Don't know what to do anymore

[Lolly11]

I really don't know what to do anymore. I used to have dreams and goals, but within the last 6 months my life has completely flipped upside down. My Grandfather died, he was my best friend and was the only person that stood up for me and didn't treat me different just because I'm adopted. Around about the same time my best friend started a rumor about me and ruined my relationship with my room mates. In spite of all that I met an amazing guy and fell head over heels in love. But he has recently left me and had broken my heart. At the same time I have gotten really sick and can't afford to live where I am so I have had to move back with my parents and 2 hours away from my whole life, back to a town in have spent my whole life dreaming about the day I can get away. I know this seems stupid, but I really don't feel like I have anything to live for anymore, I'm broken hearted, in constant pain become I'm sick, lost everything that I have worked so hard for, live in a place that I struggled in growing up, and surrounded by family who are stubborn, refuse to try and understand, and who always tell me to grow up and stop being so stupid. I am trying so hard but every time they put me down like that I get worse. I already hate myself enough, and I try and explain but they don't listen. I just feel like I have nothing at all to live for anymore.

[startingnew]

hi Lolly and welcome to BB

it sounds like your going through a real rough time and it might feel like the world around you is crumbling. im sorry for the loss of yuor grandfather- that in itself is really hard. you are grieving and that isnt an easy feat but over time it becomes easier. one suggestion for that is to allow yourself to feel whatever it is in regards to him. i think theres 7 stages to grief that i can think of so youll go through sadness, anger, denial, and much more before you start to be able to fele ok about it and thats fine and is really common. also theres no time limit on grief so theres no pressure to be ok the next day ok. sending lots of hugs xox

your not alone with the stubborn family either, alot of members (including myself) struggling with families not understanding or thinking that we are attention seeking. your not at all but rather its a silent cry for help so i am very glad you have reached out her for some support.

i would really reccomend you speak to some offline supports too and the first step would be to speak to your gp (if your over 18 your parent dont need to know anything at all- unless you choose to tell them) and they will perform a mental health assessment and then will be able to refer you to a psychologist for more help.

also if things get to overwhelming, thinking of self harm or suicide esp (or anytime your struggling) then please call a helpline as they can help you faster than a response on the forums

some numbers that might help are

beyond blue- 1300224636 and they also have chat

lifeline 13 11 14 and they also have chat

kidshelpline (they deal with people up to 25yrs) 1800 55 1800 and also have chat

headspace (up to 25yrs) - 1800 650 890 and they also have chat

all of these sites also ahve heaps of information so please feel free to check out their sites to get some more information on supporting yourself as well