Anybody else? thoughts on therapy/diagnoses and candor

[Ceras]

Hi! Can anyone share thoughts on therapy/diagnosis and talking about mental health? I'm new, and I wanted to air some stuff out and see what you guys think about moving forward through things. I'm not diagnosed, and unsure if I could be.

I've never been to therapy - I spoke to a GP, and an online counselor, once. I had a referral for GAD and adjustment disorder; both experiences were temporary and I didn't go to the therapist. What wasn't so short lived was the misery and bleakness that marked my life from 10 yrs to around 13. During this time, my mum, who's had depression since childhood, gave a name to that void; 'depression', but I chose not to see a therapist. I've since had times where things were worse or better and learned a few coping strategies in the past 8 yrs.

There's a rough pattern; during a year when I had great social connections, I felt great compared to the last few, despite hiccups (2015, anybody? best year ever). During times of adjustment, more work, or having less to distract myself with (holidays) I sink back into the deep dark emotional void that seems hot on my heels wherever I go (and I better not trip). Other times its a #sadnesssurprise! or it could just be another iron deficiency, who knows.

I don't think there's a way to paint my mental health track record as less than spotty, tho I'm unsure if I could have been diagnosed with a disorder through that whole time, or now. I still have problems, but I do great compared to how I used to - I'm usually ok (tho I'm wary after spending like 2 yrs thinking crushing loneliness, 'dullness'and daily crying was normal before I spoke to my mum). I may not be an optimist or untroubled by certain stressors, and I recently feel I'm playing catch up with life, but I do ok.

The point is I've worked hard to learn that it's ok that I'm not, and that struggling with stuff isn't strange or unacceptable. I'm comfortable with my discomfort, but it seems no one else is. I don't want to bare my soul to every stranger, but I'm sick of never mentioning it, biting my tongue and being vague. If I were to see a therapist, and im considering, achieving clarity would be as important as coping, partly because I'd like the freedom to be candid and not have people think I'm weird or burdensome, or a sook. Why should mental health bereserved only for D&Ms when I can discuss, say, asthma attacks and management without discomfort or awkwardness?

Any advice on therapy (as I'm considering) or candor is appreciated.

[geoff]

Hello Ceras, and a warm welcome.

I think you've said the words that indicate there is a problem in how you are feeling and it's ' deep dark emotional void' that's what worries me as well as 'loneliness, 'dullness and daily crying was normal',
so doing OK doesn't happen.

You can't keep pushing all of this away, because it won't vanish, and every time it happens any negative thoughts will build up and make you worse off.

No one suffering from this is a sook, I wouldn't like to be called that, I wanted people to stand up and recognise that I do have a problem, whether this is from years ago doesn't matter, if you are finding your way very difficult then please book an appointment with a counsellor/psychologist.

Mental illness doesn't go away but it can be controlled with medication as well as therapy.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Ell43]

Hey Ceras,
Wow, you are so articulate and have such a way with words! Thanks for posting in here, you raise such great points about the unfortunate stigma that still exists in our society around mental ill health. I’m glad you have accessed this space where all these topics are open for discussion and free of judgement!!

I guess I am coming from a position of slight bias, as I am currently a provisional psychologist completing my master’s degree. I am a big advocate for therapy and I’m so glad you are considering it.
My advice would firstly be to not get too hung up on diagnoses or lack thereof. You don’t have to have a diagnosed mental illness or disorder to access psychological services. In fact you can be diagnosed with something completely irrelevant, but if the treatment you receive has a positive impact on your life, does it matter what the original diagnosis was?

It sounds like you have already developed a lot of your own personal coping strategies, which is amazing, and good psychologist will help you explore these and elaborate on them to increase their effectiveness. I think my other piece of advise when seeking professional help is to be really open and honest with the therapist and make sure they are the right match for you. It’s your therapy, so you can set the goals and have the right to say which type of approach you want to use to achieve better mental health (that actually makes the therapists job easier).

Have a look on the APS website, there is a section called “find a psychologist”. You can input information about your location and the types of difficulties you are facing and then on the left-hand side of the page there are options to refine the search.
One of the options is to preference the therapeutic approach the therapist uses. Maybe have a look at some of the more commonly used methods listed there; ACT, CBT, Mindfulness, Solution Focused Therapy ect, and do some research about what they involve (Happy to give some descriptions if you like). If you find one (or a few) of the therapeutic approaches really resinates with you, tell your therapist that and they may be able to tailor therapy for your better.

I'm so glad to read you feel you are doing a lot better than you have in the past! I guess the best thing to keep in mind is there is ALWAYS room for improvement when it comes to our mental health and you should NEVER have to feel like you can't talk to someone about not being ok!

Thanks again for posting!
Ell 😃