feeling disconnected

[cherrycola]

I just need to write this down somewhere.

I feel very disassociated from the world. I feel I have no true purpose. Lately I have been doing a lot of reading and research into consciousness and enlightenment, and while giving me a lot of new insights and thoughts, it has made me feel quite apathetic towards the conditioned life I have come to know. I am only 22 years old and I am already sick of getting up every day to go to work, just so I can pay to survive in a world that seems to only be going downhill. I feel I have no deeper purpose and this is really starting to get me down.

I love my family and my friends, don't get me wrong. But I hate that I am here on this Earth struggling simply to survive. And I know everyone probably feels like this. But we shouldn't be feeling like this. Life is a miraculous thing. And here we are, stuck working jobs most of us hate, struggling just to survive most of the time. And

nothing seems to be getting better. And to be honest, I think the only reason I'm still in this world is the fear that if I was to end my life, I would just come back and have to do the same damn thing. I don't know how to get out of this mindset. I know the world doesn't owe me a favour, and that everyone struggles at times, but I just feel like that isn't how we are supposed to be doing this life thing.

I feel like this message doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of my thoughts on this topic. I don't really know how to best articulate the things I am thinking right now. All I know is that I'm

tired of feeling this way. And I'm not sure what to do.
 

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[white knight]

Hi CC, welcome to Beyond Blue forums

Becoming disillusioned with the world is very understanding. However it is indeed a mindset you can change. To do this you must be determined like a dog with a bone, every topic and every observation should be scrutinised by your mind to turn the topic from negative thoughts to positive realistic thoughts.

You can assist this process by attending motivation lectures usually from people that made good on life through breaking through the hurdles. Once you become a positive thinker you become a success no matter what your future holds and you never turn back. You also identify negative people and feel sorry for them, what you have that they dont.

Other things that can bring a true sense of purpose is-

Finding your own spirituality "home". As a start google "Prem Rawat sunset" or Maharaji youtube videos. It isnt religious and these wonders of purpose started giving me purpose 27 years ago and I still watch them.

Seek your hobby as your career and you'll never work again. If you havent got a hobby find one. Hobbies divert your mind to a focus.

Switch off the news and limit social media. Your mind needs feeding but not of the undesirable foods.

Accept that the paths to contentment take short medium and long term to achieve depending on the goal. And some things in life will blow your mind- like the birth of your child or the saving of a life maybe through using first aid.

As someone said to me once "Tony, until you have watched a flower bloom from beginning to the end....you havent lived"....

I did and I am.

[BenD]

Hi cherrycola,

I'm 22 as well and have been dealing with issues that sound somewhat similar to yours. So much so that I've done most of a degree in philosophy just to try make sense of things.

"I know the world doesn't owe me a favour". Your concern for the world is extremely admirable cherrycola, but right now it's you that are owed your own love and the love of others.

A couple of practical things to (hopefully) make you feel better (about yourself, and everything else):

• Go see a psychologist or speak to one here on beyondblue and visit your GP. They really do help.
• Look after yourself before you look after others. It's obvious and endearing that you have concern for the state of the world. But nothing can be done for the world if you do not help yourself first. Help being in every sense of the word (physical, mental, social, emotional, spiritual). 
• Keep a journal. Getting things out of your head and on to paper is a great way to clear your mind.
• Surround yourself with good people. It will help you to thrive. And finally...
• Following white knights other excellent spirituality stuff, look up Alan Watts on youtube. He's the dude that first helped me answer some of the questions you are looking for (and kickstarted my philosophy degree). I've attached a short clip as a starter.

Best,

Ben

[gmc]

HI cherrycola and welcome to BB,

I couldn't agree more to what the others wrote before me.

I know what you're feeling because I've been there too and I am still not away from it. I still get up to go to work and not being productive almost at all. Tasks come and come and I get bussier and I feel suffocated. But I do CBT and I have my medication and I am struggling to get better, even if I know it's a long while. PLease have a hope that you'll get better because writing here has been the first step.

have faith 🙂