "chain of dramatic events " is just going to continue from here and I feel like I don't want to continue living if I'm just going to live with constant guilt. What should I do?beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

SLC My experience
  • replies: 6

I will be kind've ambiguous with this in terms of some details. I am still in school currently. Two years ago I saw a dead body. I started to isolate myself from people at that point. I was always a bit shy but this just completely got me. I have slo... View more

I will be kind've ambiguous with this in terms of some details. I am still in school currently. Two years ago I saw a dead body. I started to isolate myself from people at that point. I was always a bit shy but this just completely got me. I have slowly been destroying myself. I was losing everyone around me and the main cause was me. A year after this my grandmother died of old age. I had neglected her this whole time so it hit me bad over time. After that I completely isolated myself and lost everyone around me or at least that's how it feels. I am not close with anyone because of all this but I wish I was. I was filled with self-hate, guilt and doubt over myself. For over a year I sat there finding it more and more difficult to put on this fake smile so people wouldn't know.Everyday the same. Watching everything around me cave ion and the truth was it was all on me. I was and am causing it all. I have dealt with a few other things as well like the way I looked which I do and did hate. I hate who I am and think about all my actions second guessing myself. It's gotten worse and worse. It has been two years now since seeing the body and well the effect still feels so profound. I sometimes get these racing thoughts. Life honestly feels pointless most of the time. I struggle against that but when you have no friends and no one close then it's hard to find some direction or point in it. I really try not to but when the things you think might make you happy seem like an illusion sometimes it seems worthless. I feel like if I was in a relationship with someone then I could be honest with them and this one girl I tried to reach out to I just disappointed them, let them down and hurt them. I would describe it in stages. Maybe this sounds familiar. At first I blamed god for it all and I was mad thinking that the world had done me wrong then I slowly stopped and just got mad at myself. Didn't believe in god and don't. I slowly began to go so deep into this that I just cried myself to sleep and then I just stopped caring. Having things said to me everyday didn't help but I didn't care and I just let it all happen. I degraded myself as well because I really didn't care and well it made it all easier to swallow I think. Even now I barely cry but I still do, barely able to perceive what's real and what's not. If you try to convince yourself of something for so long then start to try something else then it gets hard to figure out which is which. I want to type this because I have never really laid it out like this externally. Haven't even told my counsellor which I have started seeing which doesn't really help.

sanaracats I just want support?
  • replies: 2

So I'm writing this just to get a little support from people. I don't know what to do. I know there is something wrong with me, but I'm just too afraid to talk about it to anyone. I feel so hopeless and worthless, and I feel like I have no one(even t... View more

So I'm writing this just to get a little support from people. I don't know what to do. I know there is something wrong with me, but I'm just too afraid to talk about it to anyone. I feel so hopeless and worthless, and I feel like I have no one(even though i know I do). I feel like I'm letting everyone down when I'm really not doing anything to let them down with. I hate waking up in the mornings, and I get very little sleep during the night. I've always been like that, but for as long as I can remember I've always felt like this. I used to self harm, and I've just recently started again. Like i know its not going to help me, but I just cant help it. With the whole feeling worthless and stuff, I know I'm not. I know I mean a lot to people like my family and friends, but I just cant move the feeling. I've always pushed people away, and never told anyone what goes on in this head of mine. I just can't physically or mentally talk to people about what troubles me. So talking to a doctor or psychiatrist is out of the picture. Getting real help is out of the picture, just cause it goes with the whole "talking about my feelings" thing. Honestly, this is the first time I have ever called out for help with this. Its getting to the point where I'm just going to give up. And I don't want too. Can someone give me any advise or anything? Please?

peachcabbage Nobody to turn to
  • replies: 1

Coming into this site and posting is very hard for me. One of the reasons is that my thoughts have lately become more and more disorganized. Another reason is that I am afraid that someone I know will read this. I have been diagnosed with depression ... View more

Coming into this site and posting is very hard for me. One of the reasons is that my thoughts have lately become more and more disorganized. Another reason is that I am afraid that someone I know will read this. I have been diagnosed with depression when I was 21, 2 years ago. I have a history of contemplating about suicide, but have never had the nerve to go through with it because I don't want my family (particularly my mom) to blame themselves for it. I am scared that one of these days, I would choose death over my love for my family. Last year, I was able to be more active and happy, but I have noticed that these past few months have me going back into the darkness of depression. I want to talk to my family and friends about it but my friends and father don't understand and write it off as me being dramatic, while my mother would just blame herself and say that she was a bad person, making me feel even worse. I have tried talking to a counselor before, but my mother would get angry if I share anything that would be considered damaging to what she thinks her image as a mother is. I feel that posting here is the best option for me at the moment. Has anyone else had a similar situation to mine, wherein they could not ask for professional help and have had nobody in their close circle to talk to? I feel very hopeless at the moment, but any advice on how to cope would be very much appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this.