Feeling helpless and frustrated

[Tanye]

I have trouble discussing mental health with my parents as I feel very guilty when I do so. Around 7 months ago I hit a really low point and tried to open up a bit to my mum. Doing this she promised me that we'd look into a form of counselling. I've opened up more since then and I've shown interest in recieving counselling more and have been told many times that I will get it. My mum has expressed that it is quite expensive and I have been using coping techniques for some of my problems, but some of my problems I have no what they are or how to cope with them and would like some professional help. I understand counselling is very expensive, so I've tried to just be as patient as I can, and after the birth of my brother I know my mums a little stressed. Despite trying to be understanding, there have been circumstances where I've been feeling like my feelings were being neglected. I've been told counselling is expensive and it will take a little while to get it because of it, but my siblings are often getting new video games or other things they don't need, or we buy dinner multiple times a week despite having food in the house. I've just been feeling a little frustrated that I keep expressing that I feel I need professional help, for it to be said that it's quite expensive, and then have my parents turn around and spend money like this. I feel really guilty for being frustrated because it makes me feel like I'm being a spoilt brat and not thinking about anyone but me, but I'm still getting frustrated. I feel especially bad as my mum took me to the GP and had a short discussion on it, so it was more than nothing. What I want to know is if I'm just being impatient and a spoilt brat or if I have a semi valid reason for being frustrated. If so, does anyone have any tips on how I can talk about it with my mum without seeming like I'm nagging?

[LisaLAynE]

Hi Tanye,

First off I want to say that I’ve been in your situation and can relate. I went through a few years telling nobody about how I felt which was the worst thing I could possibly do. I bottled it up until I couldn’t hold it anymore and had a breakdown and then eventually got help. I think its really brave of you that you’ve opened up to your mum. In my opinion your issue is really important and should be taken care of even if it might be slightly expensive. Your life is worth so much more than money. Your mum really cares about you as she already took you to the GP. If she hasn’t organised a counsellor yet and you desperately need one, ask to talk to your mum privately and tell her the whole truth (if you haven’t already) about how you feel and on how important this means to you. In the meantime, always feel free to call a helpline when you’re feeling down (lifline Australia) : 13 11 14 ( headspace) : 1800 650 890 (Kids helpline) : 1800 55 1800 Or if you have a school counsellor make an appointment with them.

I hope this helped you and I hope you feel better 😉

good luck!

[Summer Rose]

Hi Tanye

Thank you for sharing your story.

You are very brave to reach out for help, both at home and on the forum. Well done.

You are quite right to feel frustrated. Medical care is not a luxury, it is a necessity. You have every right to ask for help from your parents to deal with your mental health issues.

Do you think you could try talking with your dad? It's just a suggestion, as mum may be preoccupied and tired having just had a baby. You could explain to dad how you feel and ask him to help you talk to mum. Dad can also take the lead and help get an appointment organised for you.

You can also speak with your school counselor or whoever is responsible for pastoral care. This might give you some relief and you could also ask the counselor to help you speak with your parents.

Don't give up and don't lose hope. Your parents love you and I'm sure they want the best for you. If I had to guess I'd say mum might not understand how unwell you really feel.

Kind thoughts to you

[Tanye]

Thanks for your reply!

I'm so happy you managed to get help. Breakdowns are scary and I'm happy you finally got help.

I know my mum really cares, and I was so happy when she bought it up to the GP. I definitely agree with the fact that I need to tell her the whole truth in order to urge the need for counselling.

Thank you for providing the numbers, I'll try calling one up sometime. I'll also try to get an appointment with the school counsellor c:

Thank you!

[Tanye]

Thank you for responding!

It seems really weird, but I find it really hard to talk to my dad. I don't know why, I think it has something to do with the fact i haven't been around him as long as I have with my mum. He works away so I don't see him as much. I'm definetly trying to gain more confidence with talking to him, and grin and bear it and talk to him to get help.

I'll try booking a session with my school counsellor, but she isn't there very often unfortunately.

Thank you!