Anxiety about volunteering at camp for disabled kids, now I dont know if I want to go, help?

[My-life-is-a-constant-Mess]

Hi guys

So Im in yr 12 I have achieved nothing in my whole life so I decided to get more involved in extra curricular's this year (mainly volunteering) and I volunteered for camp so I go with a bunch of other people to the the bottom of a mountain for 4 days and help out and engage and interact and look after kids with disabilities (mental and physical) who wouldn't be able to go on a 'normal' camp and do activities, however Im very anxious about it and I keep worrying about not being able to sleep, there being spiders (I have panic attacks and have OCDish tendencies and obsessions about spiders, Im not allowed to take bug spray to camp and I sleep with a can of bug spray so i don't know what ill do) Im worried something will happen to one of the kids and its my fault, Im extremely health anxious (i'm never not health anxious) and im worried ill get sick or something will go wrong and ill die or the ambulance wont make it in time (it will take at least 20 min) or something similar, im also worried about the bus trip because its long and i get travel sick and i'm really scared and don't want to go but I fell bad for backing out. Also the next bit may be TMI - i have issues with my bowels and digestive system so I elevate my legs on a stool when I do a bowel movement but I cant take a stool with me so Im worried about that. I also have so much homework and so many assignments to do that i'll probably die and Im worried I wont get them done if I go on camp.

I wanted to go it seemed like a good idea but now i'm really unsure, if I go im worried and stressed the whole time, but if I dont i feel like im disappointing everyone and that i'll regret not going. I have 2 days to decide, what do I do?

[Zeal]

Hey,

I remember you from last time you posted 🙂

I'm sorry to hear that you feel distressed and confused right now about this upcoming volunteering camp. I think it's brave that you signed up despite your health anxiety, fear of spiders and panic attacks. I can somewhat relate to how you feel in this situation, because something slightly similar happened to me when I was in Year 10. My Dad and I and a few friends signed up to travel to Nepal for about 10 days with my school. It was a cultural trip where a little volunteering was involved, and students, parents, teachers and old scholars could sign up. As the trip got closer, I got really anxious and apprehensive and regretted deciding to go. My OCD was an issue, and my Mum ended up bailing me out by ringing the school and explaining my mental health situation. We got most of the fees back, after my doctor wrote an explanatory letter. Whether this was the right decision or not, I'll never really know.

The fact that your trip is only four days in duration is great, as longer trips could be more emotionally and physically challenging. How long will it take on the bus to get to the camp location? If you do go, taking non-medicated ginger tablets or travel-sickness medication (this needs to be on advice from your doctor) could help. Sitting up the front of the bus and having a teacher/friendly adult to talk to or ask for help would be great. Are you comfortable talking to one of the teachers going? It's important (if you haven't already) that you let at least one of the teachers/staff know now about your mental health situation.

It would be great to hear back from you 🙂

Best wishes,

Zeal

[geoff]

hello, I think you are doing such an excellent job, voluntary or not, because these kids would be unable to experience any of this again, and just like you and Zeal I also have OCD and understand your worries.
Insect spray is the best but you're not allowed to take it, I don't know why, but never the less there are a few other ways to deter them:
-take garlic tablets or even chew on it if you can, or rub garlic over your skin, just as long as your tent mate doesn't mind
-don't use any sweet scented underarm
-don't camp near a pond area
-research what spiders actually hate, such as basil, cloves, peppermint leaves, crushed chestnuts, garlic powder, and perhaps set up your own jar of determent covered with some flywire and secured by a rubber band, so in the jar put all of these ingredients, and have a couple hanging around your tent, again hope your tent mate doesn't mind, but then they could be scared of them as well.
These kids will be supervised by adults and if anything does happen then they will address the situation, they are responsible, not you.
I would talk to the people who are organising this camp and tell them that you suffer from OCD and need to take a couple of things with you, or perhaps find a spot in the bush where no one can see you but you can raise your feet for bowel movements.
Even if they allow you to take insect repellent, I would still make your own DIY. Geoff.