Bouncing from one to the other

[DV_Arjay]

Literally everytime i get in a relationship
It lasts for 1-3 months
Its actually getting to me now
I scare each one away apparently
And aint committed enough for their needs
Even before getting into a relationship
Im anxious about it
I know its not going too last
And even during flirting i tell myself
Why even bother
In the last 6 months
Ive been in 4 relationships
1 being with my ex-bestfriend of 9+ years
I feel like everything is my fault and Being in a relationship isnt my thing
ohh and I tend to get girls too cheat on their bfs aswell
Which is always great
They tend too last the longest in relationships... not

[Zeal]

Hey DV Arjay,

I'm sorry to hear about this frustration with relationships. It sounds as though the anxiety and negative emotions you're experiencing are part of the picture. Have you seen a counsellor or mental health professional before? I'm not suggesting you have a mental illness necessarily, but that talking about what's going on emotionally could be beneficial. Counsellors don't diagnose, but rather listen and support while the client explores issues and situations they're facing in their life.

The self-criticism must be emotionally tiring too. I can relate, as I used to be very self-critical. Definitely talk to someone in your life about how you're feeling - it's more than worth it!

It would be great to hear back from you. You can tell me more about yourself if you like 🙂

Best wishes,

Zeal

[romantic_thi3f]

HI DV Arjay,

Thanks for your post.

Relationships are tricky huh? Sounds like you haven't had the best luck with them and I think that in a way it can be good reflecting on them and why they're not working out so well. Why do you say that you scare them away and aren't committed enough for them?

You said in your post that you tend to get girls to cheat on you - but unless you're providing a spare bed and saying go ahead - none of that is your fault or to blame. I've heard a lot that we can attract the same people; so maybe the fact that you're so down on yourself means you attract people who can't be loyal to you? Just a hunch of course. Nobody deserves to be cheated on. Maybe it's not such a bad thing having a break from flirting. Its hard to be in relationships and 'bounce back' when you've been hurt before. Sometimes breaks can be a good thing - and hopefully during this one you can ease up on the self criticism and find the things about you that makes you great to date.