Young people

Sick of life, but want a better life

replies: 2

I posted here some few weeks ago and have been away for the reason of feeling excluded, not by anyone here, but in that my experience is rather exclusive to select few people with depression. I don't feel inclined to go over my situation much again, ... View more

I posted here some few weeks ago and have been away for the reason of feeling excluded, not by anyone here, but in that my experience is rather exclusive to select few people with depression. I don't feel inclined to go over my situation much again, as my intent in posting again isn't to be triggered or adversely reminded of it or by it. Like many of you, I simply just can't sit knowing I will apparently never feel any better after so long, and being as young as I am (even though I feel so old). I was inclined to eventually take some advice, so here is what I received from doing so. I spoke to my GP and she is very perplexed and concerned about me. She has been working very hard to find me a social worker (one of my goals is to reduce my dependence on DSP and gain employment, even if casual, but part time at most), and I lack vocational training and skills. She hasn't found one that has worked with someone with what I have, which is something I prioritise because my personality is hard to work with. In regards to my depression, she really wants me to get some relief, but has no clue as to how to help me do so, given my situation and prior efforts. She advised to call my local acute care team to see if they could assist, but as per usual, they couldn't and did nothing but discriminate me. She also urged me to book an appointment with the last psychiatrist I saw, even though he was less than helpful last time, as she feels this is our only option. After much self criticism and general hopelessness as to what he could and might do for me, I did as she advised. However, it is not for 6 weeks. I see her a few weeks before that, was hoping I could give her insight next appointment but such is life. She said his suggestions and insights will probably be for much more aggressive forms of treatment than what I have previously tried. And by that she meant possibly stimulant medication off label or ECT, or some other brain stimulation. In addition to those being aggressive, they are also very costly, more than I can afford being on DSP. I said I highly doubtdoubt he will offer such things to me, for those valid reasons. She did ask me to ask him if she could run any biological tests (blood tests etc) for specific things that could be causing or contributing to my treatment resistance and depression. Any advice or support is highly appreciated, and thanks in advance.

I Feel Like a Burden?

replies: 1

I was diagnosed and given medication for depression and anxiety a few years ago, back when I was still in highschool. However I've now been graduated for over a year and am really beginning to spiral. Mainly, because I feel like a burden on my family... View more

I was diagnosed and given medication for depression and anxiety a few years ago, back when I was still in highschool. However I've now been graduated for over a year and am really beginning to spiral. Mainly, because I feel like a burden on my family. I live in a single parent household and we've been poor for as long as i can remember, I even had to defer from uni due to being unable to afford housing, etc. I've been trying to get a job for 2 years now and still haven't managed to be hired and my only friends moved away to go to uni, so I barely ever leave the house. Recently my mother has been having breakdowns and keeps telling me she just can't deal with the fact that I'm a financial strain and is sick of worrying about me never getting out and starting to get depressed for periods. She's at her breaking point because I'm financially reliable on her and because she's the only one I have to talk to about my moods. She's becoming unable to deal with being the only support I have, but as my situation gets worse, my moods get worse, which means I go to her for advice and she breaks down, starting the cycle again. I can't keep being such a burden to her, but my situation isn't getting any better money wise and I feel like I'm relapsing into depression again. She's not coping and I feel like both a financial and emotional burden on my family and I just don't know what to do. I don't really know what I hope to achieve by this. Advice? Support? Does anyone ever feel like their depression has made them a burden? In one way or another?

In a rut

replies: 2

This is my first post, and I've got to say the concept of typing out my problems for strangers to read is extremely foreign to me but I feel like the mere process of doing so we'll be beneficial, so here it goes. I'm 18 years old, and I finished year... View more

This is my first post, and I've got to say the concept of typing out my problems for strangers to read is extremely foreign to me but I feel like the mere process of doing so we'll be beneficial, so here it goes. I'm 18 years old, and I finished year 12 last year I did really well and got into the degree I thought I wanted. But now I'm starting uni mid year because the degree I enrolled in initially just wasn't for me. This change of events has created the struggles dealing with the fact I'm unemployed and that pretty much everyone I know my age is either in university, traveling or working full time. I know its not beneficial to compare myself to others but I simply can't help it, I am always by myself and my mind tends to wander into depressing, self loathing thoughts. At the moment I live for the weekends when I can go out, get drunk and be with my friends. But this is only making things worse... I feel worthless, useless and pathetic. I have little to no working experience and this worries me immensely, I feel as though I will never be employed because its tough to get a job at the moment and I'm competing with people who have experience and if I were an employer I'd hire the person with greater experience. I just don't know what to do for the months leading up to starting uni, ideally I'd like to work full time and save some money but it all just seems impossible right now. Having this mindset is incredibly frustrating because at times I feel like I'm being dramatic, irrational - just get a job, keep trying, right? But the process and my lack of experience and in turn confidence makes the whole process seem next to impossible. To summarise, I feel desperately alone, and pathetic. I have no idea how to make myself feel happy again.

Alone, confused and Panicking

replies: 5

I've recently moved to Wollongong to study psychology at university. Before that, I was at Sydney University, but I decided to move because firstly Wollongong University is less competitive and also because the degree in psychology has a combined hon... View more

I've recently moved to Wollongong to study psychology at university. Before that, I was at Sydney University, but I decided to move because firstly Wollongong University is less competitive and also because the degree in psychology has a combined honours, unlike Sydney. I have been struggling with depression for about 2 years and in the past year it has worsened. I thought that moving to Wollongong would be a good change and would make me happier. Since coming here, however, I've only felt worse. I feel really alone and I miss my family. Ever since I've moved here I have panic attacks and break downs everyday, sometimes multiple times in a day. I can't concentrate on any Uni work and I really don't know what to do. I have tried to make some friends. I live on campus at the moment but haven't really met anyone. I feel really alone in my room. I've joined so many different things to try and meet people but I haven't felt like I've made very strong friendships, just met people, which forget me the next day. I've joined societies and volunteering programs both on and off campus but nothing seems to really work. If I move back to Sydney, Ill have to go back to studying a really hard degree in a very competitive environment. Im afraid I won't get into the honours course and I won't be able to go on to further my study and become a psychologist, like I want to. But I'm afraid that staying here is making my depression worse. Im not sure what to do. Do I move back, stay here or take a gap year and just get away from both options all together? Please help!

Depression is a doozy

replies: 3

After struggling with anxiety through my 19 years of life, I finally got rid of it. Taking medication, seeing a cousellor, I was finally in the clear! Then I very suddenly became depressed, to the point where I was sleeping upto 18 hours of the day. ... View more

After struggling with anxiety through my 19 years of life, I finally got rid of it. Taking medication, seeing a cousellor, I was finally in the clear! Then I very suddenly became depressed, to the point where I was sleeping upto 18 hours of the day. I spent 6mths living a life, literally not enjoying a single thing. I just wanted it to be over, there was no point at all, emotionless, numb and tuned off to the rest of the world. I felt like I was inside a huge cement statue, screaming to get out - but all others could see around me was cement composure, they couldnt see what I was feeling or how miserable I really was. Life is a struggle for me everyday, I am fighting the battle in my head, trying to be positive, to see something worth while in my day but it is hard, really hard. So many times I want to give up, but I just tell myself to keep going. But lately I have been really struggling. I attend uni and its been really hard at the moment. Im struggling to find the balance, the perfect recipe for good mental health, but ive come to the conclusion that no such recipe exists. We dont live in a perfect world nor a stagnant one. We just have to adapt and evolve with our environments as they change. This is a hard task let alone adding on the burden of depression. I am tired. I know life goes on and these feels are only for a time but this is where I am at now. Please share your experiences or advice

Feeling hopeless

replies: 1

Hi everyone, I've just singed up to this forum as I'm sick of living a lie. I come home from work every afternoon and sleep for hours then I wake up and drink lots of alcohol untill I'm drunk. I have no interests anymore. I have unrealistic thoughts ... View more

Hi everyone, I've just singed up to this forum as I'm sick of living a lie. I come home from work every afternoon and sleep for hours then I wake up and drink lots of alcohol untill I'm drunk. I have no interests anymore. I have unrealistic thoughts that something's bad is going to happen to me. It's affecting my relationship with my husband and mum. I know I'm not right but just don't know what to do'!! Can anybody help me? I feel so stupid for even writing this beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

Am I here for the right reason?

replies: 4

Hi all, it's been a while since I've been on the forum. I feel like I may have messed up, made a mistake and possibly lied to people. I don't have any mental illness, depression or anything like that. I came to the forums after my school life caused ... View more

Hi all, it's been a while since I've been on the forum. I feel like I may have messed up, made a mistake and possibly lied to people. I don't have any mental illness, depression or anything like that. I came to the forums after my school life caused me to have major self-esteem and anxiety issues, it left me feeling very sad and lonely so I just needed a place to let it all out. Which lead me here. I feel like the major problem with me is that I just act to eccentric and weird for people to get a long with so I'm very socially isolated and lonely. I'm sorry if I seemed to exaggerate,

Being me.....Listen in close.

replies: 4

I'm 22,Five years ago i had nothing to worry about, no problems what so ever, none at all. I was pretty happy, content, and motivated if i wanted something i worked hard for it. I was school captain, on the school council, cross country and swimming ... View more

I'm 22,Five years ago i had nothing to worry about, no problems what so ever, none at all. I was pretty happy, content, and motivated if i wanted something i worked hard for it. I was school captain, on the school council, cross country and swimming representative. I used to participate in life, i was able to commit to things and never thought i'd be where i am now.Now i wake up, and everything's on repeat. My job calms my anxiety in its monotony. I feel like using anything just to feel alive. I drink in my room alone, i just want to go back in time.I'm haunted by every bad memory, drug that ive taken, opportunity missed... its horrible. My heads all ways clouded and foggy, there's so much racing through my mind i can't concentrate or ever understand what people say to me. I feel like anything can set me off and it can and it will, i'm toey and touchy at the best of times. This is made worse by me trying to quit smoking, which makes me angry beyond all belief. I self loathe and constantly ask "why have they got it better?" or "what if"? I hate that i'm educated, i hate that i'm clever. I wish i could be dumb and just think of life as 'fun' or an amazing journey. But i can't, i'm too negative and pessimistic which contradicts my funny and witty demeanor. Some people know i'm troubled, others don't.I'm booked in for counselling again, but that's just like going through the motions now. Same thing everytime just a different face, hopefully this ones 'good looking and blonde'. I participate fully in exercises like C.P.T, meditation and thought diaries, but throughout them i'm just thinking "what is this" and why am i doing it". My last Councillor looked at me like i was a degenerate (he's not far wrong) and actually hated seeing him.I spend a lot of time pondering the question "do i like being miserable"? and to be honest i think i do. I mean normal people go to Bali and Contiki, for holidays.I think i'd like to change...i put my mother through hell.The only thing that keeps me going is angry australian hiphop MC^C-Lance13 beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Im trying but not getting anywhere

replies: 2

Hi everyone, Im 15 and i have had depression for a year and a half now. I got better for a while and now ive gotten bad again. It's torture. I nearly lost it altogether last time, and i can feel myself losing it for real. My family knows about it and... View more

Hi everyone, Im 15 and i have had depression for a year and a half now. I got better for a while and now ive gotten bad again. It's torture. I nearly lost it altogether last time, and i can feel myself losing it for real. My family knows about it and i go and see a lady to talk. I also take meds. I dont know what to do. ~Maddison

Selfish/Unselfish

replies: 2

So I was driving to work today and the thought popped into my head. I wouldn't kill myself - or do anything to myself that would hurt my family. My mother has ingrained the idea that self harm is one of the most selfish thing a person can do because ... View more

So I was driving to work today and the thought popped into my head. I wouldn't kill myself - or do anything to myself that would hurt my family. My mother has ingrained the idea that self harm is one of the most selfish thing a person can do because it hurts those around them, and I don't want to hurt my family. Unselfish. But I feel sometimes that everything is just too much. I feel physically heavy and drained from the stress and anxiety and effort I have to go through each day. Sure there might a few days or even a week or two where everything is coming up daisies and it all looks like I'm heading in the right direction. Then crash. Back to the effort, back to crying myself to sleep, back to wishing it didn't hurt as much as it does. I've thought about anti-depressants (my sister took them awhile ago). But how is an anti depressant going to fix me. I don't believe it's an imbalance of hormones causing me to feel the way I do. I have had things in my 21 years of life, both my fault on not that are causing me to feel the way I do. A pill can't change my past. Context: - Sexually abused by father from approx. 3 years old to 10 years old (Spoke up, he served 6 years) - Same father emotionally abused mother throughout their marriage (Divorced when I was 7) - Same father cheated on mother throughout marriage - Boyfriend of four years cheated on me with one of my best friends - Cheated on same boyfriend after with his best friend. Selfish - Boyfriend spent our entire relationship treating me like I was the most unimportant person. Always a last option. I got was verbally and emotionally ripped to shreds until I finally broke it off 4 months ago. - Went through a bad stage month after breaking up. Hooked up with same best friend of now ex-boyfriend. However his best friend is currently seeing the girl ex-boyfriend cheated on me with. Selfish. - All my friends (all have same large group of friends) are now 'not getting involved' - which translated means they are talking to me, most of the time, but will not see me or make plans with me I can't see a psychiatrist or a counsellor because it brings back vivid memories of being questioned by police and the really dark stage after where we were dragged to government funded sessions. I also eat healthy without restricting (if I want a treat I'll have it), I exercise 3 times a week (decent cardio). The way I learnt to cope was via talking w/friends but now they don't want to. So how do I fix me?

Pinned discussions

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

All discussions

Sick of life, but want a better life

replies: 2

I Feel Like a Burden?

replies: 1

In a rut

replies: 2

Alone, confused and Panicking

replies: 5

Depression is a doozy

replies: 3

Feeling hopeless

replies: 1

Am I here for the right reason?

replies: 4

Being me.....Listen in close.

replies: 4

Im trying but not getting anywhere

replies: 2

Selfish/Unselfish

replies: 2

Young people

New to this Forum? Please read this first! replies: 0

Sick of life, but want a better life replies: 2

I Feel Like a Burden? replies: 1

In a rut replies: 2

Alone, confused and Panicking replies: 5

Depression is a doozy replies: 3

Feeling hopeless replies: 1

Am I here for the right reason? replies: 4

Being me.....Listen in close. replies: 4

Im trying but not getting anywhere replies: 2

Selfish/Unselfish replies: 2

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

Sick of life, but want a better life

replies: 2

I Feel Like a Burden?

replies: 1

In a rut

replies: 2

Alone, confused and Panicking

replies: 5

Depression is a doozy

replies: 3

Feeling hopeless

replies: 1

Am I here for the right reason?

replies: 4

Being me.....Listen in close.

replies: 4

Im trying but not getting anywhere

replies: 2

Selfish/Unselfish

replies: 2