Unsure

[JosieK]

Hi,

I haven’t been to see a doctor and I haven’t ever been diagnosed with anything- I’m not even sure there is anything wrong with me...well that’s a lie, somethings not right but I don’t want to hurt myself or anyone else for that matter. It’s just for a while now i’ve felt what i’ve described as “flat” I just have no energy to care about anything, my partner has tried to talk to me about it saying i’m distant and moody ....I look into his eyes and see his hurt but I just don’t have the energy to care....I’m laying there thinking, i’m tired, just be quiet so I can sleep! How horrible is that?! What kind of a person just doesn’t care?!

He says i’ve changed and I know I have, things I used to enjoy are just a chore now, I get no enjoyment from seeing my nieces anymore, they just irritate me and that’s not like me. I just don’t really know what’s happened. Anyway he asked do I think I could be depressed. I said I didn’t know. So I looked it up and did some tests and apparently I could very well be. I don’t understand though because I haven’t experience anything horrible recently, not ever really.

Just wondering if what I’m saying sounds familiar to anyone or am I just being silly and need to try harder?

Thanks anyway.

JosieK

[alicesunset]

Hi Josie,

I'd like to start with, you are not silly at all. I completely and utterly know how you feel. It's the feeling of not being motivated and how everything is just dull - well in my case anyway. I must say, there was a time in my life where I felt this for a while, just feeling emotionless, I guess. Or maybe more negative emotions at times. I'm quite sure it is a feeling many people feel, so I don't think you should feel like you're isolated and the only one who experiences these things.

My best advice? See someone. Talk to someone about it. I know, going to a psychologist is very scary or intimidating, but it was the best thing I had done. Speaking to a professional really is helpful and not as scary as I thought. Remember, speaking to someone doesn't mean that you are different and there is something horribly wrong with you. Many people have visited specialists, such as me.

If you can't bring yourself to go to a specialist, expressing yourself on this forum is a very good option. You'll be able to get different advice on this situation from people who have more knowledge in this situation or have experienced something similar.

-Alice

[therising]

Hi JosieK

A big welcome to you as you embark on your quest for answers!

To say 'That's just not like me' is a significant comment. So, no, you're not being silly at all. That 'silly' thought is a thought which is going against your natural instincts. Trust your instincts JosieK! By the way, must say your boyfriend sounds like an absolute keeper. He sounds like a truly thoughtful guy who cares deeply for you and your well-being.

You express some of the traits of depression. Such feeling or traits can come about for a variety of reasons, so best to see your GP to cover all bases in regard to investigating the possibility of things such as clinical depression, low B12 levels, hormone related issues, low iron levels and so on. What you are feeling could be due to a number of underlying reasons and basic blood tests should be able to rule out some of them. Even something like sleep apnea can bring about feelings of lethargy and depression.

Personally, I never experienced any significant trauma before my years in depression. Since coming out of that dark part of my life, I've done a great deal of research on the brain and how it works and it's all seriously enlightening stuff. My goodness we're complex creatures! That thing up there in our head is one super duper powerful thing and if we don't know how our thoughts or chemistry impact us, that powerful untamed thing can lead us into some pretty dark places without us realising, until we're there.

Definitely visit a trusted GP who'll investigate all possibilities. Keep in mind it is hard to care and feel motivated and happy when the chemistry responsible for these feelings is not surging around in our head like it should.

Take care of yourself JosieK

[White_Rose]

Dear Josie

Welcome to the forum . It's great you have found your way here. You have received two great replies from Alice and therising.

If you are depressed then it's good to learn as much as possible about it. If you start at the home page and click on the Learn about Depression circle you will find information about depression. Some information is available to download while booklets can be ordered. No charge for anything. These are a valuable resource. Ask for the information for families and friends to give to your partner. I agree with therising, you partner sounds very caring and supportive.

Depression does not need any kind of traumatic event to visit you. This black dog wanders in to any home it can and tries to create havoc. You can tame it and teach it manners while he is in residence. The first port of call is always your GP. Firstly because he/she has a great deal of knowledge and will be able to diagnose depression or any other ailment. Secondly because he/she will know which specialist to send you to if this is necessary.

Be as open as possible. Copy and print your post above or the whole thread so far, and give it to the doctor. That will break the ice and help the doctor to know what's happening to you. The GP will take the conversation from there.

You are not being horrible. This is how you feel. My depression started many years ago and it was so dreadful. I had no motivation to do anything. Seeing my GP was the best thing I did. You do not need to have had something bad happen to you to become depressed. Why some people are affected and others not is a mystery. Again your GP is the best person to talk about this.

Just a short reply for the time being. I would love to know how you go with your GP, if you want to share. Also keep writing in here for support and validation. You are not alone and neither are you strange. Sadly this happens but you will get well again.

Mary

[JosieK]

Wow! Thank you all for taking the time out of your day to respond to my message. It is greatly appreciated. You’re all such kind souls.

I actually do have low iron & b12, I have infusions & shots but I haven’t had any since July as I’ve been away but I have more blood tests on Monday.....maybe my levels are too low again. That’s really interesting, thank you for sharing that with me.

I could go on more about how I’ve been feeling but then I just feel worse for whinging. I’ll get these bloods taken & hope that the low iron & b12 is the cause of this horrid feelings.

Once again thank you so much for replying.

JosieK

[White_Rose]

Hello Josie

Well done for seeing your GP. It's a great first step. If you start to feel better by having some treatment for your low iron and B12 that is lovely. It may be a combination of steps to regain your health but once you know what is happening it is far easier to get well again.

Please let us know how you get on if this is OK with you. Remember we are always here to support you.

Mary