Asking for advice on how to deal with how I feel at the moment.

[Hc2018]

Hello, this is my first time posting anything along these lines despite having felt off for a while now.

I'm a male, year 12 student currently completing the HSC and am finding it extremely hard to get motivated, both for my schoolwork and life in general. I am a sporty, popular teen that lacks for nothing friendship wise or financially. However, I have found that I am not particularly enjoying life but rather feel as if I'm within this constant grind that never ends. Sometimes I wonder if this is just a natural feeling that most school students experience but sometimes, like now, I feel so worn out and sick of my reality and crave some form of escape.

Smoking Marijuana used to be just a social thing for me, having tried it the first time almost 2 years ago. However, the last couple of months it has turned into a way to alleviate stress as well as give me a temporary escape; my problems are that little bit further away and can be put off until the last second (or night before). I know and recognize that this is a problem and the last couple of weeks have done my best to keep it to a weekend thing to do with mates, rather than the daily (weekends, schoolnights etc.) habit it was becoming. I don't believe I am addicted to weed itself, but rather find it is the only way I know how to get away from it all.

As of this point in my life I'm decided on the general area I would like to seek a career in, and even have a university/course that I am aiming for. My grades, while having slipped from previous standards, are still relatively high and not beyond redemption. Yet still I find myself sitting in this rut, not putting my all into school or really anything in life at the moment. My free time when not out with mates on a Friday/Saturday night involves simply lying in bed watching dumb Youtube videos for hours on end, watching as the time ticks by yet still I get up and do nothing more productive. When I'm high nothing changes, apart from the fact this routine becomes enjoyable.

It it just laziness? Have I just become a classic stoner who has nothing to achieve? Sometimes I wonder these thoughts and am unsure whether they are true or if I am actually facing a serious problem.

The whole purpose of my post is to gauge whether or not I should seek professional help with my current state of mind. Although I fight a lot with my parents and they are fairly intense, they still support and love me 100% and I am not worried about asking to see someone.

[startingnew]

Hello Hc2018 and welcome to the forums

well done on reaching out for supports and help as thats not an easy thing to to do.

It really sounds like your trying to get your life in order but are sounding stuck.

Do you think maybe its all the stress of the HSC that could be causing some of these feelings?

Do you think speaking to your careers advisor could set you on the right path in regards to what youd like to do when the hsc is finished?

Im really glad that your parents are supportive and i think its worth speaking to them about how youve been feeling. Do you think you could do that?

The first step in seeing a mh professional would be to speak to your gp. They can perform a mental health assessment and refer you to support services so you can get the right help you need and deserve.

again welcome and well done for reaching out. Hope to hear from you again soon

[james1]

Hey Hc2018,

Welcome! I am now 26 but when I was in school 8 years ago, felt similarly to you. As you say, it's a grind. It wasn't even like I disliked school because that's where my friends were - it just didn't feel like my thing.

I don't know if the weed is affecting anything. I think it does. But it sounds like, at it's core, you are still unhappy with something.

When I was in your shoes trying to figure out what to do and motivate myself to study for what everyone told me was the most important year, I just couldn't care less. In between exams, I'd just play video games. I think a lot of it had to do with not having any idea what I liked or wanted to do.

I didn't really get out of my non-caring phase until later, but I think that's okay too. There will be periods where things kind of don't seem to matter and it's not something that you need to be worried or frightened about because it happens to everybody.

Instead, it's worthwhile trying to find things that do help you. For example, seeking professional help or even the school counsellor could be a good way just to talk about these things. Also, it sounds like you don't currently really have any hobbies. Finding some good healthy hobbies can help you stay motivated in life generally - I find weed and even alcohol tend to do the opposite. Even youtube acts more like an energy-sapper.

James

[BenD]

Hey man,

I know the feeling well, its more frustrating than anything. But it sounds quite similar to a lot of us guys that went through at that age. Even now, I'm 26, I've got uni exams in a few weeks and I know I should be studying more but I still can't force myself. So I do stuff in the meantime that I enjoy, like gaming or exercising or even paid work, till I get my mojo back. I think James makes a good point above that you should try some enjoyable hobbies to fill in the spare time.

You sound like you've got a good barometer for how you are tracking - you know when you need to put in more work and you know when you are doing a good job. That applies to your weed use as well - you know when its getting a bit out of hand so you try to limit it. By all accounts it sounds like you're a pretty balanced dude. I went through a similar problem with booze recently, was drinking way too much during the week and now I only drink on weekends.

Also, its probably good to recognise that the way your feeling might be something that will come back to you after you leave school as well. I know I've felt that way even recently, but have had enough experience to manage the feeling.

So, in summary, if I were you I would try a few things:

1. Be kind to yourself; you've got naturally high-standards (which is a good thing) but beating yourself up about not meeting those standards is not going to help you get there.

2. Be patient; things are never as bad as they seem. A practical way of espousing patience is mindfulness, checkout some breathing exercises when you go on one of your youtube expeditions and have a go.

3. Perhaps have a chat with a school counsellor if you have one. Most of the stuff you have described seems pretty normal for a year 12 bloke, but a counsellor will be able to offer more tailored advice if you need it.

Best of luck, here if you need.

Ben