Doing Well in Life... does loneliness matter?

[axkc]

I’m often questioning why I feel so worthless. I get consistent As and A+s in school, I am fairly good at sport, and money is no issue. The only problem is, these things seem to isolate me.

I’m sure a large number of you are struggling with stress and anxiety due to school work, but as I am able to learn things quickly and manage my projects and assignments, I find it difficult to connect with those in my school.

My friends, or rather the people I hang out with often scorn me, feel jealous, when I say that I got 100% on the last maths test. I know I shouldn’t be hanging out with people who make me feel bad about myself, but at the moment there is no one I can turn to, my school is small, and I don’t go online very often, so I am unlike introverts who spill their heart on the internet.

I love my teachers; there’s no doubting that, but they have to care for so many of their students, students that are struggling, unlike me. I know that in a world ruled by social media that it is easy to fall into the trap of hiding feelings, but I don’t want that for myself. I want to find someone I am comfortable with. I have my motivation to learn, but I don’t have the drive to continue living like this.

I would seek solace in my family, but it’s hard for me because I am not close with them, and my twin is constantly critical of my personality. I always end up feeling really bad about myself, but I can’t say anything because she has self esteem issues.

I dream of the care of a friend, but am plagued by the feelings of worthlessness, invisibility and ungratefulness for the things I do have.

[startingnew]

Hello axkc and welcome to BB

firstly i just want to say well done on reaching out for more supports. Of course you matter! Your not worthless at all though i do understand those feelings all to well.

Do you think it woul be beneficial for you to speak to a psychologist about how your coping and to help ma age your worthlessness feelings?

Lonliness can be really hard to deal with esp if you feel alone even in a room full of people either because you cant relate or feel left out.

Do you do any activities outside of school that you could meet some new friends like a study group, sporting club, book club, volunteer work, or work in general?

Also know the helplines are there if you feel you need some more support too. Kidshelpline, beyond blue or headspace would be good for you if you would be up for talking to a qualified therapist either via phone or through webchat (like text messaging not face to face)

theres also a thread here called 'friends cafe for under 25s' im sure some other young members would be able to relate to you as well as myself

Please keep talking to us here as you like. Your more than welcome to.

[Croix]

Dear Axkc~

To answer the question in your title - of course it matters. While there might be a few people happy as hermits for most of us we really need others, both as acquaintances, friends and hopefully on day as a partner. Like so many you have not found the ones you need as yet and hurt and feel alone. A horrible isolated way to be.

Doing well, getting great marks and not having to stress over academic work is an incredible bonus. You are gifted. I'm not surprised though that others, who do not do as well might see it differently and make disparaging remarks. I guess jealousy might be part of it, then again not wanting to admit they don't put the work in might be part of it too.

Startingnew has made some pretty good suggestions. In a small school everyone knows everyone, so you can't really hide your performance, however it also means you may be able to seek out those who don't go in for disparaging remarks. A study group is not a bad idea, there you can lead rather than be unhappily on the edge of a group.

I guess it all boils down finding and being with people who have similar interests and who behave reasonably and minimizing your time with the rest - and that includes a lot of social media where it is easy to insult and put down, hard for anyone to be a friend in the face of peer pressure.

I'm not sure what to say about your twin, if those critical remarks are based on her lack of self esteem you might think of how to build it up - what do you think?

Croix