Could this year get any worse.....?

[Scarlet1234]

Hey all,

I'm Charlotte and this year has been the toughest year of my life. I through growing up would be the best all I could ever want I'm 16 for heavens sakes. Every since I started high school I've been studying Italian and I really enjoyed it so much that in year 8 I went to Italy with my school. And I enjoyed it so much that my parents gave me a once in a life time opportunity to go on exchange, and that I did for 5 months last year. I had a very hard time leaving to go the trip of a life time but it did it I made it on the plane and left my whole life behind to start a new chapter as they say. I had the best but worst time over there because I found out what my breaking point is and I went past it. I still try and convince myself that my parents didn't just waste a lot of money on me having the worst time ever. But I do have to say it had it ups too but they didn't last long unless I just put on a smile to try and hide how nervous I was. I hit rock bottom and I guess I'm just having trouble getting back to the top. I mean I have most things that other don't so why complain that's how I see it but I know deep down I'm drowning.

On the way home I was excited but overwhelmed with what had happened and what I have just done which was amazing because it was a great experience. But when I came home with a new start it wasn't all that. It was the start of a new year a fresh year for me at school and everything I thought I could get go back to school with all my friends and everything would be amazing like I never left. But it wasn't at all, friends who were they, could I even trust anyone anymore, they didn't really care and they still don't. I know that I wasn't popular to begin with and that still didn't matter to me but the fact was I felt alone, at school I can stand all by myself in the middle of nowhere and not one of my 'friends' would look at me or walk over to me I was just forgotten. I still don't know where I fit in anymore. It was all fine and I just keeping going and I found some other people who I now call friends but like i'm still the odd one out. Don't even get me started on guys, I can't trust any of the good looking ones just the ones who are my friends but that's all I need I guess.

 This year has been hard there is a lot more I could tell you from the depression and anxiety and how it all leads to 'italy'.

If you could be bothered to read this please help me I could use someone to talk to.

Thanks, Scar.

[Gcgirl]

Hi charlotte . I'm Bree I'm 22 

i don't know if I'll be much help but . 

Ur only 16 and ur so called friends who don't talk to u anymore there not true friends and guys can be very un trustworthy however once they let there guard down they can be as caring as girls. I don't exactly know what happened in Italy except u didn't enjoy it much I will just say every single person thinks and dreams of a major life chance or dream maybe ur expectations were so high for Italy it wasn't as you pictured it in ur head 

but anyway girl some crap is just apart of life and we all have to be strong hope your okay and maybe next year will be your best year 

[Narniakid]

Hi Scarlett1234, welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing with us.

I am sorry to hear you aren't coping too well since your return from Italy. Going on exchange is a nervous thing for anyone, and I applaud you for being brave enough to do it and get through 5 whole months - that's a long time, you should be proud of yourself!

It seems as though your previous friends struggled to keep in touch with you while you were away, and that friendship has drifted apart. That's something that will happen all throughout your schooling, and particularly when you finish school. If they couldn't be bothered to stick around while you were on exchange, then I don't think they were worth holding on to anyway. Friendship is a two way street; never waste your time on one way friendships. 

With your new group of friends, have you tried organising a get together or a group outing? Taking charge like that can really get you noticed and they will respect you for it. 

Perhaps talk to your school councellor, and consider visiting you GP for a professional diagnosis and a referral to a psychologist who will be able help you more with your problems.

Crystal