Have you ever had that feeling like you're never enough?
No matter what I do, I always feel like less than what I want and what everyone else expects me to be.
I've been struggling with eating, exercise and everything I usually do normally. Now I feel like I constantly eat junk foods and neglect exercising all at once. I feel very disgusting and that everyone else around has a better life than I do. Which is probably not true because I know everyone has their own problems. But sometimes, I just get tired of trying to impress myself till the point I just neglect everything and give up. I stay in bed all day doing nothing in some days.
I used to suffer from anorexia a few years ago. Body image was a very sensitive issue for me, I always wanted to look fit and skinny. However now, I eat very much and too much of the wrong things making me very conscious of my body and weight. I always feel ugly, no matter how many times I try to fix it by incorporating a "healthy lifestyle", I would always fail and go back to the start, depressed and unmotivated. I don't know why, but I really hate myself and I don't know what to do to be able to fix that issue.
People always told me happiness is a choice or you are very beautiful inside and out and all those other sentimental words, but my mind choses not to believe it because I have such strong hatred towards my body and my image. I can't help but always feeling lonely and unable to pick myself up. There has been times where I just want to give up trying because there seems to be no way out of this vicious cycle.
I'm not sure what I should do... and I hope anyone could help me.
