Please help me understand what's going on with my girlfriend

[Hippo123]

My current girlfriend and I have been going out for a year now, however we had know each other well before then. She had been battling depression for years, but two months into our relationship something changed and she wasn't herself. She seemed rather delusional. She then

disappeared off the face of the Earth. After 8 weeks, I saw her again by accident. She was a mess. I went a sat down with her, and I could see all her scars . She told me she had been admitted into hospital because she was feeling (quote) 'a little bit sad.' I slowly started to get to know her after ten weeks of absence. She told me shadows were harassing her, and they told her if she saw me that they would start harassing me too.

 It seemed that my girlfriend recovered. She saw a psychologist, but recently seemed to convince her that she was all better. But recently, she hasn't been herself. When we've been out together, she has been getting

anxiety attacks often by doing small things such as ordering a meal. Her delusions have come back. She gets very angry and seems abandoned if, for example, I have to leave her earlier than the time I told her and then blames herself for it. Her behaviour has been self destructive. She's been restricting her diet, and losing way too much weight. For years she has been anti drugs and alcohol, but recently I've caught her going out to get drugs at 2am in the morning. Her depression is also a struggle as I have found she has been planning ways how she will kill herself in her journal. 

 She has

suffered from a tough upbringing. Her father is an alcoholic, and her mother suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder. She no longer associates with either of them. I don't know how I can help my girlfriend. I love her so much, and would never leave her. She refuses to go back to her psychologist because she doesn't trust her. Does anyone know what could be wrong with her? Should she be hospitalised because she is a risk too herself? 

Thanks. 

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[Zeal]

Hi Hippo,

I felt sad while reading this - your girlfriend is going through a lot. She definitely needs to keep getting regular professional help, even if she thinks she's getting better. It sounds like she's relapsed. Do you know if your girlfriend has been diagnosed with a mental health condition before?

Your girlfriend's comment that "shadows were harassing her" sounds like something a person with schizophrenia would say. Though I am not a psychologist! It sounds like your girlfriend hasn't told you much about her medical condition. Next time you see her, you could say that you want to support her, and that it might help you both if you knew more about her health challenges. If she doesn't want to share this information, then at least you've tried.

Hopefully your girlfriend is getting treatment for her anxiety attacks. It must worry you that her delusions have returned. Do you know how long she has had delusions? Perhaps she had delusions before you met her. You don't have to tell me this personal info if you don't want to. These are important questions for you to think about, and for you to ask your girlfriend.

Significant weight loss is a worry. This behaviour could lead to a dangerous eating disorder. I had an eating disorder over two years ago now. Try to keep aware of further changes, and encourage her to see her doctor. Eating disorder sufferers often hide their disturbed eating patterns and/or weight loss, and tend to resist help. She might not have an eating disorder, but it's a possibility.

It's great your girlfriend used to not like drugs and alcohol. I'm the same way. You're right to be worried that she's now using recreational drugs. Many drugs can make the effects of mental illness worse, and interfere with prescription medications such as antidepressants. If you're really close to your girlfriend, perhaps you could sit in with her during one of her medical appointments. This way she has someone she trusts by her side, and you will be informed about her health. This may not be a good option in your situation, but it's just a thought.

I hope your girlfriend is okay, and that she can get the right help.

Best wishes,

SM

[shad0wings]

Hippo,

First of all, wow. I would like to say you are one awesome person to have supported your girlfriend for all this time. Sadly, she sounds very, very, sick. Sounds like to me she has a number of things impacting her. Seeing 'shadows' and them 'harrassing' her seems like to me that it is more than just Depression or Anxiety. Her Mothers personality disorder has more than likely passed down to her - along with both depression and anxiety. 

She is in dire need of help and I suggest you call BeyondBlue services and/or other helpline organisations because she is in incredible danger to herself. 

As much as I don't want to burden you, she will not seek help on her own behalf - it is past that point. You will need to take action and seek help for her, even if she hates you for it. It will be hard and extremely challenging, however, with your support and medical attention, there is no way but up.

I wish the best for both of you - stay strong.

(p.s i'm not a doctor)