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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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Liam007 Am I here for the right reason?
  • replies: 4

Hi all, it's been a while since I've been on the forum. I feel like I may have messed up, made a mistake and possibly lied to people. I don't have any mental illness, depression or anything like that. I came to the forums after my school life caused ... View more

Hi all, it's been a while since I've been on the forum. I feel like I may have messed up, made a mistake and possibly lied to people. I don't have any mental illness, depression or anything like that. I came to the forums after my school life caused me to have major self-esteem and anxiety issues, it left me feeling very sad and lonely so I just needed a place to let it all out. Which lead me here. I feel like the major problem with me is that I just act to eccentric and weird for people to get a long with so I'm very socially isolated and lonely. I'm sorry if I seemed to exaggerate,

hiphopsolves Being me.....Listen in close.
  • replies: 4

I'm 22,Five years ago i had nothing to worry about, no problems what so ever, none at all. I was pretty happy, content, and motivated if i wanted something i worked hard for it. I was school captain, on the school council, cross country and swimming ... View more

I'm 22,Five years ago i had nothing to worry about, no problems what so ever, none at all. I was pretty happy, content, and motivated if i wanted something i worked hard for it. I was school captain, on the school council, cross country and swimming representative. I used to participate in life, i was able to commit to things and never thought i'd be where i am now.Now i wake up, and everything's on repeat. My job calms my anxiety in its monotony. I feel like using anything just to feel alive. I drink in my room alone, i just want to go back in time.I'm haunted by every bad memory, drug that ive taken, opportunity missed... its horrible. My heads all ways clouded and foggy, there's so much racing through my mind i can't concentrate or ever understand what people say to me. I feel like anything can set me off and it can and it will, i'm toey and touchy at the best of times. This is made worse by me trying to quit smoking, which makes me angry beyond all belief. I self loathe and constantly ask "why have they got it better?" or "what if"? I hate that i'm educated, i hate that i'm clever. I wish i could be dumb and just think of life as 'fun' or an amazing journey. But i can't, i'm too negative and pessimistic which contradicts my funny and witty demeanor. Some people know i'm troubled, others don't.I'm booked in for counselling again, but that's just like going through the motions now. Same thing everytime just a different face, hopefully this ones 'good looking and blonde'. I participate fully in exercises like C.P.T, meditation and thought diaries, but throughout them i'm just thinking "what is this" and why am i doing it". My last Councillor looked at me like i was a degenerate (he's not far wrong) and actually hated seeing him.I spend a lot of time pondering the question "do i like being miserable"? and to be honest i think i do. I mean normal people go to Bali and Contiki, for holidays.I think i'd like to change...i put my mother through hell.The only thing that keeps me going is angry australian hiphop MC^C-Lance13 beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

maddison16 Im trying but not getting anywhere
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, Im 15 and i have had depression for a year and a half now. I got better for a while and now ive gotten bad again. It's torture. I nearly lost it altogether last time, and i can feel myself losing it for real. My family knows about it and... View more

Hi everyone, Im 15 and i have had depression for a year and a half now. I got better for a while and now ive gotten bad again. It's torture. I nearly lost it altogether last time, and i can feel myself losing it for real. My family knows about it and i go and see a lady to talk. I also take meds. I dont know what to do. ~Maddison

davwerob93 Selfish/Unselfish
  • replies: 2

So I was driving to work today and the thought popped into my head. I wouldn't kill myself - or do anything to myself that would hurt my family. My mother has ingrained the idea that self harm is one of the most selfish thing a person can do because ... View more

So I was driving to work today and the thought popped into my head. I wouldn't kill myself - or do anything to myself that would hurt my family. My mother has ingrained the idea that self harm is one of the most selfish thing a person can do because it hurts those around them, and I don't want to hurt my family. Unselfish. But I feel sometimes that everything is just too much. I feel physically heavy and drained from the stress and anxiety and effort I have to go through each day. Sure there might a few days or even a week or two where everything is coming up daisies and it all looks like I'm heading in the right direction. Then crash. Back to the effort, back to crying myself to sleep, back to wishing it didn't hurt as much as it does. I've thought about anti-depressants (my sister took them awhile ago). But how is an anti depressant going to fix me. I don't believe it's an imbalance of hormones causing me to feel the way I do. I have had things in my 21 years of life, both my fault on not that are causing me to feel the way I do. A pill can't change my past. Context: - Sexually abused by father from approx. 3 years old to 10 years old (Spoke up, he served 6 years) - Same father emotionally abused mother throughout their marriage (Divorced when I was 7) - Same father cheated on mother throughout marriage - Boyfriend of four years cheated on me with one of my best friends - Cheated on same boyfriend after with his best friend. Selfish - Boyfriend spent our entire relationship treating me like I was the most unimportant person. Always a last option. I got was verbally and emotionally ripped to shreds until I finally broke it off 4 months ago. - Went through a bad stage month after breaking up. Hooked up with same best friend of now ex-boyfriend. However his best friend is currently seeing the girl ex-boyfriend cheated on me with. Selfish. - All my friends (all have same large group of friends) are now 'not getting involved' - which translated means they are talking to me, most of the time, but will not see me or make plans with me I can't see a psychiatrist or a counsellor because it brings back vivid memories of being questioned by police and the really dark stage after where we were dragged to government funded sessions. I also eat healthy without restricting (if I want a treat I'll have it), I exercise 3 times a week (decent cardio). The way I learnt to cope was via talking w/friends but now they don't want to. So how do I fix me?

El_ Need to share
  • replies: 3

Hi, I am very new to this and just wanted to find a place to share my thoughts and emotions without feeling judged. I have suffered from anxiety for a few years but for over a year now, I have felt very down and emotional. Sometimes I am I sad for no... View more

Hi, I am very new to this and just wanted to find a place to share my thoughts and emotions without feeling judged. I have suffered from anxiety for a few years but for over a year now, I have felt very down and emotional. Sometimes I am I sad for no reason and find it difficult to get out of bed or to motivate myself. I used to be an energetic, vibrant girl and loved keeping fit and active but for a couple of years I have slowly seen myself withdraw and lose my love for those activities. I have always felt as though I have drawn the short end of the straw - meaning my life seems to hit more bumps and road blocks than others. To summarize things, I recently had a job where I was being bullied and harassed. It took me to breaking point where I shamefully had to call in 'sick' for one week because I was too scared to go to work. I ended up resigning the week I returned from being 'sick' but after nearly a year, I still feel anxious and unworthy and have nightmares from working there. Last year my Nanna also passed away on the eve of my 21st birthday. It was such a difficult time and I feel as though I am still struggling from that. I feel so weighed down and confused about why I feel so down, when I have what others would call a "comfortable life". I watched my Dad suffer from depression during my teenage years and know that feeling like this is nothing to be ashamed of. My Dad's struggle has really encouraged me to open up and seek help. I recently opened up to my boyfriend about how I am feeling and am not sure he really understands. I think he thinks I choose to feel this way but I can't really explain to him that it's not a choice, that I wake up feeling depressed and can't switch it off. I don't know what to expect from sharing this but I guess I am hoping for some guidance. It's terrifying to think I have let my guard down and others will now know my story!

hairyca Step 1
  • replies: 4

I've finally admitted to myself that it's time to seek proper help. I was always too proud to do so, and thought that I could get better on my own. There may have also been some denial and underestimation over the years, but it has come to the point ... View more

I've finally admitted to myself that it's time to seek proper help. I was always too proud to do so, and thought that I could get better on my own. There may have also been some denial and underestimation over the years, but it has come to the point where I have realised how much it is affecting me; with uni, socially, at home, and my well-being. If I can please get some suggestions as to where to get started, that would be muchly appreciated. I haven't told my family about it, and don't plan to do so (as I don't want to worry them, or give them any idea that it was their 'fault', because it's not). I've spoken to a good friend about it, who agrees that it will be best to see someone. I feel like I've been on 'auto pilot' for a couple of years now, and I'm getting tired/sick of it. Also, if anyone wouldn't mind having a chat, I'm all ears. Thanks! P.S. I hope I posted this on the right forum! (First timer, eep)

GreenLime Not sure what to do about my future, and feeling pretty worthless.
  • replies: 7

I didn't, unlike literally everyone else in my year level, have such a clear cut idea of what I wanted to do with my life in Year 12 back in 2013.In 2014, I literally did nothing, apart from work every night vacuuming and occasionally mopping at a Pr... View more

I didn't, unlike literally everyone else in my year level, have such a clear cut idea of what I wanted to do with my life in Year 12 back in 2013.In 2014, I literally did nothing, apart from work every night vacuuming and occasionally mopping at a Primary School. For that year, I was content. But then 2015 happened and I realised that I need to do something. I love to draw, that is a huge passion of mine, creating things, art in general. Back in Year 12, I was hoping that I could find something to do that would work with my artistic abilities. Only recently have I really considered taking up a job as an illustrator or animator, and the prospect of suddenly having a clear goal was exciting! Except for one thing: I never bothered to contact my school about collecting my old Folios for Art and Vis-Com or any of my finished products.I emailed the school recently and got a response saying that they do not have it anymore, it's all been "cleared out". And at that moment, I seriously wanted to cry. All of my work gone with just a snap of the fingers. Gone. And it's all my fault too, because I didn't contact them for a whole year! So it's to be expected that they would dispose of it! But I can't help but feel so depressed and down about it. Knowing the hours I put in to my work, and knowing that these folios are a pivotal part of tertiary education, and now they're gone. One of my tickets to the future lost forever because I was too stupid to ever consider contacting the school earlier.I am not overly confident in my artistic abilities either, I have a really terrible negative attitude. So I don't think it's possible for me at all to create a new mini folio of drawings and things I've created in my leisure as a back-up. There's no way a University is going to approve of stupid cartoon/anime characters I draw. No way in hell.I don't want to be stuck as a school cleaner for all my life! If I can draw, I want to use it! I have so many huge aspirations and dreams, I just get so hopeful and then come crashing down because reality is so cruel to me. And I turn 20 next month. I won't be in my teens anymore. I'll be one pathetic adult, stuck cleaning schools because he's not any good for anything else. Because he was such an idiot to allow his former school to get rid of all his hard work.Now I'm just sitting, sulking and moping and I don't know what to do. I should just give up. Having an artistic ability is one of the worst things to have happened to me. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Shazza25 my anxiety is out of control.. HELP!!
  • replies: 2

Hey, this is the first time I've used beyond blue forums so i don't know if I am doing this right. I have had anxiety now for 7 months and it is seriously ruining my life. It's gotten so bad that my mother has now banned me from driving myself anywhe... View more

Hey, this is the first time I've used beyond blue forums so i don't know if I am doing this right. I have had anxiety now for 7 months and it is seriously ruining my life. It's gotten so bad that my mother has now banned me from driving myself anywhere incase I freak out( again) and get into a car accident. I have been such a strong and independent person and suddenly I am not. I don't know what to do. I have serious travel anxiety and am moving house in 3 days!!! I am so scared, the feeling is unbearable. My parents are trying so hard to e supportive but I can see I am just draining what is left of thier positivity out of them. Please help me! I feel like I'm at the end of the line and can go no further.

Guestnumber lazy or depressed
  • replies: 3

Every time I need to do something; anything; I feel down, if I am going to sleep i feel relieved. any effortful activity I avoid. Everything is a burden. Only sleeping makes me feel good. Has always been this way. A drive to avoid.

Every time I need to do something; anything; I feel down, if I am going to sleep i feel relieved. any effortful activity I avoid. Everything is a burden. Only sleeping makes me feel good. Has always been this way. A drive to avoid.

Xeroxpie I wanna have best friend. Feel lonely
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone I have problem with myself. I really wanna change everything, I am struggling several years to make friends. In some situations , I feel worthless and lack of confidence. I get anxiety when I am with my friends in our group that makes me ... View more

Hi everyone I have problem with myself. I really wanna change everything, I am struggling several years to make friends. In some situations , I feel worthless and lack of confidence. I get anxiety when I am with my friends in our group that makes me become quiet. I afraid to say something or give my opinions. It's difficult to express myself. I wanna be free from anxiety. Now, I have several friends but I am afraid to be my own self. I am afraid to be closer with them. I am afraid that they will not accept me as who I am. All these years I live in fears about what others will say about me. Every time I try to be my true self all those negative thoughts appears. I don'trust people easily. I only can be my true self with my family. I feel lonely even if now I have several friends from my foundation (pre-uni ), church, and house mates. I wanna have best friend who can accept me and encourage me to be better. I have 4 close friends but I am still afraid of myself. I don't want to get hurt again . I don't know can I trust them to be my best friend. Please give me some advices

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