Wow first timer

[Guest_093]

My first post which has taken me a long long time to write here. Different things have happened like forgetting my password so many times, getting involved in my not staying in my present mind. Having depression, anxiety, trying to deal with life, work and homelife and being this negative person for so long as far back as I remember. And now wanting to feel better and being impatient that it is not happening and at times feeling that I am doing nothing to make it happen, being so caught up with what is going and listening to what is in my head and not being strong enough to control it instead it is controlling me. Reading about strategies to use or sites to look at and forgetting to do it, or look at it a couple of times and then forgetting about it, I cannot seem to relax and unwind, I am allways doing stuff and racing around doing it and I absolutely and totally love coffee, I try to limit myself to 3 cups a day and have to really push myself to sit there and enjoy it and sip it slowly, my husband and housemate say I am very angry woman and will lash out and say something when they think there is really nothing to lash out about, in other words I think and say the worst. I am seeing a therapist and have 1 tomorrow the 1st one in a month. I am trying not to ramble on so much being my first post it seems I am just letting the words flow and trying to control my physical mannerisms and nerves I want very much to stay in control and be a better/happier person than I was yesterday,

[Guest_093]

hey Geoff I did not realise that you had posted a reply on my 1st post here, my bad- & yes I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, depression I have had suffered for a very long time the anxiety diagnosis is something relatively new to me so I have my good days and my bad days so what more can I say? I do spend a lot of time out of touch with reality which is very hard for me to control, so if anyone has any strategies I could use, I would be grateful. Cathy

[Croix]

Dear cAthy~

Anxiety for me can lead to me thinking things are not as they really are, and maybe that is what you mean by "out of touch with reality". I'll imaging the outcome of something is going to be much worse than it really is for example, or that someone is saying something aimed at me when it is nothing of the sort.

It's hard to get perspective and discount these thoughts. Experience helps, when I remember previous similar events and how they ended up, as opposed to how I thought they would at the time. I find talking with my partner is the best thing. She is used to the way my mind works and can usually point out what realy is likely.

So is there someone who can do the same for you? I know you said your husband and housemate felt you were lashing out, can you turn it into a more productive time? If they tend to think you are over-reacting to some small matter can they be persuaded to discuss it with you an a friendly manner?

Croix

[Croix]

P.S.
Sorry for the typo in your name. I normally make many in a single post and don't always pick all of them up until too late 😞
-C

[blondguy]

Hi Cathy!

I just found the other thread topic you posted......and its also a great thread topic too 🙂 I have the copy & paste link below for you

www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/feeling-mentally-physically-unwell

Since this is your original thread topic...Is it okay if we stick with 'Wow First Timer'? There is heaps of caring members that have posted here for you

Happy belated Australia Day Cathy 🙂

my kind thoughts

Paul

[geoff]

Hi Cathy, thanks for getting back to us and for your recognition of me.

Anxiety disorders can affect your ability to do so many things in life, and everyone is different in what makes them anxious, and how they respond to treatment, I don't think they can be the same, maybe in general, but not specifically.

Can I give you a link that may help you, just copy and paste it and place it in your search bar,

-https://thiswayup.org.au/how-do-you-feel/worried/

I hope this maybe of some interest to you, but please take your time and read it a bit at a time.

Best Wishes.

Geoff.

[Guest_093]

hi Croix yes I do not really understand what is happening or most of the time when it does happen, when hubby notices that it is happening to me, he will put his hand on my shoulder, most of the time that brings me out of it or gently says hello to me from across the room that generally works too, but Croix he cannot be with me 24/7 although he would love to be, this ootwr happens at work too and it is bloody hard to control whilst there the other staff can see that there is something 'wrong' with me but do not know what to do about it, I have yet to tell them that I have a mental illness for the reason being of having them not understanding I suppose it is especially harder to control when I am in the coldroom by myself am getting there!!! The way I could explain it is I seem to drift off into another world so to speak where I hear or respond to no-one else, does that make sense to you. Enough of my dribble for now?? Cheers Cathy

[Croix]

Dear Spitfire !1~

You are not dribbling, far from it, you are discussing the problems life has handed you, which is as it should be.

I understand what you mean by drifting off, and if it is like me the world you go to is consumed with unpleasant thoughts., and it does leave one isolated from your surround and the people in it. It was a failing of mine to be quite annoyed or resentful when brought out of it even though it was not a nice place to be. Not logical I know.

Is there anything in particular about the coldroom that would be a bother? I've expereiced some where exit is not straightforward.

Actually telling those at work is a bit of a mixed bag. It does have the benefit that others may understand and actually try to help, however it is very hard to predict everyone's reactions. Is there one particular person you have confidence in? That might be a possibility.

I think you are doing an excellent thing by holding down that job under the circumstances. It may be hard, but if you look at what you endure it is a series of victories.

Have you considered a photo of your husband on your phone or in your bag? It may help you remember his presence when you need it. Those breathing techniques sound useful too.

Croix

[geoff]

Hi Cathy, it's always difficult to know if or should you tell the other staff members about what you are struggling with, simply for one good reason, they interrupt you with their own story or repeat what was just said, 'oh I know how you feel, I've had the
same thing happens to me,' and then start to turn the conversation around to them.

This is when they miss what you have just said and don't understand your message and drift off and start listening to themselves rather to what you are saying.

There will always be someone who says they have had it worse than you.

What they need to do is appreciate what you are saying, because to you, this is very important, it starts to open up your private life.

If you are worried and go into the coolroom your cold hands and face make you much more anxious, especially as it's a very small confined space.

Take care Cathy.

Geoff.

[Guest_093]

hi everyone yes Geoff I think you nailed it with speaking to others about my mental illness @ work, that they do not understand that I am opening myself up about a private part of who I am and how important it is to me to do that to able to trust that person in doing that, but unfortunately I feel that if my story been told to that 1 trustful soul that I have put my faith into in the first place,will spread that confidential word and soon word will get around the shop like wildfire to what has been said to the first person, I do have trust issues with the ppl @ work & have been hurt in the past with idle gossip in the workplace, the thing is I seem to be missing out on life when my head goes haywire as it does I do withdraw within myself so make no effort to get out of it. As being mentioned before to me I think I need to be persistent, patient and not so hard on myself, these qualities I have not learnt as of yet! I had another leg fallout earlier this morning not as bad as the other morning where I face planted the floor, this time the legs were really wobbly and felt unstable on my feet but managed to not face plant from bathroom to bedroom AAANNNNDDDD I did take a 1/2 tablet last night before going to bed so I think's again this is my issue, this med I am taking, am going to see dr. and ask for a referral to councillor and chat about above happening problem. I feel very vague, sleepy and foggy headed today, do not know if from med or just having a plain old bad day, had a unsettled night sleep, kicked hubby in legs a couple of times no hurty to him so something is amiss still! I will have early night for sleep and yes I did have a funny photo on my old phone of hubby to look @ but cannot seem to transfer same photo from computer to new phone, that is another time for me to worry about, not now. Thanks for listening everyone you are all awesome!!! Cheers Spitfire1

[geoff]

Hey Spitfire, good to hear back from you.

Rumours do spread like wildfire like if you say to someone you had this awful dream about such and such, by the time it goes around about 20 people, goodness knows what the dream was about, and it can still start even with your number 1 friend, it's blown way out of proportion.

Try not to be too hard on yourself, remember it's still delicate days and try not to compare yourself to others and don't underrate your talent, stay positive and take good care of yourself.

Geoff.