My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me 6 months ago. I didn't see it coming and was very very much in love with him. The reasons are still unclear, but he's blaming it all on me. We're in contact a lot but it's never good. He has moved on and got another girlfriend almost instantly, but I'm always contacting him for different reasons.
But right now I feel like I need him back. I still love him, even though he's broken me and has said some quite nasty stuff to me. I know that he doesn't love me and doesn't want me in his life at all but I am stuck in this depressed, unhappy place and I cannot get out. I've been seeing a counsellor and stuff but I miss being happy and the person I was. It feels like the only thing that will take me out of this is him.
I've had an urge to call him and tell him that I love him and that I would do anything to have him back because I would. I really genuinely love and care about him, as a best friend as well. I wrote him a message about a month back explaining that I loved him still but now I just really, really desperately want him back. He's happy with his new girlfriend, who I'm so so jealous of and upset about whenever I see something about her/them, and out of nowhere he just changed and gave up on us and me. I want a second chance, and I would literally do anything to have him back again.
I've tried moving on and getting to know other guys and stuff (and I'm not giving up on moving on), but I'm still in love with someone else and that makes everything so hard. I really love him as a person and he was my best friend, and I can't let him slip away like that without fighting for it.
I want to ask him what it will take for him to come back but I know the reality is that he wouldn't. I still have the urge to call and cry to him and *beg* him to come back and I still want to try and make it possible. We had a very honest and genuine relationship and I still feel like I can tell him anything without him judging me or without trying to impress him, which is why I feel this way. I'm not sure what I'm asking - if anyone knows how I can reach out to him and let him know that I would do anything to love him and be with him again, or how I can just move on.
I've realised that life is unfair and that we don't always get what we want, which is why I've kind of accepted the fact I might just have to move on (even though I'm finding that so hard). But if he came back I couldn't explain to you how much happier I would be.
