Young people

Am I OCD (relationship OCD, if it really exsists) or is this just me?

replies: 4

Im 22 and hate living a life full of obsessive/ intrusive thoughts.I dont think I ever suffered from true anxiety untill I hit my mid teens. When I was 14 I began my first relationship with a guy from my school, the relationship was great. Roughly on... View more

Im 22 and hate living a life full of obsessive/ intrusive thoughts.I dont think I ever suffered from true anxiety untill I hit my mid teens. When I was 14 I began my first relationship with a guy from my school, the relationship was great. Roughly one month into the realationship I literally woke up one morning with serviere anxiety. I have never felt somthing so terrible, all these thoughts racing through my head about my partner such as 'are you sure you love him?' 'Will we be together forever?' 'Is he right for me?'. These intrusive throughts just appeared out of nowhere and didnt leave, I didnt eat for a week and was serverly depressed. Eventually the anxeity got less but the throughts remained.. I wanted so bad to stay in the relationship but decided to call it off about 1 year and 10 months later because I hated spiking every few months. Anyway, about THREE years later I was looking forward to finally finding a new guy, I was excited to start a new relationship without the anxiety from my first relationship. I met this guy and I liked him straight away but he already had a girlfriend. As time went on I liked him more.. it was a serious serious crush and I wanted him so badly. After about a year and a half from the time we first met, he broke up with his girlfriend and we slept together a couple of days later. I was so happy and then BAM the next day after wanting this guy for so long those intrusive thoughts came back 'are you sure you love him?' over and over, we never even went out, we just did it a couple of times and now I cant even walk to the train station because i have crippiling anxiety about wheher I love him.. what?? 6 months later I met my current bf, we have been toegether for 3 years, his my best friend. From the start of the relationship I had very bad anxiety due to my part experiences and had the same intrusive thoughts.. I learnt to live with it and it did get better.. in the last year ive been pretty good but the anxiety has spiked again. WHY IS THIS HAPPENEING..I love him so much but I have had this doubting thougths with every guy ive been with. Also I might add.. I also have to check my alarm 5 time before bed, that Ive taken my pill 3 times. I have to check my car is locked every time I park it by shutting the car checking every door and boot, checkign the lights are shut. When ive done that I walk away from the car and then need to repeat that prosses 2-3 times before im sure my car is closed before I can leave it.

I don't know what's wrong with me

replies: 1

Hey all,I'm new here so I'll just stick in a bit of background info before I get to the point. I'm 19 year old male. I have suffered from free-floating anxiety and panic attacks with frequent dissociation (sometimes not occurring during panic attacks... View more

Hey all,I'm new here so I'll just stick in a bit of background info before I get to the point. I'm 19 year old male. I have suffered from free-floating anxiety and panic attacks with frequent dissociation (sometimes not occurring during panic attacks).My condition has gradually worsened since leaving high school and making the transition into university. A few months ago I was admitted into a pysch hospital and I was diagnosed severe panic disorder with agoraphobia. I was there for 7 weeks and got out roughly a month ago. Since then I've been seeing a psychologist and a GP once a fortnight. But since I got out, I've noticed other things about me that seem un-related to panic disorder. I have an extreme fear of being abandoned and whenI' m alone I get really unstable, to the point where I often contemplate suicide. (Admins feel free to edit if inappropriate)I can't be around people for too long as it mentally drains me. I get really stressed and anxious and often leave social gatherings, ect early to avoid freaking out. I also get sudden un-explainable periods where I feel reckless and suicidal for literally no reason at all. During these periods I engage in reckless self-destruction without really knowing why, there's no reason too, I just feel like I want to at the time so I do (does that sound weird). I won't go into specific details as it maybe triggering, but I will say that I don't drink excessively and I've never used illicit substances because the fear of being out of control and panicking is overwhelming. I'm on medication, which has helped significantly, that's why I don't understand? Why do I still compulsively self-destruct without a reason? I'm not a violent person, by the way. Why do I still dissociate for hours?What's wrong with me? My life is fine now, I'm financially stable, I have a support network, I have friends, I'm going back to uni soon. Why do I experience sudden periods of being suicidal? I don't want to die when I'm "normal". Why do I always irrationally think like everyone is going to leave me and I have to frantically cling on them to feel safe? I know it's not a rational thing. Is it a personality thing? And I still over-think every situation until it drives me crazy. I do relaxation, I do CBT, I've got help which has reduced the severity of my condition but it's still there. My head makes me so frustrated, I just want the bad thoughts to stop. beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

nowhere else to go..

replies: 1

i just created an account here because I have a lot to get off my chest and i need guidance. ill try and keep a reallllllly long story as short as possible. i suffered through years and years and years of abuse, then a lot of mental abuse that made m... View more

i just created an account here because I have a lot to get off my chest and i need guidance. ill try and keep a reallllllly long story as short as possible. i suffered through years and years and years of abuse, then a lot of mental abuse that made me feel worthless and like a waste of a life. and i was sexually abused once in a semi unrelated event and i don't feel comfortable talking about it. and i tend to suffer from bad sleep paralysis, basically a sleep disorder when your mind wakes up while your body is still in its sleeping stage and you can see, but cant move and you get really bad/scary/demonic hallucinations. theres a lot of small things i leaft out obviously but the point is, all of this has lead up to me, a 19 year old who only dreams of a new life. yes i experimented with drugs a little bit to try and "cure" my thoughts but i stopped because they made things worse and i have self- harmed a few times but not recently. and i tried killing myself but that obviously didn't work. i gave up on religion because i felt abandoned by god, but after a long internal conflict with the way i was brought up i started to believe again in hopes of change. and right now im at the worst state ive ever been because a 2 weeks ago i dislocated my leg and tore 2 ligaments in my knee so basically im laying alone in my bed thinking about everything and its all crashing down on me. i feel like i said too much to start and im not sure what will happen after i post this but if anyone can give me advice or anything i would greatly appreciate it

I don't know what's wrong!

replies: 2

I'm not 100% sure what's going on with me. I am constantly tired, i never want to go/be at school, i am crying all the time! People are telling me that it's just part of puberty and whatever but i am pretty that it's more than that. My friends are gr... View more

I'm not 100% sure what's going on with me. I am constantly tired, i never want to go/be at school, i am crying all the time! People are telling me that it's just part of puberty and whatever but i am pretty that it's more than that. My friends are great but they don't understand. I am so upset and exhausted all the time! I want to know what's going on.

I cant stand feeling like this for much longer

replies: 2

All I can think about when I am angry or sad is hurting myself or just putting an end to the misery. Why not? Have to live with it anyway.. I cant stand feeling like this for much longer and I am calling BS on the stupid medication I have to take eve... View more

All I can think about when I am angry or sad is hurting myself or just putting an end to the misery. Why not? Have to live with it anyway.. I cant stand feeling like this for much longer and I am calling BS on the stupid medication I have to take everyday, the GP who is always grumpy to see me, the expensive psychiatrist appointments and the stupid councillor sessions which don't do crap! When I finally found someone I connected with they were impossible to get in to see. And mum just LOVES to complain and throw the guilt trip on me. My parents use to care.. Now they don't seem it. They just complain or stand up for each other. I don't get a say! if im angry my mum is angry. She is stubborn! I cant take this much longer. Im frustrated, angry, annoyed, upset, disappointed, NUMB! Basically everything negative. And ive tried managing it. Not helping. I really do hate myself and my stupid life. beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

I've lost my personality

replies: 3

I feel like I have lost myself. This feeling comes and goes. I'm not sure what it is. Im not sure where it came from. The thing is, a few years ago (about 16 yrs old) I used to be so fun, full of life, sharp and quick witted. I nearly never got nervo... View more

I feel like I have lost myself. This feeling comes and goes. I'm not sure what it is. Im not sure where it came from. The thing is, a few years ago (about 16 yrs old) I used to be so fun, full of life, sharp and quick witted. I nearly never got nervous. I could work a room full of people. I had a great sense of humor and I did not care what people thought of me. I had the ability to make any dull situation into a fun one. One day, that all disappeared. I wish I could say what caused it but I just don't know. It happened out of nowhere. I feel like I've lost myself and I feel so empty. I'm 18 now and most days I just sit on my phone all day watching videos or browsing the net. It's like I'm a robot and I hate it. Im 18 i should be out enjoying life like how I used to be. I have friends but I don't see them much because I feel awkward, I don't know why. I also have this crazy fear of meeting up with someone and not having anything to talk about or just doing something stupid like spilling my drink, and then my face will go red. I think that kind of holds me back from seeing friends and meeting new people. I used to be so confident with people and any social situation but nowadays a simple task like paying for groceries raises my heart beat. Why am I like this? I don't even know what caused this. I feel so tired and drained all the time. It's like I'm blank. I used to be the life of the party but I think if i was to go to a party now I would just feel awkward. It's easier to just lay in bed and not talk to anyone. How can I get my personality back?

i feel very lonely, no friends at all

replies: 5

hi everyone , im new to this forum and im here just because i feel so sad and down ,i appreciate your help thankfully , most of my life i was all alone, i never had a friend in my school days and if i had one they were some classmates in secondary sc... View more

hi everyone , im new to this forum and im here just because i feel so sad and down ,i appreciate your help thankfully , most of my life i was all alone, i never had a friend in my school days and if i had one they were some classmates in secondary school or now in collage , they are not real friends and they come to me whenever they nedd me for school matters or something related, i cant talk to them like a friend , i feel very depressed that i can talk to no one and no one really wants to be my friend except for getting benefits from me. i have a boyfriend for tow years , and for one year i was extremely happy and had no more problem and during the time i wasnt the old sad me , , but i feel very needy and dependent to him now and it sucks ,it makes me feel dump and relevant person and it makes me like a miserable girl,i know men dont lke this type of women , i need all his attention and that`s right he supports me most of the time but he has his friends, life , etc , i feel he ignores me sometimes he says he cant spend all the time with me. when we are not together we dont talk to message each other that much .but he says he loves me , i dont know what to do , how to make friends because im not a social person and people are not interested at me and neither i , sometimes i hate all the people around me but i still need some special ones that understands me and i understand them and how not to lose my boyfriend because i gets angry of him most of times and also makes him angry and sad with my words, and i dont want to hurt him but i cant stop this, the feeling of lonliness and having no friend rush to my head all the time and makes me pathetic

I can't tell whether I'm depressed.

replies: 2

Hello.I'm a 17 year old boy, I can't tell whether I am depressed so I'll explain how I have been feeling. 2 months ago I noticed myself becoming less happy and feeling very upset, I stopped enjoying doing the this I use to enjoy doing, they started t... View more

Hello.I'm a 17 year old boy, I can't tell whether I am depressed so I'll explain how I have been feeling. 2 months ago I noticed myself becoming less happy and feeling very upset, I stopped enjoying doing the this I use to enjoy doing, they started to feel pointless and a waste of time. Sometimes instead of getting out of bed in the mornings i'd rather lay there and stare at the wall dwelling in my thoughts about my future. I feel like a failure, like my future is bleak and without purpose. Since I no longer go to school I don't have many friends whom I stay in contact with, I find it hard making new friends, because everything people 'I don't know' do and say irritates me (could just be because my generation is SO dumb.) I feel like I'm just a body walking around living day by day, with no power to achieve anything I want. A lot of the time I feel like crying but the tears never come. When I'm alone that is when it is at its worst, i can't stop my mind from thinking I'm a failure. I have had thought of suicide only once or twice, but will never act on such an absurd thing. I haven't told anyone this because I don't won't to bother others with my problems. But yeah that's how I've been feeling the past 2 months, if you could please tell me if these are signs of depression, and if I should see someone about them I would greatly appreciate it. beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

I'm underage and can't see a GP

replies: 2

I'm 14 years old and I want to go see a GP and get assessed for depression but I can't without my mum knowing and I don't want her to know. She doesn't know that I'm having a tough time at home and school, that I cant sleep anymore, I don't eat as mu... View more

I'm 14 years old and I want to go see a GP and get assessed for depression but I can't without my mum knowing and I don't want her to know. She doesn't know that I'm having a tough time at home and school, that I cant sleep anymore, I don't eat as much as I used to and that I want to give up. Is there anyway I could see a GP without her knowing?

Im always nervous and on the edge, please help

replies: 2

i'm 17 and i have had this problem for a very long time. I am always nervous and on the edge, whether i am at school, work, with friends and even family and i try really hard to stop it but i can't. On a weekly basis I'll lock myself in my room or th... View more

i'm 17 and i have had this problem for a very long time. I am always nervous and on the edge, whether i am at school, work, with friends and even family and i try really hard to stop it but i can't. On a weekly basis I'll lock myself in my room or the bathroom and cry, feeling hopeless and worthless, and sometimes evenself harm. I'll laugh so much and make all these stupid jokes, I am very happy at this point and within seconds i will feel really depressed and start crying, it has happened in front of my mother before but she does not think it is a problem, what should i do? please help me... beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Pinned discussions

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

All discussions

Am I OCD (relationship OCD, if it really exsists) or is this just me?

replies: 4

I don't know what's wrong with me

replies: 1

nowhere else to go..

replies: 1

I don't know what's wrong!

replies: 2

I cant stand feeling like this for much longer

replies: 2

I've lost my personality

replies: 3

i feel very lonely, no friends at all

replies: 5

I can't tell whether I'm depressed.

replies: 2

I'm underage and can't see a GP

replies: 2

Im always nervous and on the edge, please help

replies: 2

Young people

New to this Forum? Please read this first! replies: 0

Am I OCD (relationship OCD, if it really exsists) or is this just me? replies: 4

I don't know what's wrong with me replies: 1

nowhere else to go.. replies: 1

I don't know what's wrong! replies: 2

I cant stand feeling like this for much longer replies: 2

I've lost my personality replies: 3

i feel very lonely, no friends at all replies: 5

I can't tell whether I'm depressed. replies: 2

I'm underage and can't see a GP replies: 2

Im always nervous and on the edge, please help replies: 2

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

Am I OCD (relationship OCD, if it really exsists) or is this just me?

replies: 4

I don't know what's wrong with me

replies: 1

nowhere else to go..

replies: 1

I don't know what's wrong!

replies: 2

I cant stand feeling like this for much longer

replies: 2

I've lost my personality

replies: 3

i feel very lonely, no friends at all

replies: 5

I can't tell whether I'm depressed.

replies: 2

I'm underage and can't see a GP

replies: 2

Im always nervous and on the edge, please help

replies: 2