Bullied and betrayed

[tofu_puppy]

I made my first ever highschool friend on orientation. We hit off, she's amazing. Lets call her K. K and i were close and our group grew a lot from 2 people to 16. She is funny, kinda dark but your stereotypical teenager. She fit in the crazy side of the group and lunchtimes were so funny. I ignored many things that she did, subtly fatshame us even though she's also overweight herself. Openly racist to the point i followed suit. Which i deeply regret now looking back. She started to fatshame my friend, telling her to commit suicide and get weight loss medication. Photoshopping her onto a fat mans body with blood and knives and needles everywhere. I was scared but i loved the few friends i had left so i took them under my wing, standing up for ourselves and telling the teacher with all the evidence i could rack up, screenshots, chats, timestamps. This was over the course of weeks and weeks of hard work and meetings and late nights. In the end, we won, they got their punishment and i felt so accomplished. The "friends" i kept under my wing? they betrayed me. all 6 of them. saying the punishment was too harsh, doubting their futures and being concerned that it would impact their future jobs like "what if they wanted to be doctors and a suspension or expulsion won't let them" keep in mind i have a super close "friend" who was also a victim alongside us which was around the same level of maturity as me and i thought she would back me up. I was wrong. She went along with it. It was the last day we were ever going to spend together at school, i was leaving for holidays and she wasn't going to be here next term because she was moving schools. I couldnt keep going on that day. i put my goodbye present in her bag and begged my mum to pick me up. I did. I only spent half of my last day with her. After coming back from my holiday and spending it fighting with my parents and ignoring all thoughts about school, it came back to me, making me break down and scream and shake and cry uncontrollably. I detached from the friends who were still going my school, the one i was closest with too. Today something happened at my mums work and she's upset. I took that into consideration and unpacked her bags, cleaned her room and went back to comfort her. Im thirteen by the way. I talked to her but she ignored it, asking how my chiropractor session went today. I told her the details but she cold and rude. I broke down 5 times in the last hour because she said, "why are you so sensitive?" Im. DONE..

[indigo22]

Hi tofu_puppy,

I am so sorry to hear what you have been going through, teenagers can be very fickle with friendships and seem to be easily led by others. You definitely did the right thing even though you feel that it backfired on you. All I can say about that is that true friends will stick by you, but I know that doesn't make it any easier for you.

I can relate to much of your post because I experienced difficulties with friendships at your age also (now in my 60s with a lot more experience). I think I can help you with why you feel things so deeply. Please look up on the internet 'HSP Elaine Aron', this is short for Highly Sensitive Person. I am fairly sure you will find you fit the description. This is not a bad thing at all, it is actually a good thing but it does need to be managed which we can talk about further. I and many others on the forums are HSPs, so you are not alone. I used to cry a lot too. The bonus is that you will be able to show your mum why you are so sensitive, it's part of who you are.

Please let me know your thoughts so we can talk more, I will be here to support you.

Thinking of you with care,

indigo

[therising]

Hi tofu_puppy

I'm so glad you've met with indigo here, someone who understands the challenges that can come with being able to sense so much in life. My heart goes out to you in regard to you suffering through your ability to sense.

In imagining sensitivity as a super power, it is one that comes with both a bright/light side and a dark/heavy side. There are 2 sides to the sensitivity coin. While the bright or light side may require little attention, the other side can require an enormous amount of understanding, development and overall mastery. A few examples

• While it may be easy and effortless for us to feel or sense our joy, excitement and peace, how we manage feeling and making greater sense of our sadness, our boredom or distress can be hard work and may require a lot of effort and guidance
• While being able to deeply or easily feel other people's high end emotions can be brilliant and even invigorating, it can require great skill when it comes to feeling and managing their low end emotions such as their anger towards us or their stress or their dismissiveness
• While it may be easy to feel or sense what/who works our nervous system up, how to calm that same system down can require great levels of self mastery

When someone asks us 'Why are you so sensitive?' a fair response can be 'It's in my nature to sense'. The greatest problems can often arise from not knowing exactly how such an ability works. It can occasionally lead to complete overwhelm if not carefully or strategically managed (sometimes with help from others).❤️

[Gobble]

my mum does that to me all the time your not sensitive your just like me unable to grasp the horrible reality of betrayl its hard and you might be scared to try again with friends because your scared of the same thing to repeat its self just take it slow at your own pace those girls werent good for you anyway you will find your clan just breath and take it slow be cautious but still try i hope things get better for you ❤️