New to the forum but 50 years plus of anxiety and depression experiance

[Willbee]

Hi all, I've finally plucked up the courage to talk. Suffered from depression for a long time now tried all sorts of meds counselling etc. Finally after many years solved a lot of my issues, basically coming to terms that I was causing a lot of my own issues. Once I acknowledged that I was able to move on.

However lately I have sold my house and was going to move to Tasmania. I went over to look at property's but got off the aeroplane and suffered extreme anxiety to the point of being ill. I returned and rushed the purchase of a property in Vic and now I've been hit by regrets don't seem to be able to move on, not much sleep and constant worry about what ifs. Gp has put me on meds and given a referral to a physiologist but I am still waiting for a call back Several days latter, I am my wife's worst nightmare at the moment. Anyway I hope some ramblings will help

[Andrew33]

Hey Mark,

Welcome to the forum and congratulations on having the courage to speak up. I had that issue to so I know it may be difficult.

I don’t think rushing a purchase of your property in VIC will be too bad. At the end of the day you could sell it when you feel you are ready to move again.

in relation to being your wife’s nightmare. I’m sure she understands your struggles and remember to stay open with her as she may not be familiar with how you are feeling.

Im glad you have been courageous and remained fighting, it shows how strong of a person you are 🙂

[Doolhof]

Hi Willbee,

I too welcome you to the community here. Hopefully you hear from the physiologist soon. In the mean time, you can certainly share how you are feeling here.

I have also found it very helpful to chat with the support people on the Beyond Blue help line 1300 22 4636. They are good listeners and can offer some advice and suggestions.

It may help to make a list with the pros and cons of your actions. Be as creative as you can be and maybe have a laugh at some of the ideas you come up with.

My husband has organised to sell one house we lived in, then bought a block of land before telling me about it, saying we were going to have a house built while we rented and then decided we had to move again and bought a house in a very small town in the middle of no where.

I was not impressed but have learnt to adapt to the new surroundings and have tried to make the most of it. When I fought these decisions I was miserable!

Hopefully you can make peace with your decisions and find a way to move forward.

All the best from Dools

[blondguy]

Hi Willbee

It does take inner strength to post on the forums Willbee....yet..Good on You for making the effort!

Andrew33 and Doolhof have provided great support above....I understand what you are going through as I used to have chronic anxiety...followed by diagnosed depression...all up 36 years...ugh! You are seriously strong for having dealt with these awful symptoms for so long

You are a very intelligent person....the 'what if's' are a part of the overthinking state of mind....I am in my 50's and have been working hard on the overthinking since about 1980.....Slowly getting there!...day by day

Can I ask if your anxiety/panic attacks have been as severe in the past compared with the bad attack you had getting off the plane? (just asking so we can support you more effectively if thats okay)

you are not alone Willbee

Im Paul and its great to meet you...I really hope you can post back when its convenient for you

my kind thoughts and welcome

[Willbee]

Thanks Blondguy and others, I thinks my problems lie in the fact that I have been retrenched In my 50's rehired five years latter by the same firm (we let too many go) and then terminated when my 5 year contract expired despite being assured of full time work prior. I was hired by a private company all be it $20,000 a year less and then there work dried up after 18 months I went for several job interviews "you're the guy we need" etc etc only to be advised that due to downturns in the comms industry they were changing direction. I basically have become a recluse, several injury's and heart op have left me socially isolated and on a dsp. I believe I have hidden away. Despite my anguish I think I've become to scared to leave my comfort zone. Now the realization of selling where I've lived for 20 + years and the idea of moving and starting anew in Tasmania has scarred the crap out of me and I feel resulted in me having a knee jerk reaction in purchasing a new (to me) home that in hindsite I should have researched more. As for the physiologist I am still waiting for an appointment.

In reply to panic/anxiety attacks I've always been inclined to panic initially, but have been able to rationalize the situation and generally proceed. This is the first time I've been really struggling with my decisions to the point of physical illness, Once again thanks.

[Doolhof]

Hi Willbee,

It sounds like you may have suffered from having your sense of self worth and self esteem battered a bit by the employment situation, the house situation and the dsp.

Can you think of one thing each week that you would like to achieve?

Are there any social outings you would enjoy?

Do you have skills and abilities you may be able to share through a volunteer situation?

Do you have a supportive Dr who can help you through all of this?

Are you moving into the new house soon or are you there already? Can yo try and find positives to the new home so it does not all feel so daunting for you?

Hope you are able to feel a little more calm and settled somehow.

Cheers from Dools