Depression in relationships

[XXXX_fella]

Hi there, me and my girlfriend have been together for almost 8 months now. Everything started off so good and we got along so well, but now we have just been constantly fighting.

I have been trying so hard to help her get through everything and try to take problems off her shoulder. But no matter what I do it seems like it is never enough. It seems like she just starts problems over the most minor things and just drags it out. She does not get along with the girls or boys in my friend group so I can barely ever go out and see them. She doesn't have a group of girl friends so if I'm not there she just sits around and does nothing and makes me feel so bad whoever I want to see them.

I don't know what else to do because it is really starting to take it's toll on me, I'm starting to feel like I'm not good enough and can't even help her. And whenever I do go out of my way to do something for her she is so ungrateful, I love her so much but it's really starting to make me feel just as bad.

She treats me like a kid, I'm not allowed to talk to any girls at all, even my friends, but whenever she talks to boys she says it different and I make her feel insecure. She says if I really love her that I will help her get through this even though she treats me so bad sometimes.

What do I do ?

[white knight]

Hi xxxx, welcome

The honeymoon period, once over, now comes the hard part because you both are now your true selves. She might not have depression, without a diagnosis...it could be anything, moods, personality, incompatibility?.

Being unfriendly to your friends...she might be introverted, she might not like your type of friend. She might not want her own friends. People need to be themselves...not what others think they need. Having expectations of her is only going to fuel her anger imo.

You can contact a counselor or Relationships Australia to help sort out if you have a future the sooner the better as it seems you are on a collision path.

To love someone is to accept them for being who they are. A GP visit could also help to eliminate any possibility of health issues and get some help.

Google- Topic: the frog and the scorpion- beyondblue

Good luck.

Tony WK

[geoff]

hello, what you have to be wary of is that her behaviour doesn't make you become depressed, so perhaps if I can give you an example, and when I say this I'm not demeaning anybody who is suffering from it.
When a new mum takes the baby home she could become PND, and (this is what happened in my situation) that my was behaving exactly the same way because that's what PND does, so eventually I became depressed and was also suffering from PND so this is what you have to be wary of, even love is not strong enough to withstand this from happening.
You may love her sincerely but a r/ship can not survive very long being in a situation like this, unless some form of counseling is done, and the main question is does she love you in person and not the reason that she can control you. Geoff.

[Wheremengo]

Hi XXXX fella's You know all the problems that you are feeling now it's time to address one at a time a wise man taught me "you can only eat an elephant one bite at a time", so look at what most concerns you and work on that. Things will look totally different from this perspective and dont worry I have been married thirty years and i still don't always get it right !. What I can tell you is talking has been the key to us and it should work for you and dont forget there is always couple's counselling if you can't work it out, if the love is both ways you will work out an answer hope I have given something to you that can help even if it's just the line about the elephant.