feeling inhuman

[Guest_74206195]

hey all, 22NB here. I've never really had the courage to make a post here, but life has a way of isolating you and putting you through trial after trial without stopping, and frankly something needs to change before I eventually fail one of them for good.

I've gone looking all over the place for somewhere to get help but there really just isnt one. ive never been given the chance to see a doctor or psychiatrist and every therapist ive ever had never knew how to work with me, i dont keep friends and my family simply won't hear it. and these days, i outright refuse to use any of those emergency hotlines anymore, not a soul I encountered on them ever cared about anything but whether or not i was going to die then and there. I just don't know what to do.

even among my generation, I seem to be an outsider? i feel such little connection to the things that other 20-somethints talk about. i struggle to even keep my two feet on the earth. why then?

why can't i seem to understand humanity? why can't i fathom surviving much longer? what did i do wrong to feel so far from the people i share a generation with? am i really the only one so utterly lost?

[amd1953]

Hi 22NB,

I used to be in my 20's but now I am 72 years old.   Probably not the fountain of knowledge that you're hoping for, but I do know what it is like to be an outsider.   In my mind there are two types of people; those who want to be around other people and those who try to get as far away from them as possible.   I can tell you that I wasted two thirds of my life desperately trying to fit in, but I just never did.   In the end, I just decided to give and not to worry about it.   It has worked for me because I would rather be on my own than mixing with someone who hates the sight of me and never has a good word for me.   I would advise you to take time out and build yourself up.   Fix the things that might be working against you, if you can and if you still want to mix it with the rest of humanity, you will know that there is nothing else you can do about yourself.   If someone doesn't like you then avoid them and move on quickly.   Do not waste any more time on people who are troublesome.   Happiness comes from within not from other people.   No one is coming to save you.   It is all up to you.   Hotlines and support groups are fine but all they can do is offer advice.   You are the one who has to put a plan into action

Good luck