Domestic Violence & Child Abuse

[ICan]

Two very important people in my life were abused growing up, and I still wonder everyday if it will happen again. I want to raise awareness for domestic violence and child abuse. I want people to be able to share their stories and get help. I have written a story on domestic violence and if anyone is interested I have written a story on wattpad to raise awareness it. If you are being abused please speak up, don't stand alone. You deserve to be safe and free. If you don't know how to speak up this site is a great place to start. Please help me end domestic violence and child abuse for future generations!

[Doolhof]

Hi ICan,

Thank you so much for starting up this post and for wanting to stand up for others who may not be bale to help themselves, or know where to get help.

My first marriage was one of violence and sexual abuse. I literally had to flee our home for fear of my life.

Some people don't seem to realise the strong hold an abuser has over the person they are abusing. As a victim you can feel so intimidated, scared and confused that you stay in that situation because you can actually fear for your life if you were to leave.

My husband found out where I was hiding and he came with some mates of his to drag me back again. I managed to escape and flee from him once more. I had to apply for another job so he could not find me. Thankfully he gave up.

I left the house with just my handbag and the clothes I was wearing. But I had my life. Eventually I was able to start again but the trauma of that marriage surfaces now and then and I cringe at the thought that other ladies are experiencing the same kind of violence and abuse.

The problem is, that it is not only the women and the children who are abused, some men are abused also in their relationships with women and with other men.

We all need to be aware that abuse is not just men on women. The males who have been abused need help and recognition as well. I hope people can recognise that and can assist the guys who have been abused one way or another.

Abuse of any kind is despicable and the sufferers do need help and support. So thanks again for starting up this post.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi ICan,

Me again. I was just wondering if you could explain what "wattpad" is? I have not heard of this before and there may be others who are just as much in the dark about this as I am.

Thanks, from Mrs. Dools

[Pixie15]

Hi ICan,

Doolhof has very generously shared her story. No one should need to suffer any abuse either physical, emotional or psychological. Your fear of it happening again is well grounded. Apparently the cycle is repeating and those who have grown up in households with abuse have more likelihood to become the abuser or the abused in later relationships.

I have read quite a lot about this because I have had concern for my own relationship. My partner of over 30 years has suffered from anxiety and depression. The way I reacted to his anxious activity has been detrimental to my own well-being. I also undertook a course of CBT which helped me to better understand and develop some new ways of reacting. Or maybe that should be not reacting.

Though it is true that men can also be at the receiving end of abuse I wonder if there is less statistics to show this because men are less likely to report or more likely to leave the relationship. There is the idea of being threatened leading us to fight or flight. I have read that this idea was reached with research carried out mainly with men and that women are in fact more likely to tend and befriend.

I also wonder if there are others like myself who have grown up with too idealized idea of the "Home" as a safe place rather than the battleground it tends to be. Although maybe it is not a battleground for everyone. My life has improved since I have stopped compromising myself for this ideal.

Thanks for raising this issue and please keep up the battle.

Grateful.

[ICan]

Thank you for sharing your story, you are a very brave woman. I am glad you got away because you don't deserve that and no one else should experience it. Your story is similar to my mothers, and I'm happy to help work with you to raise awareness. I agree men get abused too, I just haven't known any personally who have, but that doesn't mean it matters any less. Thank you for sharing your story gain you are very brave and remember you are an amazing woman and together we can help make a difference

 Thank you again,

ICan

[ICan]

Oh I'm so sorry!

Wattpad is an app, but also an online website where you can post stories that you have written or fan fictions. Sorry again for not explaining, but if you are interested please check out mine and I can give you the name of it. 

Warm regards,
ICan

[ICan]

Thank you for sharing your opinion, sorry to hear about your husbands struggles. You are brave for sharing your story and it took a lot of courage to stand up and get help. My mum, friend and I have all experienced depression and anxiety and I think it's important to reach out and learn how to deal with this trauma. I am glad you agree with raising awareness and thank you for your support. The more people that we can inform about the issue the sooner we can put an end to it. Please help end domestic violence and child abuse thank you for all your help:)

ICan

[Doolhof]

Hi ICan,

Yes, please let me know the title of your story on wattpad. I joke with my friends that I still use snail mail and carrier pigeons! Some younger people may not know anymore what they are! Ha. Ha.

I too am pleased that I had the courage in the end to leave my first husband. One of the sad things about that whole issue is that I asked my Mum for help, but she told me I had gotten myself into that mess so I had to live with it.

I really didn't know how much longer I could put up with the abuse or when I would actually end up with broken bones!

It would be interesting to find out statistics relating to how many men find themselves in abusive relationships!

Thanks again for starting up this post. Cheers for now, from Mrs. Dools