Depression is a doozy

[smile01]

After struggling with anxiety through my 19 years of life, I finally got rid of it. Taking medication, seeing a cousellor, I was finally in the clear! Then I very suddenly became depressed, to the point where I was sleeping upto 18 hours of the day. I spent 6mths living a life, literally not enjoying a single thing. I just wanted it to be over, there was no point at all, emotionless, numb and tuned off to the rest of the world.

 I felt like I was inside a huge cement statue, screaming to get out - but all others could see around me was cement composure, they couldnt see what I was feeling or how miserable I really was. Life is a struggle for me everyday, I am fighting the battle in my head, trying to be positive, to see something worth while in my day but it is hard, really hard.

 So many times I want to give up, but I just tell myself to keep going. But lately I have been really struggling. I attend uni and its been really hard at the moment. Im struggling to find the balance, the perfect recipe for good mental health, but ive come to the conclusion that no such recipe exists. We dont live in a perfect world nor a stagnant one. We just have to adapt and evolve with our environments as they change. This is a hard task let alone adding on the burden of depression. I am tired.

 I know life goes on and these feels are only for a time but this is where I am at now.

Please share your experiences or advice  

[LisaT]

Hi,

l'm not one to really be giving advice and im sure others will come along who have good tips but I can relate to the struggle sometimes you just have to dig deep put one foot in front of the other and keep on keeping on. Hang in there.

[geoff]

dear Smile, well I wish that your post was one of enjoyment, but unfortunately it's not for you at the moment, and how you feel is absolutely how depression drives us into a hole, so it's a sad comment.

I'm not sure that there is a 'perfect recipe for good mental health', as it doesn't follow the rules for everyone, because each individual has to develop their own pattern for living their own mental health.

Most of us when we are caught up in the spiral of depression become confused, unenthusiastic, tired and longing to go back to bed, hoping that tomorrow maybe a different day, possibly a better day, but it's not, and everyday will be the same until we decide that we want help.

You had a mammoth job to get rid of your anxiety after 19 years, because that's a damn long time, but you managed to overcome it with some help, and I suppose at what stage may not matter, so now you are back to square one, and before you take any blame for this, don't, because all of us are prone for this to happen, and even when I have overcome my depression it doesn't or can't stop me having a relapse, because I have.

You were on medication before, so I wonder whether you are taking them now, and if not it would be a good idea, as well as counselling.

Can I say that some people are able to pick up their hobbies that they once enjoyed, while others like myself had no interest in doing this, instead I changed my life around and it did a full 360 degree circle, so in other words I am doing everything that before I didn't do.

I hope that you can get back to us. Geoff.

[Neil_1]

Hi there smile01

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for sharing your post.

And just as Lisa has suggested, the time to dig deep and put one foot in front of the other and to move forward – albeit very slowly – is now.

You’re in a terrible low place at present and we don’t want you to stay where you are, so yes, you need to do all you can to try and move on from there.

My question to you now is:   are you back seeing a counsellor and are you back on medication as well??   If not, could I please suggest that you can try to put these two things into action?

When you were “in the clear” the first time, did you feel it was largely due to your support that you received:   meds, counsellor, etc?

Do you feel now that your illness is different this time or even possibly worse?

Hope to hear back from you.

Neil