Hi who ever is reading this. I’m fourteen.
Last year I went to England to visit family. (I’m not rich) Going made me really sad. I really miss being there and I miss my family. I would kill to be able to do super small things like go to certain coffee shops with my auntie or go to their house for dinner, or be able to wear a jumper during Christmas or see my family on my birthday but instead I’m stuck here and I probably won’t see them for at least another four years I don’t want them to miss seeing me grow up which sounds kind of stupid. I want t be able to share things with them like that new hair cut or a piercing or an achievement. I feel like we r both going to miss so much and there are so many relationships I could be having. I wish I could move permantly but my dad doesn’t want to, my mum does so it’s not going to happen. It’s not like I’d have anything to actually miss if we moved though. For a start, I hate Australia I don’t want to offend anyone but I don’t like the weather or the culture I don’t even like the beach. My family here sucks. They never remeber my brother and I’s Birthdays and favour our cousins because they’re babies they’re not good at being family and I can’t be myself around them. At school I don’t have any real friends. I sit with people at lunch but I’m never invited to birthday parties, this one girl is always putting me down and I don’t fit in, I’m always someone’s fourth or fifth choice. I feel like I’m a loser. No one follows me back on instagram, likes my photos or wants to talk or text me. I won’t have a boyfriend until I’m 20, they NEVER talk ir text me, I don’t have any guy friends. I know it’s not going to change either I know the groups of people at my school and there’s no where I can go I’m just stuck here, I don’t want to change schools, there’s ano point they’re all the same. I don’t have anything to look forward too until I can maybe leave for England. I think I’m getting a school laptop for Christmas, I obviously don’t have any parties coming up amy mum won’t let me have any piercings, to be honest I just need small things like that to get me through, although I wish I could get it with family members from England and sharing that experience. Just hearing accents and remembering things like eating dinner or smells makes me want to cry. I’m sick of always feeling like this. I wanted to do an exchange there for 3 months but of course I can’t afford it I don’t know how to make it through th next four/ five years.
